ditto

I mean what ever happened to taking personal responsibility? Generally speaking have we as a society, fallen so low that principals, honor, and common decency have been so easily cast aside by the "I want it so I deserve to have it" way of thinking????

To the OP,,do what you want...but dont think you are fooling anybody but yourself...

Somebody sure got their 15 min of fame.

hee hee..I was thinking the same

See. Here is what I don't get. You KNOW it is wrong. You have admitted this. Ok, so if you know it is wrong, then why the hell do it? Seriously.....why???? You like this dude that much to not only put yourself in this position, but to also put him and his wife through it? Can you not see how vain you are coming off as? I can find a woman, who is married, attractive. But I also know how to not make myself feel anything more than a friendship with that person.

About people being "uptight". Well, if we were all as loose as you, then hey....I guess the world would be full of free love.

Yes i agree and thought i had expressed that once before . Maybe not but yes i agree that is what makes it wrong is that she has no clue. At this point I dont see the need for her to know if it ends soon. Really I hope she never has to find out because what good would it do? I just hope i am able to walk away and not let him tempt me. I know for it to end we have to cut all contact of any kind. The more days that pass the better it will feel. We have tried but one of us is always caving in. . I never said i was perfect but i do know there are worse than me out there.

i

You are missing the whole point of the book and what it attempts to teach. The entire idea of being honest and open would illuminate the unsuspecting woman thing. If you trust and know where the heart is and where it will return maybe if 1 or 4 times in a life time you should be allowed to have a relationship with the opposite sex and yes god forbid even have sex with them.

WOW A WORLD FULL OF FREE LOVE.????? Is that what you are afraid of????? Damn I could think of far worse things that could happen. Why do it?? Have you ever been so in lust or crazy for someone you would do almost anything to be with them??? I think it is safe say you haven't. No matter how terrible you think i a. That feeling is like nothing else . Vain me not at all remember earlier i had no self respect you all said. I almost feel sorry for you if you havent felt that way for someone. Maybe because you ARE TOO UPTIGHT . just a thought. lmao

you see its in my nature. I never know when to stop. lol

"In lust". You said it. "In lust". I haven't been just "in lust" with someone. I have lusted yes. I think all of us have. But this thread is about how you are trying to justify your own lustful actions, when in all honesty there isn't any justification. The dude is married. Get a clue.

You can judge me all you want. Others here will tell you that it won't do any good. I simply say my peace and move along. I'm not trying to get on your good side. You asked for opinions. I gave you mine. So, to recap. You think I am uptight, and I think you are. Have a nice day, and may the force be with you.

tHis women makes no friggin sense

she talks outta both sides if her mouth

maybe if ya shot your thoughts

your words

through your mouth normally

you'd have a perspective on things

and understand what most here are trying to tell you!

I quite agree. I have a very dear friend that is also married that I am crazy about but I have just been a good friend to him. I have suggested to him to go to marriage counselling to try and save his marriage which of course is the right thing to do but can't help having feelings for him.

Been there; done that. I learned my lesson and WOULD NEVER allow myself to date a married man again.... He's not going to leave his wife! Better yet! Present him with this: "I love you. I want to be with you.... Please leave your wife." Nip it in the butt! You're defining your life based on his needs and not what you want, which his him; and, that you'll never have. Ask for what YOU THINK YOU WANT; SEE WHAT YOU GET.

People don't frown on married men having affairs; but, they do frown on single women having affairs with married men. Just the way it is. I dated a married man for over a year. There is NO happy ending for you. You're single; he's not. When you finally reach a point where you don't want to share him anymore, you will give him an ultimatum.... you already know the answer. It won't be you. You're asking for advice on this matter because you are trying to justify your actions as I once did. Don't try to justify it or make excuses for having an affair with a married man. He captures your attention because he belongs to someone else. Women like a challenge. You will be alone for the holidays; and, other special occasions; he will be with his family, which is where he belongs. When you give him an ultimatum, he WILL walk and you will wished you'd ended this a very long time again.... He will move on to the next woman willing to settle for less; and, you will be left broken heart wondering why you wasted all this time, energy and focus on a situation that was destined to fail in the beginning. But, maybe you need to just simply live the experience to learn as most of us do in every day life. Whatever you do, I wish you well. You will live to regret continuing to see him if that's what you decide to do.

My opinions based on my experience. And, you're right. When you post something of this nature, the responses are not going to be good. I did that once upon a time.... It was vicious.
I was trashed. Take my advice and others here.... stop it now.... Dating a married man is like talking about politics or religion. People have very strong opinions. You simply need to have enough self respect to SAY NO. It may be hard; but, you'll get through it. Please email me if you need to talk.

You hope? You are a grownup ... you decide and you do...hope doesn't even enter the equation. Hope sounds to me like an escape clause when you cave in. Hope sounds like you don't have any control over yourself. You do ... you exert self control all the time. When you cross the line it doesn't just happen ... along the way you decided ... sometimes it is little decisions along the way ... sometimes just one big one but make no mistake... you decide.

Best

Tell you how to walk away? Does he have children? Spend one day looking at those kids looking at their dad..then IF you are any type of woman, you won't want to keep this relationship going. OR just hide and watch how he reacts to his wife, is he a loving man? When he looks at her do you see love in his eyes? If you do, then you are going to realize that this is a man who wants his cake and eat it too.
YOU CAN NOT BE MARRIED AND CARRY ON A LOVE AFFAIR WITH SOMEONE ELSE!! How is that fair? Everyone is getting only half the person in the end...is this really what you want? IF SO, good luck on that and I hope you learn to love holidays by yourself because you will have many.
Plus you met when he was married SO if he did break up with his wife, could you really trust him? He is always going to be looking for someone else to have on the side. Let me tell you a little secret, you are probably not the first and you probably won't be the last. He just shot down a lot things like...
INTEGRITY
MORALS
FAITHFULNESS
HONESTY
TRUSTWORTHYNESS
AND THAT IS JUST TO NAME A FEW!! BUT THEN AGAIN, WHAT TYPE OF A WOMAN WANTS TO BE WITH A MARRIED MAN??? DO SOME SOUL SEARCHING BEFORE ITS TO LATE

I want to start a new relation.... preferably with a married woman careless n free with no bondages.... Lets seperate ethics support and responsibilities from relations and then everything will be great

Wow.... lots of opinions all over the board here. The one thing I agree with for sure.. NO HAPPY ENDINGS!

The reason he is even cheating on his wife is because there is something wrong with there relationship. NOT JUST HIS FAULT. It takes TWO!! Never the less, he's not happy and is looking for something to fill that! Does he want out of the marriage? Maybe? Will he leave his wife? always a chance, but VERY, VERY slim. And if he ever did, and you two were still carring on with your relationship, then the chances of you two working out is next to none!! Starting a relationship on those terms, those conditions... ya... not looking good!

As hard as it is, you need to suck it up, and cut all contact! I will tell you right now.. HE WON'T. He's getting the best of both worlds. And don't try to come accross as "feeling bad for the wife" or one of you two women sharing this guy does not bother you. If you feel that stongly about him, then why would it be ok? And if he tells you there relationship is soooo bad that they don't even have "sex" anymore.... Personally, I would call ********!

Bebbygrrl, you're not getting any sympathy 'cuz you DON'T DESERVE ANY. Is that clear enough? You CHOSE to screw a MARRIED guy KNOWING he was MARRIED. If you get 'hurt' now, no one cares. Period. The fact that you AND he are also going to involve INNOCENT PEOPLE - his family - really sucks. No one wants to hear any more of your selfish little rant about non-existent 'love' or that 'life is short' crap. Take it outside. No one cares - you did this to yourself and you refuse to listen to anyone who dares to disagree with you. Sympathy ... ? Ha. I'm waiting for you to discover HE's cheating on YOU ... and him to find out you're doing the same to him ... it'll be SO poetic ...

If you want the married man to remain with his wife, but still want him as a lover, etc.....this would make you his mistress. The married man will be in his glory, as this is a "perfect" scenario for him. Remains with wife, and has you as his side dish.

If your idea of a "Happy Ending" is this, then more power to you.

Wow Kings_Knight... if this thread upsets you so much, maybe just don't read it? Don't think you need to be mean? Certainly give your opinion by all means! or say "you don't care"... but no need to speak for everyone else by saying "No one Cares". Also... it really sucks the kids are caught in the middle, however, do you know this guys wife? You talk about her like she's soooo innocent? how do you know that? How do you know SHE'S not out screwing everything that moves? Point is, if a marrige is at this point, it's NOT ONE SIDED! Is it wrong? absolutely. But no need to basically tell her to just go screw off? Is that how people have helped you in the past when YOU made mistakes? or... you have just never made any mistakes?

Dbl I agree with all that you've said except "The reason he is even cheating on his wife is because there is something wrong with there relationship. NOT JUST HIS FAULT. It takes TWO!! Never the less, he's not happy and is looking for something to fill that!"

IF he's not happy he should leave and THEN date/have sex, whatever you want to call it.. But as long as he's with his wife he in NO WAY should be cheating no matter she does UNLESS he has her blessing which obviously by LA's posts he does not... I don't think anyone's point here is that the wife is without blame.. Their point is "take care of your problems first, the right way.. Then do what you want".. In case there is confusion on the right way it is to "be single"...