We gals want the same thing you guys do...

we don't want a door mat, we don't want a p ussy
we don't want a bossy control freak

a good guy that can man up

personally i don't care for the 'bad boy'
seems he is always trying to prove something

I was giving an example. It's not necessarily what I think, but a very common perception. Yeah, it's a stereotype, but one that an awful lot of people follow.

In fact, I know guys that started riding motorcycles just to pick up women. To me, that's just shallow. There are times when I've thought about getting a motorcycle license, but that's because of the wind and the sun. One big reason why I haven't is because I don't like the noise. Another reason is because it is really dangerous in my area. Every year I listen to a biker explain why he's giving up riding. It's always risk vs. reward.

As far as tattoos, like I said, it depends on type and location. A guy is much more likely to be thought of as a bad boy by many more people if his tattoos are located on his hands, forearms, neck, or skull. Basically, the areas with are typically most visible in everyday life. If the tattoos are visible like that, it indicates a rebel attitude since many employers want employees to cover up tattoos while on the clock.

I've known guys who are one or the other, but they aren't bad boys. And I've known guys who do one or the other just to fake being a bad boy. And then there are the guys who really are bad boys, and I wonder why anyone would want to emulate some of these guys.

For the record, when I go to bars, I like dive bars and biker bars. I know my way around them, and generally speaking, no one bothers me. I'll usually find a conversation to jump into, or someone will ask if I play pool or darts. Having worked in restaurants, some of the staff haunts were seedy bars. I had to find subtle ways to earn respect and learn to fit it in.

For instance, I would order a pizza, and everyone wanted a slice. So I started pouring lots of habanero sauce on top because I can handle super spicy food. Well, number one: once I did that, no one wanted my pizza. Number two: a few people snagged a slice (after asking) and started gagging and gulping water because of how much sauce I put on. Meanwhile, I would eat it without tearing or sweating, just like normal. That caught the attention of a few guys, so they would start talking.

I work my 40 every week..have bad and good days ..like everyone else.

I wouldnt say a Bad Girl...per say, Ill shoot my Gun but not Dope..I am a Rebel..I dont want anybody foking with my chit.

I am very sweet soft hearted, loving....and can also reflect the Dark side of that.if tempted.

I wear the Clown because I want to be liked from the inside out,first.

I wasn't saying that those with tattoos are automatically bad boys. I was going by the definition actionlynx gave, so I'm guessing that's what he thinks?

Well said.

I guess I should have been more clear. I wasn't asking for the definition of what you think others think bad boys are, but instead, what you think they are. Or what anyone else thinks they are if they think women are always into bad boys.

Personally, I don't know that I can define it because I take each person on an individual basis. I watch how a person is, see what image he is projecting, etc.

Some guys try to act gangster. Some just try to be cool and detached. Others go for the biker look. And still others just try to have an attitude.

If I had to attempt to define it, a bad boy is someone who tries to present a rebel streak. He's a rule-breaker. He is overtly non-conformist. He almost always has to be in good physical shape, but can come in any size. On top of that, the bad boy doesn't want to change for anybody. If he has a fiancee, he's going to sleep with 30 girls while with her. If likes drinking, he will always have a full 30-pack waiting at home, plus he will go to the bar at least semi-regularly.

The important thing that we have been trying to get at though, is it that women buy into the bad boy image. There are much fewer bad boys out there than there are posers. Acting like a bad boy makes a guy feel tough and manly, but more importantly, it convinces women that he is tough and manly. And part of what women regard as manly is honesty, which a lot of men (especially posers) just don't get. For some reason, bad boys are regarded as straight-shooters, honest men who tell the truth regardless of what others think. The reality is almost always the exact opposite, whether a guy is a poser or a true bad boy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IYTSwGNLPsE

ladies love outlaws

Well all U ladies know Im a sex fiend and a perv!!! BUT I can be nice as well as naughty!!!

Oh I was talking to him not you. I quoted you because I thought we were in agreement on the issue.

Dont worry I don't think you are really bad I was just cracking a joke.

Thanks

Ah, cool. It's nice to actually agree for once.

So, nice guys aren't any of these things? They can't have a rebel streak, be non-conformist, be in good physical shape and so on? A self proclaimed nice guy has never cheated on his fiancee or doesn't have a 30 pack waiting at home?

I think you're trying a bit too hard to categorize bad boys and are pretty much just going by stereotypes.

I think you are missing the point. It doesn't matter how I define the bad boy, it's the bad boy image that women are attracted to. It respresents mystery, excitement, and safety. They are viewed as an adventure. It's why women still idolize James Dean 50 years after he died, with teens and early 20s hanging posters of him on their bedroom walls. Truth is, it is all just an illusion, an image perhaps created by Hollywood even. That's the point you are missing, Singmesweet.

I'm not trying to label anybody. You asked for a definition. I gave you an example. You asked for my definition, and I said I'm not sure I can define it because each guy is different. I took a stab at a definition for your benefit, but I forewarned you.

The question us guys should be asking you women is, how do you define a bad boy? After all, it is the women that are attracted to them, not us guys. How we define it doesn't matter at all. We know why women are attracted to them, but those reasons don't make much sense to us guys. Mainly because women seem to be searching for a romantic ideal more than anything realistic. On the other hand, we get to listen to women complain about these guys til no end, begging the question, "so why are you with him?"

total bad boy

Seems to me someone posed a question concerning different definitions or views of bad boys. I tried to address this. However, not many others bothered to contribute. Instead, several looked to find fault with what I wrote. But they failed to acknowledge that I was only giving one example of a definition, and not my own. From there it has snowballed, trying to push me into a corner based off a false interpretation of what I wrote.

This happens way too often lately, that people misread what I wrote, making assumptions and adding ideas that were not present in the actual text. I'm honestly getting tired of it.

I remember quite clearly giving examples rather than my own definition because how I define it is irrelevant. When I did define it, it was because I was asked to, and I did so with a disclaimer.

Why don't women just come out and admit that they don't like "nice" guys? Or maybe women should offer their definition of a "nice" guy? After all this discussion began because of one woman calling nice guys forward, and from there evolved into a discussion of nice guy vs. bad boy. The whole basis of the discussion....the bare essence....is the mixed signals many women give men. Therefore, it is up to the women to enlighten the men, not vice versa.

So, if people want to twist my words time and again, how am I supposed to interpret that other than as a cue to shut my mouth and crawl under a rock?

I would like to assume that is not the intended meaning. In that case, the alternative thought is that people are in a rush while reading, overlooking or misinterpreting the text because of haste. Therefore, one's penchant for skewing should be noted, and s/he should rectify the said situation.

I will say this one more time:

I did not attempt to personally define a bad boy until I was directly asked to do so. Even then, I asserted that I may not be able to given that each person has a different spin on the motif. Prior to this, I simply used common examples of how society - not me - has typically defined bad boys. And yet, how many others provided their own definitions rather than leaving me alone for the flogging?

That being said, I am done with this conversation. I don't like it when people manipulate and distort my words, especially when I thought I was having a peaceful discussion here.

Even now I'm not sure I want to post this, but how many times am I supposed to go through this? And what good does it do to say nothing? Maybe someday the people who make these mistakes will realize it and apologize. I can always dream...

PS - Ese, this rant has nothing to do with your post. It's just bad timing.

why did my thread about nice guys get overrun by information on 'bad' boys,,,,


jeesh, try to ask a simple question,,,

I like what I like, no matter if it's what you believe to be a bad boy image or a nice guy image. But no, I don't go for men just because they have a "bad boy" image. I'd imagine other women are the same.

Actually, it's you guys saying all the time that women are always going for the bad boys. As I said earlier in the thread, I don't know many women who actually go for bad boys. But, after you described what you thought a bad boy was, it seemed to be all about image. I do like men with tattoos, so apparently in your eyes, that's a bad boy.

Speaking for myself only, I don't really go for the self proclaimed nice guys, as they're not really nice guys. I've said this before. I think some other women have said the same thing.

However, there are absolutely genuinely decent guys out there. They're not the same as the self proclaimed nice guys. They don't complain about finishing last. They don't complain about women going for bad boys instead.

That being said, just be yourself. Don't worry so much about being a nice guy, or losing out to the bad boys.