I'm so sorry that you lost your wife...I probably talk about my "late" husband too much on the forum but I'm just not ready to put him on the "back burner" quite yet...Have the women you've dated since your wife passed away been open to hearing about your life with her and your deep love for her? I know it's not easy to live in someone else's "shadow" and this is why I haven't been on any dates since my husband passed away...I'm sure things will probably be different for me down the road. How long did it take you to start dating after your wife passed away? Thanks for your post.

Actually, wouldn't it have become their place? Moving in hardly indicates a guest statis.

I had a good date. I think having one date constitutes as dating. By one date I mean with that one person. But then actually there was one date before her. But she died of a heart attack like my wife. It was two months after my wife passed and we had that one good month. So actually that makes two dates if you figure two different people. Wasn't ready to give up my wife up so yes I know what you mean by that. Its been six years since my wife died. I had to do things like take down her picture where I wouldn't look at it so much. It took longer to take the marriage certificate off the wall. But I kind of like it being there. Wrote a lot of poetry to deal with it. I wrote a lot of ghost poetry about the effect. I had to deal with marriage certificate by taking it off the wall. I mean the marriage certificate said we were still married and I didn't get a divorce from her so in my mind technically we were still married. We never said to death do we part in the vows so that really messed with me for a while. Had a friend helped put my deceased pictures and the love letters I wrote to her away. God, was that ever torture when I was trying to put them away myself and one fell out. I had to deal with a lot of triggers and associations. Triggers being things that reminded me of her and associations like people would ask me at Walmart if I would like to get this or that thing for my wife. I literally scared the hell out of myself with some of the poetry I wrote try to deal with all the freaking emotions and weird stuff I was dealing with at the time. I had to determine what the difference is in being single before marriage with my ex and being single afterwards. And the difference in being single and being single then being married and what the hell is being married but the wife had passed away. Finally I had to determine that technically that is being single, too. It still doesn't compute but it is dealing with reality on its own terms. It took freaking years for the sobbing to stop. Sure is easier to see the monitor when I don't cry. I like not having that blurry vision.

Yeah; I have to agree that the topic of getting a pet would be settle before moving in. Fact is most people don't know how much responsibiity a pet is and when they get one. They don't take full responsibility sometimes and their partner has to take care of their pet. I also think it shouldn't keep coming up every few months as it should have been a done issue and never brought up again.

One would think something like this would have been discussed before moving in.