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| Topic: Dominance | |
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I prefer it in a male, but common sense tells me that some women like more submissive men and some like something in between. SImilarly, men sometimes like a submissive woman and sometimes they like a dominant woman. I prefer being able to be soft/passive/submissive but I refuse to be abused or bullied and as a single parent it is necessary that I accept authority in my home. Still, a take charge man is the sexiest kind in my eyes. which are you : dominant , sub, or something in between? which do you prefer? Date me, and I'll let you know then. 
lol,,funny |
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Gaaaah. Dominant, submissive, such role playing. It's the kind of thing that destroys relationships, at least in my experience. I refuse to be put in either of those boxes. Maybe you're too young to remember the way women had to fight to get out of those prescribed roles. If you actually like them, I suppose no harm but geez, so limiting. I can only be myself in a true partnership (which is why I'm alone, of course). Very well said. 
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Gaaaah. Dominant, submissive, such role playing. It's the kind of thing that destroys relationships, at least in my experience. I refuse to be put in either of those boxes. Maybe you're too young to remember the way women had to fight to get out of those prescribed roles. If you actually like them, I suppose no harm but geez, so limiting. I can only be myself in a true partnership (which is why I'm alone, of course). I think everyone should aspire to be themself, I kind of dont think people can do anything but be themself,, but thats a topic for another thread,,,lol we are all complex, as am I,, but I am most comfortable in those times when someone else has the 'authority/responsibility' . because my life mandates me to have so much its awesome to hand that to someone else,,,at least for me,,, |
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I prefer it in a male, but common sense tells me that some women like more submissive men and some like something in between. SImilarly, men sometimes like a submissive woman and sometimes they like a dominant woman. I prefer being able to be soft/passive/submissive but I refuse to be abused or bullied and as a single parent it is necessary that I accept authority in my home. Still, a take charge man is the sexiest kind in my eyes. which are you : dominant , sub, or something in between? which do you prefer? Date me, and I'll let you know then.
lol,,funny  Hey! I am serious. 
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It's my opinion that someone must lead and the other must follow. But, that doesn't mean they don't switch places if that's what's needed.
However, I also think most women want to be lead to some extent. They want a man to sit at the head of the table. A man that can take charge. A man that doesn't cower when she becomes emotional. |
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It's my opinion that someone must lead and the other must follow. But, that doesn't mean they don't switch places if that's what's needed. However, I also think most women want to be lead to some extent. They want a man to sit at the head of the table. A man that can take charge. A man that doesn't cower when she becomes emotional. Too much generalization. Not useful in actually living life. |
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Too much generalization. Not useful in actually living life. I disagree. All the couples I know that have been together more than ten years all have a dominant. Usually it's the man, but sometimes it's the woman. Equeal simply doesn't work. Eevn the gay community understands this. |
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When we're small our parents are suppose to take care of us...But when we reach adulthood it all changes. (Whether like it or not!)...I don't want to be married to a "father-figure." And I wouldn't want to be asked to play "mom" to a grown man either...I think we're all responsible for our choices and decisions in life whether we're married or not...I don't want to be treated like a "child." And I wouldn't want to treat my husband like my "father" or my "child" either.
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Edited by
navygirl
on
Mon 10/29/12 08:32 AM
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It's my opinion that someone must lead and the other must follow. But, that doesn't mean they don't switch places if that's what's needed. However, I also think most women want to be lead to some extent. They want a man to sit at the head of the table. A man that can take charge. A man that doesn't cower when she becomes emotional. Too much generalization. Not useful in actually living life. I agree. I know couples married for over 25 years and they have an equal relationship. Neither one bosses the the other around as they both have an equal say in all decisions. They even take separate vacations as well as one together. Its all about respect and they respect each other to have equality. Having a dominant in a relationship is an old fashioned concept and anyone that has any self respect for their partner won't try to dominate them. I guess the difference in these couples that I know is that the man is open minded and is prepared to grow with their partner rather than acting like a child that has to be in charge or else. |
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am i the only one who just thinks of sex when you hear sub and dom? o.O I think about Sub sandwiches and Dom DeLuise. |
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I will do for you because I want to. I would hope that you would do the same for me. There will be no "suppose to" in my relationship. I am suppose to take care of myself and you are suppose to take care of yourself and hopefully out of love we care for each other.
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Edited by
navygirl
on
Mon 10/29/12 08:27 AM
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It's my opinion that someone must lead and the other must follow. But, that doesn't mean they don't switch places if that's what's needed. However, I also think most women want to be lead to some extent. They want a man to sit at the head of the table. A man that can take charge. A man that doesn't cower when she becomes emotional. So; what are your thoughts of when men become emotional? I found I had to be the strong one when the guys were overly emotional. I hate to break it to you but just being a man doesn't make you the strong one in a relationship. I was responsible for people's lives and making the wrong decision would have caused someone's death. How can I seriously see man who has sat behind a desk as a paper pusher being in charge when he has never faced these kind of decisions? I think the difference is I am mature enough to share equally in a relationship rather than take control which I easily could due to my life experience. I didn't get those medals by being dominated.
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Gaaaah. Dominant, submissive, such role playing. It's the kind of thing that destroys relationships, at least in my experience. I refuse to be put in either of those boxes. Maybe you're too young to remember the way women had to fight to get out of those prescribed roles. If you actually like them, I suppose no harm but geez, so limiting. I can only be myself in a true partnership (which is why I'm alone, of course). I think everyone should aspire to be themself, I kind of dont think people can do anything but be themself,, but thats a topic for another thread,,,lol we are all complex, as am I,, but I am most comfortable in those times when someone else has the 'authority/responsibility' . because my life mandates me to have so much its awesome to hand that to someone else,,,at least for me,,, |
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Well I dislike the terms dom or sub. They imply more and less. Equality is the only way any relationship will last, but I also realize that there WILL be disagreements. In a two person relationship there has to be a tie breaking method. My rules are that the positive thought or emotion should always trump the negative thought, and each party must have the absolute veto power. The veto power must be respected.
Sexually I like it both ways. There are time I adore a dominant woman (no bondage or pain) and there are times I just have to take charge. |
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I will do for you because I want to. I would hope that you would do the same for me. There will be no "suppose to" in my relationship. I am suppose to take care of myself and you are suppose to take care of yourself and hopefully out of love we care for each other. |
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I will do for you because I want to. I would hope that you would do the same for me. There will be no "suppose to" in my relationship. I am suppose to take care of myself and you are suppose to take care of yourself and hopefully out of love we care for each other. Considering that the major religions are misogynistic, yea, they do keep women "in their place" but technically a woman is only in the place she allows, there is no "assignment". And a man should have enough self esteem to be up and know that he is the best man he can be regardless to his woman or anyone else for that matter. To get to this point in your own mind though you have to throw out most of what we have been taught is the "correct" life to live. Especially women. We have been shackled to the men's "standards" for a long long time. So long, that women actually accept it as "the way it is suppose to be". And teach their sons and daughters that it is way "it is suppose to be". So it carries on. None of which says that I do not like to be treated as a lady. But being treated as a lady and treated as less than a man is not the same. His motivation for how he treats a woman is the key there. |
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I will do for you because I want to. I would hope that you would do the same for me. There will be no "suppose to" in my relationship. I am suppose to take care of myself and you are suppose to take care of yourself and hopefully out of love we care for each other. I like a woman to depend on me and to view me a "Prince Charming", ready and able to provide for her. BUT, I want her to do this because she freely chooses it not because she has to, being a submissive slob incapable of making a decision on her own. |
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I will do for you because I want to. I would hope that you would do the same for me. There will be no "suppose to" in my relationship. I am suppose to take care of myself and you are suppose to take care of yourself and hopefully out of love we care for each other. I like a woman to depend on me and to view me a "Prince Charming", ready and able to provide for her. BUT, I want her to do this because she freely chooses it not because she has to, being a submissive slob incapable of making a decision on her own. Quite well said. Here is an interesting article I found about how dominance can backfire on a relationship. Dominance;One problem with such an unbalanced relationship is that once the children are out of the house, career goals have been accomplished, and the mortgage on the mansion has been paid off, the stable relationship may no longer have a reason to exist. The dominant spouse, or both, may lose interest and begin looking for another partner. Another potential problem is that the dominant spouse may become dictatorial and abusive. Abusive dominance makes the costs of subordination skyrocket to the point that the benefits of the relationship are no longer worth it and the subordinate must walk out. |
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navygirl...Congratulations on your long career in the Navy and all of the leadership skills you've developed through the years...I agree with all you've written about men having emotions too. (And hidden insecurities.)...I don't feel that it's my job (as a woman) to make sure that my man feels "pumped-up" and "on top" at all times. (So he won't wind-up with an ego or identity "crisis!")...I'm always generous with praise when I feel it is deserved! But I don't want to play "perpetual cheerleader" to a man and not much more!...In order to grow we all have to face our insecurities and "problem areas." If we keep pretending that the emperor is wearing clothes he's never going to look in the mirror and face reality. (Own-up to being "naked" for a long long time.)...I don't want to be surrounded by people who only tell me what they think I want to "hear." ("Yes people" and "brown-nosers!")...Being surrounded by "adoring fans" might cause me to make a "fool" out of myself in the long run because everyone in my "inner circle" is afraid to tell me that I am "naked." And need to face reality about my "shortcomings."
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navygirl...Congratulations on your long career in the Navy and all of the leadership skills you've developed through the years...I agree with all you've written about men having emotions too. (And hidden insecurities.)...I don't feel that it's my job (as a woman) to make sure that my man feels "pumped-up" and "on top" at all times. (So he won't wind-up with an ego or identity "crisis!")...I'm always generous with praise when I feel it is deserved! But I don't want to play "perpetual cheerleader" to a man and not much more!...In order to grow we all have to face our insecurities and "problem areas." If we keep pretending that the emperor is wearing clothes he's never going to look in the mirror and face reality. (Own-up to being "naked" for a long long time.)...I don't want to be surrounded by people who only tell me what they think I want to "hear." ("Yes people" and "brown-nosers!")...Being surrounded by "adoring fans" might cause me to make a "fool" out of myself in the long run because everyone in my "inner circle" is afraid to tell me that I am "naked." And need to face reality about my "shortcomings."
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