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| Topic: have fallen for a married man | |
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You may have a point but I have been dating for a year or so and have not had anyone take a hold of my heart like this one. I really think it is because believe it or not he really is a nice guy. I know he feels guilt too but I am not sure if I feel what he is doing is so wrong. If he stays with her what is the harm in him seeking something missing with her. I know that he has tried to get her to see things his way but she is not meeting his needs. That being said he loves her I know and for what ever reason that doesn't bother me. I know i should set the bar a little higher but i have dated and men and continue to keep options open but no one makes me feel like he does. All the other men I have dated just seem to bore me or no spark. I may be settling but it doesn't feel that way all the time. I am having a hard time letting go. He is the closest thing i have found to what i would like to find in a my next partner. The cheating thing doesnt bother me. I know it happens and i know it doesn't mean you care for anyone any less it is just something that can make you feel good again if kids etc take over at home. Too many other single men available to just give up on finding the right one for you. He said he loves his wife. Do you have any self respect? |
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cute i like your $.02
your 2 cents worth. lol |
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I’m sorry, but you truthfully have no idea what really goes on between he and his wife, you only have the word of a liar and a cheat! He is married; he is seeing someone outside of the sanctity of his of his marriage therefore, he is just as capable of deceiving you.
And how can you sit here and say what he is doing is not wrong? Every time he looks at his wife he is lying to her. Every time he holds one of his children he is lying to them. Every minute he spends with you he stealing a minute from his FAMILY….this is not wrong? Please! You were once married, yes? Tell me what part of this would have been acceptable to you? You cannot justify his actions by claiming they are benefiting you, it does not make it right. |
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yes i have and at the time it really hurt. It was that feeling of is every thing a lie.. I am not saying i don't feel bad for her. I would hope she never has to find out really. I don't want to break up there family I really don't. I wish there was a way to back up. I know what I have to do but it is so freaking hard. I wish I didn't care for him so much is all. If i had ever met her i know i could have never allowed this to happen. Oh one more thing that really makes this a dead end street i am 10yrs older than he is. Yep i know I am set for a heartache just need a kick in the *** i guess to get on with it. Easier to be with him and happy at the moment. I hate this i really do for many reasons but still i am here in this stupid mess. How to walk away??????? Please tell me how?? You can walk away with your dignity still intact. Someone walked away from me for no reason. That is a real kick in the teeth but I have moved on....so can you. Yes it is painful but you have to have faith in yourself to have more self worth. |
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well yes, I don't see why loving his wife should mean i have any less self respect. I have loved more than one person in my life. I would think others can too. But that is getting way ahead I don't know that he loves me or that I love him. I just know i cant get enough of him and he consumes my thoughts. I am keeping my options open but nothing out there interests me. He does. The first of the last 5 i have dated that really excites me in so many ways. I get all what you are saying i just don't have those same issues with monogamy as most. I feel if 100% honest and open then and trust is the key that it is ok to have another occasionally especially if one is not feeling up to filling the needs of the other. I know when i was married and my ex had really been on my nerves and then would want sex I would have given him my blessing to go somewhere else for a while. Im just saying.
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yes i have and at the time it really hurt. It was that feeling of is every thing a lie.. I am not saying i don't feel bad for her. I would hope she never has to find out really. I don't want to break up there family I really don't. I wish there was a way to back up. I know what I have to do but it is so freaking hard. I wish I didn't care for him so much is all. If i had ever met her i know i could have never allowed this to happen. Oh one more thing that really makes this a dead end street i am 10yrs older than he is. Yep i know I am set for a heartache just need a kick in the *** i guess to get on with it. Easier to be with him and happy at the moment. I hate this i really do for many reasons but still i am here in this stupid mess. How to walk away??????? Please tell me how?? Then elevate your self-esteem to where it should be and know you are beautiful, and that you can fall in love with anyone you wish. Sexuality and lust are not love and easily mistaken in the rush of foolishness. Love is yours should you chose to seek it. All you have to do is open up your eyes and heart to you. |
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yes you are right there was the moment and i know it is wrong because she has no idea. I would like to keep it that way because like i have said i do not want to break up his family.
I t would be worse than the pain i feel now when i think o f never seeing him again. |
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well yes, I don't see why loving his wife should mean i have any less self respect. I have loved more than one person in my life. I would think others can too. But that is getting way ahead I don't know that he loves me or that I love him. I just know i cant get enough of him and he consumes my thoughts. I am keeping my options open but nothing out there interests me. He does. The first of the last 5 i have dated that really excites me in so many ways. I get all what you are saying i just don't have those same issues with monogamy as most. I feel if 100% honest and open then and trust is the key that it is ok to have another occasionally especially if one is not feeling up to filling the needs of the other. I know when i was married and my ex had really been on my nerves and then would want sex I would have given him my blessing to go somewhere else for a while. Im just saying. sounds more like obsession than love,, to be honest with you you can love him without having sex with him, and I think if you dont know for a fact his wife is aware of and ok with this arrangement,, than honesty is not a part of this equation, nor is respect. |
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The movie fatal attraction comes to mind.
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well yes, I don't see why loving his wife should mean i have any less self respect. I have loved more than one person in my life. I would think others can too. But that is getting way ahead I don't know that he loves me or that I love him. I just know i cant get enough of him and he consumes my thoughts. I am keeping my options open but nothing out there interests me. He does. The first of the last 5 i have dated that really excites me in so many ways. I get all what you are saying i just don't have those same issues with monogamy as most. I feel if 100% honest and open then and trust is the key that it is ok to have another occasionally especially if one is not feeling up to filling the needs of the other. I know when i was married and my ex had really been on my nerves and then would want sex I would have given him my blessing to go somewhere else for a while. Im just saying. you don't know if you love him? what? why are you toying with this then? get out before you are the reason for the break up of his marriage and his family. i can pretty much promise you that his wife will not feel the same way about the whole monogamy thing as you do now and it is obvious that it means nothing to him. |
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Wasn't looking for it, did not want to, not sure how it slipped up on me. The sad truth is I have fallen for someone that belongs to someone else. I don't want to break up his family. I do still want to spend as much time with him as possible. I know this has no happy ending just wish i knew how to let go. I try and date others but he is the only one that captures my attention. I am so confused. I know you people here will not hold back on your opinions and looking forward to hearing what you have to say. Is it possible to have a happy ending when in love with a married man that you want him to stay with his wife but still want him as a lover, friend etc.... 
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frankly... *sigh*
your posts lack consistency on most points except for one, you want sex with him... you started off sayin' you love him, then by page 2 you say you dont love him, yada yada... but you just want him all the time... you say you don't want to hurt his family, but you already have... you take no repsonsibility for your own actions... until you get the help you need your life will always be like this.... good luck to you.... $.02 
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Honey;
you set yourselfup for a shitload of hurt!! You got yourself in you get yourself out! 
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I really dont understand all this self worth mumbo jumbo. I don't see that my self respect has anything to do with falling for a married man. My moral judgment may be lacking but I have never been a conformist. I should demand more of someone i have relations with???? Well that would be great but like i said in the beginning I wasn't looking for this kind of friendship i never thought in a million years i would have fallen for this guy. Now that I have it just keeps snow balling out of control. I just hope he puts a stop to it soon. I am too weak for him so maybe he will do the right thing. I am willing to bet he will. I am telling you he is really a nice guy.
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maybe but really the sex is just average. I mean I have had much better. I think it is his personality that has me whipped. He makes me smile all the time. He never bores me.
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I really dont understand all this self worth mumbo jumbo. I don't see that my self respect has anything to do with falling for a married man. My moral judgment may be lacking but I have never been a conformist. I should demand more of someone i have relations with???? Well that would be great but like i said in the beginning I wasn't looking for this kind of friendship i never thought in a million years i would have fallen for this guy. Now that I have it just keeps snow balling out of control. I just hope he puts a stop to it soon. I am too weak for him so maybe he will do the right thing. I am willing to bet he will. I am telling you he is really a nice guy. hope HE puts a stop to it??? Your to weak?? WTF!!!???? Put your big girl panties on and fight your fight Don't leave it for him!! He's having all the fun whe your whining about it WTF?? Be a strong woman! (hugs and kisses)
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no i did not goodguy say that i loved him or that i didnt love him. I said i have fallen for a married man. He has a hold of my heart. I don't know if i love him or if i am in blinding lust with him. So please dont put words in my mouth. I may have a hard time expressing myself but dont need words added to my confused mess. thank you.
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I really dont understand all this self worth mumbo jumbo. I don't see that my self respect has anything to do with falling for a married man. My moral judgment may be lacking but I have never been a conformist. I should demand more of someone i have relations with???? Well that would be great but like i said in the beginning I wasn't looking for this kind of friendship i never thought in a million years i would have fallen for this guy. Now that I have it just keeps snow balling out of control. I just hope he puts a stop to it soon. I am too weak for him so maybe he will do the right thing. I am willing to bet he will. I am telling you he is really a nice guy. If your self worth and self esteem were fine you would not be condemning yourself and stating "MY moral judgement may be lacking, but I have never been a conformist. In this statement alone you say you lack moral judgement showing a belief in conformity, then say you do not believe in conformity, which leads me to believe you may nnot know yourself or even that you maybe needing a move toward positivity about thy innerself........these are your words and what I am getting from them. |
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Edited by
AGoodGuy1026
on
Wed 08/18/10 12:45 PM
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Is it possible to have a happy ending when in love with a married man that you want him to stay with his wife but still want him as a lover, friend etc.... But that is getting way ahead I don't know that he loves me or that I love him Hmmmmmm..... you said both *sigh* $.02
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wtf?????? he is not having all the fun. Hell why do you think i am in it??? It is because i enjoy every minute with him. I am having just as much fun as he is maybe more. I enjoy pleasing him and he likes pleasing me. This is not a one way street. That is why it is sooooo hard to walk away. Has not anyone here ever been in this type of relationship or triangle.?????
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