Topic: Does no mean no?
Mirage4279's photo
Mon 12/31/12 09:31 PM

And yes Andy I do see what you mean...

Words being taken right out of context as soon as I said them.

AndyBgood's photo
Mon 12/31/12 10:13 PM
Edited by AndyBgood on Mon 12/31/12 10:14 PM
Accidental double post!

AndyBgood's photo
Mon 12/31/12 10:29 PM
Edited by AndyBgood on Mon 12/31/12 10:31 PM

Women do not use sex as a weapon.


Wrong. Fallacy! Time adn time again there are many situations where women have indeed used sex as a weapon.



Women's sexuality has been feared and controlled by men for a long time but that does not make it a weapon,


Partially true. ISLAM. Nuff said there. Christianity (the organized kind), 'Women shall serve man.' I can agree with the premise of this statement. But again comparing one thing or concept to the other, especially this disassociated, FALLACY! Women again do indeed use sex as a weapon! Again History bears this out!



Men who fear a woman's sexuality are the only ones who would consider it a weapon.


Passive aggressive BULLSHYTE! You are kidding yourself and lying to yourself! I don't FEAR very much at all let alone any woman or her sexuality. I don't even fear god. There is no excuse for acting like a slut. You want to act like a slut and a man takes it upon himself to test your sluttiness against your will you are still a slut.

Walk like a Duck, Quack Like a Duck, leave little white poo poos by the pond side like a duck, IT HAS TO BE A DUCK!


A sexual woman is just that a sexual woman, no different than a sexual man. Her demonization is a result of the misogyny of the past and her mistreatment.


And again Fallacious and self serving. Present yourself like an easy meal get treated like an easy meal. Presentation is everything. Again act like a slut, guess what. There is classy, and there is trashy. McDonalds or Red Robin, a hamburger is a hamburger right? NO! ONE IS ABOUT TWO TO THREE DOLLARS vs,. THE OTHER BEING SIX OR MORE DOLLARS! AND THEN THERE IS QUALITY ISSUES BETWEEN THE TWO! Women who act respectable generally are treated respectably!

Likewise you seem to confuse most men with main stream media. You are aware "Sex in the city" just empowered women to be sluts, to use men as objects, and demonize men? All the same qualities you blame us men for!

MIRROR MIRROR baby!

I can see that some of the empowered women here have been steeped deeply in the femina mistique and seem to be under some delusion that equality absolves you of personal responsibility. So many of you wanting Prince Charming when most of us men are nothing but Horney Toads. Well, if all you can do is wade in a pond kissing frogs and hoping for princes to pop out for you guess what, all you will get is warts on your lips! Get real. You expect men to be complete gentlemen at every turn? And you bear no responsibility for your actions?

ONE

MORE

TIME!

If you put yourself in a place of danger and get harmed you only have yourself to blame. Don't come crying to me for sympathy.

Sorry but I again can and will say it. Some of you women clearly see (read) only what you want to see and the rest of us be damned!

msharmony's photo
Mon 12/31/12 11:33 PM
Edited by msharmony on Mon 12/31/12 11:34 PM

I can think of so many grey areas it isnt funny.

why a woman would say no after starting... perhaps the partner is into something more aggressive or vulgar than what she was prepared for, like choking for instance(it happens).


why a man would not stop after his partner said no,,,perhaps his mind has gone into that phase of passion where he is no longer aware of soft verbal signals and he is paying more attention to the physical response, which may be the woman rubbing his hair or his back or ,,,you get the point,,lol


Thats why its best to be serious about your body and whom you share it with. Its not CASUAL, it can turn very serious very fast.

and yes, its even BETTER, and sexier, to talk about those things with a partner before you get to that point in the relationship(if you are the kind to need a relationship for sex to occur,, if not,, ur taking your chances,,,)



And even with all of the above being responsible and mature, no still means no. No matter if she says it or he does, no matter when it is said, no matter how turn on a person is. It is their responsibility to make sure they answer a no with stopping what they are doing.


no is one syllable that takes less than one second to say,, if other 'communication' occurs before that millisecond that the mind has to fully 'receive' that one millisecond of communication

than that communication is every bit as viable as the 'no'

thats what makes it confusing in those gray areas

a person can literally say a verbal NO this second and before the action has a chance to stop completely, their frame of mind can cause them to be giving body language or verbal cues that say YES,,,,


so the flip side that people dont like to admit or be consistent in,,is that

no means no,,,and adversely

yes means yes


and we speak in verbal and body lanugage,,,,

no photo
Tue 01/01/13 10:40 AM

I do somewhat see the opposing side of this argument... that is, you have to feel sorry for the guy who is charged or rightly accused of rape where it is kind of gray...

perhaps flirted with heavily and got started then asked to stop half way through it for god knows whatever reason... where it was not really violent and that sort of thing.

If told to stop or 'no' and he continues it is rape clearly after this point. Still kind of feel sorry, and somewhat de-criminalizes their actions in certain scenarios that matches this criteria.

Today many people (women often) use rape accusations that kind of talk out the side of their mouth. Twice I have been accused of rape once I have no clue what shes talking about the other would have (her and her bf were breaking up and we almost had sex and the bf accused me) had an argument had we had sex becuase she was not quite as into it after we went to bed as she was when she was tearing off her clothes and running around the house with her panties on. Still could have argued rape becuase she was not half as gung ho about it in bed as she was trapsing through the house in her g-string.. still would not have been rape though unless she had said no.

Point here is many women use this as a way of stabbing some poor bastard in the back that did not actually rape her just to get a pity party. I have heard of this WAY more then I have been around an actual rape (that I know about).


I cannot feel sorry for someone who continued after he was told no.

You say many women have used this. How many is many?

Mirage4279's photo
Tue 01/01/13 12:02 PM
Edited by Mirage4279 on Tue 01/01/13 12:04 PM
LoL Well for example at a place I used to work there was a girl that was on the phone while I was getting ready for work at my locker. While talking on the phone she told the person she was speaking with that she had been raped. Totally get the feeling she was talking to that person yet sort of directing it at me as though she wanted me to over hear it. Like she was trying to get my attention in an immature way. Crap like this ... I have seen since high school... How could you not know what I was talking about.

no photo
Tue 01/01/13 12:11 PM

LoL Well for example at a place I used to work there was a girl that was on the phone while I was getting ready for work at my locker. While talking on the phone she told the person she was speaking with that she had been raped. Totally get the feeling she was talking to that person yet sort of directing it at me as though she wanted me to over hear it. Like she was trying to get my attention in an immature way. Crap like this ... I have seen since high school... How could you not know what I was talking about.


So, you just assumed she was lying?

Also, you didn't say how many "many women" means.

Mirage4279's photo
Tue 01/01/13 12:20 PM
Yep! That was based upon the assumption that she was probably not telling the truth. I do not have a counter for such. What difference does it make??? Point is, is that rape is kind of a Holy Grail of making someone look bad and getting sympathy or attention. Often thrown around to get attention or sympathy or said over what I am guessing would be the lightest of whims.

no photo
Tue 01/01/13 12:21 PM
While I am sure some women lie about it to get attention, I don't know any of those women. I don't know anyone who has lied about being raped to get sympathy.

I'm still curious about how many "many women" is, though.

msharmony's photo
Tue 01/01/13 12:24 PM
Edited by msharmony on Tue 01/01/13 12:26 PM

Yep! That was based upon the assumption that she was probably not telling the truth. I do not have a counter for such. What difference does it make??? Point is, is that rape is kind of a Holy Grail of making someone look bad and getting sympathy or attention. Often thrown around to get attention or sympathy or said over what I am guessing would be the lightest of whims.



best not to mess with unstable lovers,,,its all I can tell ya,,,


I have been a victim myself, my non consent was DEFINITIVE And unmistakable as their intent to use coercion and FORCE (to the point of being physically restrained from leaving, including blocked and locked doors)

some women do not know how to be definitive and unmistakable, and some men pay the price for it


I dont think it happens as often as true rapes, but I do think it happens to much to leave it open to such a simplistic cliche as 'no means no'


perhaps its more prudent to multiply the syllables required for communication

asking' do you want to have sex',, would be much clearer comunication allowing for a definitive 'yes' or 'no'

dontcha think?

and 'ive changed my mind' would also be a clearer communication than a 'no' once a yes has been received

,,,just some suggestions,,,

Mirage4279's photo
Tue 01/01/13 12:25 PM
There is no way to know for sure as you just pointed out. They could have been telling the truth for all I know. Not likely though ... contrary to what you just said.

no photo
Tue 01/01/13 12:28 PM

There is no way to know for sure as you just pointed out. They could have been telling the truth for all I know. Not likely though ... contrary to what you just said.


Ah, so these ladies that you believe are lying could be telling the truth? You aren't certain?

Mirage4279's photo
Tue 01/01/13 12:34 PM
Edited by Mirage4279 on Tue 01/01/13 12:42 PM


There is no way to know for sure as you just pointed out. They could have been telling the truth for all I know. Not likely though ... contrary to what you just said.


Ah, so these ladies that you believe are lying could be telling the truth? You aren't certain?


It sounded like an immature way of getting attention and putting drama where their was not any before. Technically she could have telling the truth for all I knew ...

Sort of like an abusive and controllling x-bf may have came home drunk from the bar one night and threatned to cut his gf off and throw her out becuase she had almost slept with someone else. And kind of manipulated the situation to get her to say she had been raped by the guy. Not preapred to deal with such thing after last call... broke down... Did not see it with my own eyes...This drunken conversation between the two realistically may not have happened... Again thinking is based upon an unkown assumption.

no photo
Tue 01/01/13 12:37 PM



There is no way to know for sure as you just pointed out. They could have been telling the truth for all I know. Not likely though ... contrary to what you just said.


Ah, so these ladies that you believe are lying could be telling the truth? You aren't certain?


It sounded like an immature way of getting attention and putting drama where their was not any before. Technically she could have telling the truth for all I knew ...


Ok. So, you don't know that these "many women" who you say have falsely accused men of raping them are actually lying. Is it that they all sounded like they were immaturely trying to get attention?

Just trying to understand what has made you assume so many women are lying about rape.

Mirage4279's photo
Tue 01/01/13 12:48 PM
I cannot feel sorry for someone who continued after he was told no.


I could feel sorry for them... Not becuase I would do such a thing... not sure that I could keep going after being told no...


It just happned to me twice ... quite clearly said I did not want to mess around and the girl persisted anyway. So not a big deal. Would never dream of doing anything about it.

AndyBgood's photo
Tue 01/01/13 01:11 PM

Yep! That was based upon the assumption that she was probably not telling the truth. I do not have a counter for such. What difference does it make??? Point is, is that rape is kind of a Holy Grail of making someone look bad and getting sympathy or attention. Often thrown around to get attention or sympathy or said over what I am guessing would be the lightest of whims.




Partially the point I was trying to make. Actually a side tangent of it.

:banana: Nice!:banana:

Kind of goes with the whole incident with that unfortunate Lacrosse team.

Mirage4279's photo
Tue 01/01/13 01:40 PM
indifferent

Mirage4279's photo
Tue 01/01/13 02:30 PM


LoL Well for example at a place I used to work there was a girl that was on the phone while I was getting ready for work at my locker. While talking on the phone she told the person she was speaking with that she had been raped. Totally get the feeling she was talking to that person yet sort of directing it at me as though she wanted me to over hear it. Like she was trying to get my attention in an immature way. Crap like this ... I have seen since high school... How could you not know what I was talking about.


So, you just assumed she was lying?

Also, you didn't say how many "many women" means.


Do not get me wrong singme ... If I was prolly being told the truth I prolly would have believed her... Not anti-woman when it comes to an actual accusation... still feel sorry for the guy some times.. penalties are kind of stiff.

no photo
Tue 01/01/13 03:40 PM
The ONLY reason social attitudes toward sexual assault remain regressive is because men are still demonizing promiscuous women...Women still live with the knowledge that arbitrary judgements will be made about them when it comes to how many sexual partners they have had, how many divorces they have endured, how big their breasts are, how tight their azz is, how shapely their legs are, and how short they wear their skirts....If a man has a lot of sexual partners, he's a stud...If a woman has a lot of sexual partners, she's a slut...It's a huge double standard and it is BS!...
The ONLY way to improve social attitudes toward rape and yes, rape victims, is to END sexual hypocrisy!!...The number of men a woman chooses to have sex with is her business and hers alone and is NOT related to morality...MORE IMPORTANTLY, it in no way compromises her RIGHT TO SAY NO to a boyfriend, a husband, or a one night stand AT ANY POINT DURING SEXUAL INTERACTION!...
The ONLY thing that causes rape is a perpetrators decision to rape!...So grow up boys, grow up and deal with it....NO MEANS NO....

msharmony's photo
Tue 01/01/13 03:47 PM
be responsible,, dont start what you cant finish

that goes for anything in life

and be careful how you present yourself,,

that goes for most things in life too,,,,


just like most office employers arent going to take an applicant as a serious prospect for employment if they come in in cut off shorts and a tank top with a baseball cap

and most women arent going to consider a guy they just saw approach ten other women before approaching them with a cheesy line

most men are not gonna consider a woman interested in much of anything 'serious' or committed, if they have seen them being 'free' with a bunch of fellas before them before coming onto them in enticing/revealing clothing and behaviors


presentation and responsibility..every bit as important as 'blame'