Community > Dating & Relationships

Topic: Dominance
navygirl Joined Sat 06/02/07 Posts: 8118	Mon 10/29/12 12:12 PM
Is this topic about things like the time I had a date and she said she was gonna slip into "something more comfortable" and came out in a Russian Border Guard uniform with a copy of the Times and told me to beat her with it? Or like how the women at work say I am too easy going and love it when "my daddy voice" comes out? You know I consider myself a pretty average guy and yet I don't understand why my experiences seem to crack people up. I think its because I am willing to admit and talk about them, when others hide it. Yeah; I am a pretty average gal; although most of my experiences crack me up too.

TBRich Joined Fri 11/07/08 Posts: 8232	Mon 10/29/12 12:17 PM
Is this topic about things like the time I had a date and she said she was gonna slip into "something more comfortable" and came out in a Russian Border Guard uniform with a copy of the Times and told me to beat her with it? Or like how the women at work say I am too easy going and love it when "my daddy voice" comes out? You know I consider myself a pretty average guy and yet I don't understand why my experiences seem to crack people up. I think its because I am willing to admit and talk about them, when others hide it. Yeah; I am a pretty average gal; although most of my experiences crack me up too. Oh really ? Let's hear some good ones..

navygirl Joined Sat 06/02/07 Posts: 8118	Mon 10/29/12 12:19 PM
Is this topic about things like the time I had a date and she said she was gonna slip into "something more comfortable" and came out in a Russian Border Guard uniform with a copy of the Times and told me to beat her with it? Or like how the women at work say I am too easy going and love it when "my daddy voice" comes out? You know I consider myself a pretty average guy and yet I don't understand why my experiences seem to crack people up. I think its because I am willing to admit and talk about them, when others hide it. Yeah; I am a pretty average gal; although most of my experiences crack me up too. Oh really ? Let's hear some good ones.. Okay; met this guy online. Very muscular; nice looking. We hit it off until he says he only wants to meet and be with me so he can try on my clothing as he is a cross dresser. I kid you not; I am not making this up.

TBRich Joined Fri 11/07/08 Posts: 8232	Mon 10/29/12 12:22 PM
Is this topic about things like the time I had a date and she said she was gonna slip into "something more comfortable" and came out in a Russian Border Guard uniform with a copy of the Times and told me to beat her with it? Or like how the women at work say I am too easy going and love it when "my daddy voice" comes out? You know I consider myself a pretty average guy and yet I don't understand why my experiences seem to crack people up. I think its because I am willing to admit and talk about them, when others hide it. Yeah; I am a pretty average gal; although most of my experiences crack me up too. Oh really ? Let's hear some good ones.. Okay; met this guy online. Very muscular; nice looking. We hit it off until he says he only wants to meet and be with me so he can try on my clothing as he is a cross dresser. I kid you not; I am not making this up. Well you are very stylish. But I would rather see you dressed in CENSORED CENSORED and then maybe a little CENSORED.

navygirl Joined Sat 06/02/07 Posts: 8118	Mon 10/29/12 12:24 PM
Is this topic about things like the time I had a date and she said she was gonna slip into "something more comfortable" and came out in a Russian Border Guard uniform with a copy of the Times and told me to beat her with it? Or like how the women at work say I am too easy going and love it when "my daddy voice" comes out? You know I consider myself a pretty average guy and yet I don't understand why my experiences seem to crack people up. I think its because I am willing to admit and talk about them, when others hide it. Yeah; I am a pretty average gal; although most of my experiences crack me up too. Oh really ? Let's hear some good ones.. Okay; met this guy online. Very muscular; nice looking. We hit it off until he says he only wants to meet and be with me so he can try on my clothing as he is a cross dresser. I kid you not; I am not making this up. Well you are very stylish. But I would rather see you dressed in CENSORED CENSORED and then maybe a little CENSORED. What; you don't like my uniforms?

GreenEyes48 Joined Thu 08/26/10 Posts: 1319	Mon 10/29/12 12:45 PM
Navygirl. I don't choose to argue, and I'm very sorry if it came out that way. My main goal was to educate about different lifestyles. No worries; all is good. We all are offering a different perspective about what works for us and we aren't always going to agree with each other. I think that is what keeps life interesting. I agree...Society has taught us about traditional roles and traditional marriages... Things have changed somewhat through the years but a lot of it still plays-out too...And sometimes there is judgement. Anyone who dares to be different is automatically regarded as a "kook!" Or labeled a "feminist" or ??...I didn't hang-out with my girlfriends all the time because I "stuck out" by saying "nice things" about my husband! They have regular "husband/men-bashing sessions." And I feel this is due to playing-out gender roles in their marriages....I'm sure their husbands probably have "women-bashing sessions" when they get together too!...My husband didn't like this kind of "stuff" either. So we didn't socialize very often and just kept to ourselves most of the time and had "peace!"

navygirl Joined Sat 06/02/07 Posts: 8118	Mon 10/29/12 12:51 PM
Navygirl. I don't choose to argue, and I'm very sorry if it came out that way. My main goal was to educate about different lifestyles. No worries; all is good. We all are offering a different perspective about what works for us and we aren't always going to agree with each other. I think that is what keeps life interesting. I agree...Society has taught us about traditional roles and traditional marriages... Things have changed somewhat through the years but a lot of it still plays-out too...And sometimes there is judgement. Anyone who dares to be different is automatically regarded as a "kook!" Or labeled a "feminist" or ??...I didn't hang-out with my girlfriends all the time because I "stuck out" by saying "nice things" about my husband! They have regular "husband/men-bashing sessions." And I feel this is due to playing-out gender roles in their marriages....I'm sure their husbands probably have "women-bashing sessions" when they get together too!...My husband didn't like this kind of "stuff" either. So we didn't socialize very often and just kept to ourselves most of the time and had "peace!" This is so true. I have sat with friends and you would think they hated their significant others by the way they talked about them. Makes me wonder why they stay together if they can't stand them and of course it just scares me off dating even more.

Leigh2154 Joined Sun 10/02/11 Posts: 16479	Mon 10/29/12 01:37 PM
I'm me...F*** your classifications. No offense intended, but the earliest point of mankind's failure I can route to classifications. It is easy to classify things today, easier than in times past...Anything that segregates a portion of the population as "Lesser" or "More" is detrimental to said society. I classify this post as ballsy and spot on!

navygirl Joined Sat 06/02/07 Posts: 8118	Mon 10/29/12 01:42 PM
I'm me...F*** your classifications. No offense intended, but the earliest point of mankind's failure I can route to classifications. It is easy to classify things today, easier than in times past...Anything that segregates a portion of the population as "Lesser" or "More" is detrimental to said society. I classify this post as ballsy and spot on! Me too.

Bravalady Joined Sun 01/01/12 Posts: 1034	Mon 10/29/12 02:17 PM
I will do for you because I want to. I would hope that you would do the same for me. There will be no "suppose to" in my relationship. I am suppose to take care of myself and you are suppose to take care of yourself and hopefully out of love we care for each other. THERE you go.

Leigh2154 Joined Sun 10/02/11 Posts: 16479	Mon 10/29/12 02:19 PM
I'm me...F*** your classifications. No offense intended, but the earliest point of mankind's failure I can route to classifications. It is easy to classify things today, easier than in times past...Anything that segregates a portion of the population as "Lesser" or "More" is detrimental to said society. I classify this post as ballsy and spot on! Me too.

Bravalady Joined Sun 01/01/12 Posts: 1034	Mon 10/29/12 02:21 PM
Film: Scene 256: Man: Jane, I'm going to get around the bad characters, and check them from behind. You stay here. (Editor's note: see how he controls. "You stay here." She ain't his dog, she does what she wants.) Woman: No, Jack, I want to come with you. (Woman pleades and starts to negotiate; sign of call for equality). Man: No. Just stay here. I'll be back. (Ibid.) Woman: Okay. (giving in to control.) Scenes 257 to 292 (play out, no significance to the question at hand). Scene 292 to 213, summary: woman did not stay there, she went out of the spot, into another spot, where she could shoot the person who was just about going to finish off Man for sure. Happy end, every good person survives, all bad people perish. --------------------- Reality Version one: Man: Jane, you stay here. (Notice dominance.) Woman: Okay, Jack. (Notice acceptance of submissive role.) Eventuality: their enemies first finish off Man, then finish off Woman. --------------------- Reality Version two: Man: Jane, you stay here. Woman: No. Please stop trying to push me around. Man: What do you mean, "push you around". We are in a life-and-death situation. Woman: I know. I am not convinced that your plan will work. You havn't even told me your plan. Why do you think I'll stay here just because you ordered me to? Man: Quiet, for chrissakes. We are in enemy territory. So please stay quiet, stay here, and I come back later to pick you up. Woman: Typical, Jack, typical. You think I can do nothing to save us, can't contribute, you want to come back and screw me (pick me up). You won't have that, no sir. Man: JANE!! I am telling you. If they find us, they kill us both. Woman: That's exactly what I am trying to tell you, you AZZOLE!! WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU ARE SO MUCH BETTER THAN I AT DEFENDING THE TWO OF US? YOU DON'T KNOW DIC% S&IT, YOU JUST WANT TO GO AHEAD WITH THIS, (even louder) because you are a blockhead!! Man: YOU SHUT UP, YOU BRAZEN HUSSIE!! YOU'LL GET US BOTH KILLED! Woman: And you? You, Mr. Saviour? You don't even know how many there are, what their weapnos are, how well trained they are in close-range firepower combat, you are a COMPLETE NINCOMPOOP!! I wish you will get killed, you egotistical narcissistic boron!! Or moron, I am sorry. I meant to say moron. Man: Might as well, because I don't ever want to see you again or talk to yo... (Might as well, as both are blown to pieces or shot into sieves by enemy fire, since enemy had a child's play locating them and surrounding them surreptitiously, going by their argumentative and loud voices alone.) AAAAAhahahahahaha. Spot on, I must say.

TheCaptain Joined Wed 09/06/06 Posts: 44412	Mon 10/29/12 06:43 PM
If it walks like a duck, flies like a duck, and quacks like a duck..... It's a duck. Why should it worry about being labeled what it clearly is???

msharmony Joined Mon 08/31/09 Posts: 61041	Mon 10/29/12 06:53 PM
If it walks like a duck, flies like a duck, and quacks like a duck..... It's a duck. Why should it worry about being labeled what it clearly is??? well put we are taught ADJECTIVES to describe people and things,when we are trying to communicate an idea no 'label' is required for certain, but adjectives will be used to express an idea,,,,,or an observation,,

GreenEyes48 Joined Thu 08/26/10 Posts: 1319	Mon 10/29/12 07:44 PM
If it walks like a duck, flies like a duck, and quacks like a duck..... It's a duck. Why should it worry about being labeled what it clearly is??? well put we are taught ADJECTIVES to describe people and things,when we are trying to communicate an idea no 'label' is required for certain, but adjectives will be used to express an idea,,,,,or an observation,, I find the "dom" and "sub" labels or terms way out there!...The only time I've ever heard them used (before now) is in reference to porn...The term "submissive" is foreign to me because I've never been part of churches that use this word/term...And I don't claim to know very much about ducks! I see them swimming in rivers or lakes but that's about it!

KarolinMarie Joined Tue 02/28/12 Posts: 67	Mon 10/29/12 08:30 PM Edited by KarolinMarie on Mon 10/29/12 08:31 PM
I'm definitely the submissive one. I love a man to be dominant and aggressive!

TexasScoundrel Joined Wed 10/29/08 Posts: 3693	Mon 10/29/12 08:34 PM
So; what are your thoughts of when men become emotional? I found I had to be the strong one when the guys were overly emotional. I hate to break it to you but just being a man doesn't make you the strong one in a relationship. I was responsible for people's lives and making the wrong decision would have caused someone's death. How can I seriously see man who has sat behind a desk as a paper pusher being in charge when he has never faced these kind of decisions? I think the difference is I am mature enough to share equally in a relationship rather than take control which I easily could due to my life experience. I didn't get those medals by being dominated. I'm not talking about you. I'm speaking generally because I believe what I'm saying is generally true. Not all men are leaders. Not all women are followers. But, in all the successful relationships I know, one partner is more dominant than the other.

navygirl Joined Sat 06/02/07 Posts: 8118	Mon 10/29/12 08:40 PM
If it walks like a duck, flies like a duck, and quacks like a duck..... It's a duck. Why should it worry about being labeled what it clearly is??? well put we are taught ADJECTIVES to describe people and things,when we are trying to communicate an idea no 'label' is required for certain, but adjectives will be used to express an idea,,,,,or an observation,, I find the "dom" and "sub" labels or terms way out there!...The only time I've ever heard them used (before now) is in reference to porn...The term "submissive" is foreign to me because I've never been part of churches that use this word/term...And I don't claim to know very much about ducks! I see them swimming in rivers or lakes but that's about it! I agree. I believe in equal decisions as if something goes wrong; we both take equal blame. I wonder if women want men to make decisions so when something goes wrong they can blame him 100% rather than taking any responsiblity.

PacificStar48 Joined Tue 10/02/07 Posts: 13764	Mon 10/29/12 09:01 PM
I have read a lot of the thread but it kind of boils down for what works for me would not work for everybody so I am not even going to suggest it should. I would not be real comfortable with labeling an order for rank in my life and I come from a mindset and experience where rank was often King. Married to a military man you followed his career because the alternative was not much of an option. At home that wasn't necessarily so but I am not going to say I was always against it once absolute trust was established. I like the idea of doing what works for the situation. Life sometimes turns roles around and a partner that can roll with that is a plus. Even if at times it means a mate that has to take charge and let the other coast to get through a crisis in health, education, employment, or addressing dependents needs or be the one cared for without looseing their self esteem. To me a strong marriage is a set of scales that eventually level out in the long view but can accomodate the sifts with excruciateingly ridgid roles totally tossing off the balance.

wux Joined Wed 07/29/09 Posts: 7426	Mon 10/29/12 09:26 PM
Gaaaah. Dominant, submissive, such role playing. It's the kind of thing that destroys relationships, at least in my experience. I refuse to be put in either of those boxes. Maybe you're too young to remember the way women had to fight to get out of those prescribed roles. If you actually like them, I suppose no harm but geez, so limiting. I can only be myself in a true partnership (which is why I'm alone, of course). You know, you crushed me. You would look so good in one of those boxes!! A box planted full of beautiful violets or lillies of he valley. You would be the most fragrant beauty among those jewels of nature's own behest for us. In fact, I never told you this, but now I can; I was hot on your trail because you would fit in so well with my apartment's decor. You know, when you buy a huge mirror or a magnificent Standing Harp, for your living room, and it fits there like Michelangelo's Pieta in the Basilica of St. Peter. I knew you would look good here, but you never said yes... so yes, this is a sad, sad thing, but I roll my eyes and I breethe deep, and I scratch my ankle, blink slowly, and I learn to live with it.