Okay, so the consensus seems to be "put your best foot forward" when it comes to meeting new people, especially here on the internet. In other words, people seem to generally go out of their way to post the most flattering picture on their profiles, to write the most positive aspects of their life, and to put themselves in the best light possible when communicating.

Now this seems to make sense in theory, supposing that you're trying to attract another individual. I mean, you want them to see what a great guy/gal you are, right?!? However, the more I think about this, the more *** backward it seems...

If people REALLY wanted to find someone, they oughta put up a picture of them when they first get out of bed in the morning, which would generally be when they're looking their roughest. If your potential mate can stand that, well then just think how pleased they'll be when you look your best!! If the goal is finding the perfect person to share the rest of your life with, they're going to be seeing your mug every morning, right? Why not let 'em see what they're getting into right from the get go!

Use the same logic for putting your best foot forward...If you portray the best of yourself, your potential mate can only be disappointed when he/she gets to know the you that's lesser than that. Whereas if you were to put up the not so great side of yourself, anyone that was initially attracted to you (despite your perceived 'flaws'!) would think even more highly of you after getting to know the better side!

Not that anyone will actually do this, but it might explain why the failure rate far exceeds the success rate on internet dating sites! Just something to ponder...

Baby....failure rates aint any better in real life either.

I am pretty vain and there is no way I am gonna post up a crappy picture. Yes, I pick my nose but I aint gonna post a pic of it. I get wicked bedhead....not gonna post a picture with a rats nest and eye boogers.

Besides....lots of people post hideous pictures...seriously...I look at them and wonder what the hell they are thinking? "Here I am and I don't give a schitt what I look like..."

That tells me alot about that person.

I think there is no one-time, sure-fire formula that everyone can or must follow in order to obtain, maintain or be successful in a relationship. The reality is, what works for one doesn't necessarily guarantee success for everyone else.

If you think putting your ugliest mug shot will get you the man of your dreams, then by all means, go for it. If you think the opposite would work for you, then so be it. From personal experience, I initially did not put up a picture of my face. I never saw the need for it, but that did not stop love from happening. I know some people personally who did put their best foot forward and have been married for years now. We make our own equations and take our chances. :)

I hear ya Krupa. Like I said, nobody will follow it, but I guess my point is...people should just be real! You're about as real as they come on here, what you see is what you get and you're proud of who you are! That's the way everyone should be!

And agreed Red, no two people will follow the same course. Just wonder how many try too hard to be their "best" when they should just concentrate on being themselves instead...that's probably the surest way to attract a 'true love'...

HA! FOOLED YA!!!!

I am actually a hunchbacked pygmy lesbian.

:)

Having said all that, I do see your point, MW. When I was new here, I didn't put up a photo so he didn't know how I looked and my gorilla had an expression on his picture that bordered on menacing, but the magic still happened. :)

That's like telling me you're a virtuous virgin that has never screamed "**** me harder baby!!" in the throes of passion! I just don't believe it!!

But....But...I am a virtous virgin.....

Really!

:)

i love that morning look! it's very intimate.
and yes, always be yourself
no matter which foot you put forward
as the real will always win the fight.

What if he has two peg legs?

a date and firewood too!! best of both worlds hahaha!!

Ambiance is always a good thing.

I see what you mean. While it's sometimes flattering men telling me i'm hot or whatever, i don't take their opinion of my looks that seriously. It's not important whether i look ugly or pretty. I would say having stuff in common is more important. Especially having a similar sense of humor.

If you're afraid of failure, you can not succeed.

The lion on average catches their prey 7 out of 10 times, and they are king of the jungle.

It is true.
But, he is the hawtest pygmy you will ever
pat on the head :-)

It sounds good in theory, BUT -- in my own case -- if I can't generate any interest even WITH "best foot," I don't see where "worse foot" is going to help matters any!

Well you're exceptional Lex!

I suppose this might explain the "fizzle out phenomenon" better...why some people get a ton of initial contacts that look promising, but then gee, what do ya know, the hot and heavy romance just seems to wane once the other person starts getting to know them better. Swing and a miss, onto the next one.

I just think people try too hard to impress other people...I dunno, maybe I'm nuts but I'm more impressed by seeing someone real than by seeing all their assets splayed out before me...

The problem I've noticed is more along the lines of "Self-assessments aren't worth the paper they're printed on."

It's true that people try to present themselves in (what they perceive as) the best possible light, but "I'm unique because I'm bipedal and take in oxygen" is not exactly accurate or useful information. And it's hard for me to get too excited about someone who can't write at something above a third-grade level.

As far as dating sites go, the beauty of the forum format is that it really exposes people for who they are, if you give them enough time and 45,000 posts.

I think people just need realistic expectations. Putting forth our best foot is putting forth an EFFORT. People are complex and have many parts to them, good and bad. We have to realize that people are not ALWAYS gonna act the same way or look the same way so that the initial attraction doesnt become the goal, but the real time chemistry instead.

Well I have a pic of me picking my nose in my profile. So I wouldnt say thats my best foot forward. Mayeb my best finger up though....lol.