For me, it's about having confidence in my ability to judge a person's intentions, having enough confidence in myself to NOT be manipulated..I trust people until they give me a reason not to...I don't think it would be fair for me to expect or demand someone, anyone, prove they're trustworthy based on my past experience with others....And 99% sounds like damn good odds to me...I'll keep my heart open and take my chances....

I'm a little disappointed more women haven't given their views on this topic.

Why should a women be expected to have sex on a frist date? is that all some men want? i would be applled if my date tried it on on the frist date I have more self respect than that but i want not just sex! people should respect each other & if they want sex on the frist date then fine,if they dont that is their choice! if they can,t respect what you want then they arent worth it! thats just my option! maybe thats why ive been single for so long

As previously stated many men to play head games. Their whole approach leads to sex, but that is ALL they are interested in. If a woman is looking for a 'relationship' she tends to be more careful That said there are women only interested in sex as well. And . . . there are women who want sex, but want to know which type man she's dealing with.

Another concern that some women may have are diseases and STDs.

Excellent point. Some men are very resistant to protection. I demand that especially in the early stages of the relationship.

Earlier, AmandaXoxox let us know that a woman has to hold out until the fourth date if she doesn't want to be a trashy slut. What is the time frame for that, though? A few weeks? A month? Longer?

Best post! Thanks!

Did you read the OP? The question is; if it only takes a few seconds to decide you want to have sex with a man, why do you feel the need to wait? If you know you want to, why not just do it?

Are you suggesting that women that do indulge in sex on a first date have little or no self respect? If so, I'll have to disagree. I don't think self respect and sexual desire have anything to do with each other unless you're talking about prostitution.

I have bumped uglies on the first date before. None of those relationships lasted more than a few days. The sex was great while it lasted but the relationship was hollow and empty!

Everybody is so led around their noses by fear (and granted they are founded fears) as the saying goes, how do you separate the men from the boys? Well, for one all boys want is a wet pee pee.

When it comes to sex women assume they hold all the cards! In a way they do but is men have ways of taking the cards away from them. Why is it so many women throw themselves at men who can supply them stuff like Meth or Cocaine? Drug whores are my favorite kind of person. So weak willed. Willing to do ANYTHING for that line of white powder.

Oh but if that guy is rich and she thinks she even has a remote chance of landing him she will screw that guy silly on the first date hoping to land a "lonely rich man" for an easy living!

Who wants a useless stripper like Velvet Von Black...



...when a girl of Action Like Susie Beasto is a lot more fun,



Especially when she kicks azz on Zombie Nazis!

I think its as long as it takes. Every man/woman is different. I have lots of male friends in their 30s and 40s that wouldn't have sex on a first date; so its just not the women that don't want to. To me, I couldn't have sex with someone I didn't love; so I sure as hell wouldn't love someone on the first date. Again; that is just me and how I feel about it as I am sure there are girls and guys that have sex for the fun of it without really caring about the other person's feelings.

What is she being careful of? What does she gain by holding off on sex?

Ego's and self image can be easily bruised. Liking someone and then being rejected is never easy for anyone.

So, you're saying that by the time you've decided to have sex you've already invested a lot of emotions and by waiting you'll learn if he's invested emotionally too?

If this is right, how does waiting for sex lessen the pain?

Or are you saying that the act of having sex causes an emotional attachment in you?

Because what a person wants and what might be a good idea are not necessarily the same thing. Letting the head rule the heart is an acquired skill, but it's a worthwhile one.

A woman does know if there is chemistry enough and if they would say YES -- and within only a few seconds of meeting - this is TRUE.

She may want to put it off though, (if she is smart) until she learns a little about the consequences of that decision. In other words, she does not want to REGRET that decision later.

He could be a psycho. --and just because there is chemistry does not mean you should let nature take its course.

It is all too easy to get caught up with the intoxication of chemistry -- and if she has been drinking, judgement could be impaired. She could find out later that the guy is really a jerk, a loser, a psycho, or married, or some other turn off that would cause her to say.... oops, bad decision.

For some women, I'm sure there are always power plays. In fact, for many I think this is true.

But if a woman is looking to get laid, and there is chemistry, she might casually have sex with you. (If she does, I don't think she cares diddly about what you will "think" of her.)

If she seems to be keeping you guessing, then she is playing games. If she intends to say yes, you will know soon enough.

I speak from past experience only because currently I simply don't date at all. I've reached a stage in my life that I have to actually like a person (for who they are) even to spend any time with them at all. Sex or chemistry is not a driving force for me. Not that I have given up on the idea... but I would probably need to be "revived." LOL

I have so many things to do, and a lot of interests and hobbies-- and not enough time in the day as it is... a man under foot on a regular basis would just be annoying.

Now for TexasScoundrel,

I think your username is probably very true. (Scoundrel from Texas.)

What about you makes you a desirable prospect for a woman anyway?

Your attitude is: "It's my way or the highway."

You do not compromise at all and you expect any woman to accept you exactly as you feel like being at the time. "Don't change the channel on my music, and don't touch my remote control. If there is anything you don't like about me or my home then there is the door.

You certainly are admittedly not a knight in shining armor, and would not lift a finger to help a damsel (or anyone) under attack, and you think a woman should not waste your time and/or money if she is not going to put out on the first 'date."

(To even call that a date is stretching it. What you want is to have sex and then kick her out of the truck.) What you want is a lot lizard or like you said before, an android wife who obeys your every command and does not talk back.

You have no roots, and you live on wheels, free as a breeze like a fly-by-night one night stand should be.

So sex on the first date may be what you want, but you probably will have to pay for it.

If anything I have said is not true, my apologies.

A lot of women equate sex to emotional attachment whether or not they want to believe it. Society has conditioned them well to not see the obvious sometimes!

Why do some men say "be careful of a woman's crotch. They hide a big fishhook down there!"

Ladies, you may take offense at this all you want. This was a saying in the army back in WWII all the way to Korea and the Vietnam wars! Where did I hear it? FROM OLD WAR VETS and likewise I believe there were at least two Army Training Films that had that very quote in it. I am not sure how easy it would be to dig them up but how many men were dragged before an alter over an accidental pregnancy historically? Grand assumptions are likewise historical events!

And to think Arranged Marriages are messed up too!

same reason we might decide we would like a new car,, but it doesnt mean its practical or safe to jump into it on impulse


for many women, sex comes with emotions, and because someone may be sexually appealing, doesnt mean they wont be emotionally disappointing,,,