I made two women go home from costume balls in the nineties. They were thrown by operators of regularly held singles' dances.

One was a Jewish woman who kept her mouth shot, but I recognized her from her eyes. The eyeball, which was nondescript, and from the skins and its foldings from around her eyeballs. She could not believe I recognized her, because she did not recognize me, though I wasn't even in a costume. Unless wearing a suit and a tie you count as costume for me. She and I danced, and I asked questions to which she could nod or shake her head. It came to my having to tell her her name (Dr. Schbaazberg) (Not her real name, but she was a physician). When she heard her real name, she picked up her stuff and left.

The other woman was some years after this. This other woman and I had been taking dancing lessons together, she had me for dinner a lot, she introduced me to her friends, and she came dressed as a blue angel. Nobody recognized her.

Now, the unfortunate thing was that at this second dance people shied away from new people, it was a gang that was familiar to everyone in it. And men were too scared to ask new women, esp. if she was that good looking. You see, this was in Toronto, the city with the most horrible social attitudes in the world. A good looking woman would refuse 99 of 120 people who asked her, and she'd do it with effectively either castrating the male or decapitating him.

So this poor woman, she sat there, nobody recognized her, nobody asked her to dance.

I sat at her table, and completely ignored her out of ignorance of who she was.

She left early, and almost in tears.

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response 2.: A wig is a powerful thing. If a woman has a good hairdo, even if her hair is gray, or whatever, she is five times as good looking as otherwise. The make-up is one-fifth as effective as a good hair do.

For proof, see movies like "The Graduate", "In Like Flint", etc. In the sixties women in America expressed their socioeconomic superiority through being thin, and with their hairdo. The thinner, the richer; the more elaborate the hairdo, the even richer than that. My aunt, an immigrant wife of a doctor, had the same hairdo as the Queen of England for a good 30 years.

Case in point, is the unfortunate library incident with the Socrates Cafe. I asked a 94-year old woman out, and she happily said yes. By the time the date came around, she had succesffully talked herself out of it, and into being disgusted with the idea. We had the date, it went terribly, and hence she has started a damaging gossip against me involving vicious lies.

What got to me was her hairdo. I knew from the first moment it was a wig, and still.

This is why women use make-overs and makeup and body-shape contorters, and wigs and extension with so much glee: They use them because they work on men like a charm.

Atlantis, you are right, and I am not a very good and effective communicator.


Because my point was not in opposition to what you are saying.

My point was, but expressed in a very poorly recognizable form, to say that if people are acting and they have to keep up the act indefinitely, then the world of daters is doomed.

Why? Because most people act on the first date. The act gets less and less prominent and the honesty comes out more and more as the relationship progresses, in MOST but not all instances. If people were to keep up the act that they perfomed on the first date for a long time, they would get a nervous breakdown.

Jeanniebean said, "But then you better be able to follow through with the real stuff and not be a complete phony for a lasting relationship," and this is what I meant to reference in my reply when I said, "this rule would ruin amonst all relationships."

Thanks for raising the objection, because sometimes I am unclear over just how obscure my message is. Thanks for giving me a chance to explain.

Well, there is a way to stop making them act. Most people start playing a role if they are not comfortable and nervous. I have gone on dates, where she was acting, and it wasn't convincing at all and it was a horrible act. What you gotta do is get that mask off and the best way is to make herself comfortable talking about everything.

That's really nice to know Wux. I may start paying more attention to my hair from now on.

Let me ask you this, I currently have short hair. I am considering growing it long. What do you think?

Sexiness is something one exudes when they are comfortable with themselves and others...

without that -all the make-up and dressing in the world won't make a difference

I absolutely don't act on a first date or on any date. I am always myself. I think that's what gets me in trouble within social circles.

In fact, I'm trying to learn to act a little bit. Not for dates, but in social circles where people have polite and flattering conversations but don't really mean it. LOL

My problem is I'm too blunt most of the time. I need to learn to keep my mouth shut I think.

I exude sexiness.... eventually. I once talked to a man for three hours when suddenly he exclaimed... wow you are sexy! It was as if he had just realized it.

Or maybe he had had one too many drinks. LOL

it's quite the time waster to act at all - I certainly would not appreciate it


but here I go again forgetting that I am a good bit older I think than most in this discussion

but yes, acting on any date is self defeating - you want the person to accept you or not- how you really are - like me - outspoken intelligent kind of a pain sometimes but also really & truly very sweet. and a good cook

but the "kind of a pain sometimes" has to be evident and not hidden - no one wants to be blind sided

I think it takes a long time to grow hair long from short.

Do you plan to suspend your life in the interim? If yes, I'd like to borrow you carpet then for the duration.

Hard to imagine that a person with your sharp wit can be blunt most of the time.

need to keep your mouth shut? Well, that is exactly why at almost all society social venues they provide munchies. A bit fattening, so go to organic social society venues if that would worry you.

I am sorry to hear that. It obviously worries you to see a "below average" looking woman giving a boner to half of the bar. I think you would do well if you "cold turkey" stopped going to bars.

Two can play the same game.

Except I don't like playing games.

So if you invite me to play this game again, then I will not respond.

At a half inch per month I can grow it to the shoulder in one year.

At answer.com

No- He realized what was true!
That you ARE sexy!

I have NO clue about photoshop. Thanks for the compliment!

I never used the term all.

Youth and beauty are indicators of good health in women. Men are programed by evolution to prefer healthy women.

80,000 years ago, if a man found a 50 year old woman attractive and tried to breed with her he'd likely have no children or children that were unable to survive long enough to have children of their own, assuming they could attract mates. Therefore, his genes would not pass into future generations and his sons (that may also find more mature women attractive) would never have a chance.

It makes no difference whether a man wants to have children or not. He'll still prefer the woman most likely to give him healthy ones because what we find attractive isn't a choice. Attraction is instantaneous. It happens before we have time to think about it.

This is why Hollywood makes fewer films with women over 40. These women, because of their age, will not bring in as many viewers as a 25 year old will.

I didn't read the entire thread....just enough that I noticed some gorgeous women in their 40's. 40 something is considered "older"?
Damn, I must have one foot in the grave then

There are many women here in these forums, beautiful, kind, alluring and tender, patient, brash, sassy... are just who they are. Look all over the world, but what is right in front of your eyes...perhaps should not be overlooked. It is not in money,it is not in how attention moulds a heart, it is the heart itself. It is in willingness to capture in that mischevious glint, that forgotten emotion of implicit surprise and simplicity with a bit of raspberry tart.

AGREED!!

<----57

Geesh, been fiddling with photobucket for 2 days now to upload these!

I can't wait to get older cuz this is what I'm gonna look like

My Mom and Gramma!