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| Topic: Receiving Gifts | |
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A gift, like a compliment is just the other person's way of doing or saying something nice for you. I finally learned that when you don't accept either of them graciously, you are taking the pleasure away from the other person's kind gesture. It's really about both parties giving and receiving. What about respecting a person's right to not receive gifts? So, I have to pretend to like gifts to appease them? Isn't that being dishonest? No, no, because its the thought that you are grateful for, ya? But that is exactly that; I am not greatful; I resent it. You resent people thinking of you? I resent people giving me gifts. If they were thinking of me; they can say it in words not gifts. |
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I would love it if someone gave me a GMC Yukon Denali XL black in color, I wouldn't even mind if it was a couple yars old. I gave you a white one..you threw the keys in the ocean!! 
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So you would NOT want a diamond ring/necklace/earings, a framed picture of the 2 of you, a nice robe, tickets for a cruise/show/anything. Gifts usually aren't given to prove possesion, but to show how much someone thinks of you or how deep their feelings are for another. If someone constantly complained about the gifts I chose to give her,as in they were totally worthless to her; I wouldn't stay around long. I would see that as a reflection of how she felt about me. Just MY opinion. So, you are saying love can be bought. Why buy me a jewelry when I won't wear it. I want something like a cruise or a robe; I am capable of buying it myself. Why can't someone show their feelings by saying I love you; holding my hand, hugging me? Why does a price tag have to be attached to loving someone? Its sad to see you would feel worthless because someone doesn't attach gifts to love. |
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A gift, like a compliment is just the other person's way of doing or saying something nice for you. I finally learned that when you don't accept either of them graciously, you are taking the pleasure away from the other person's kind gesture. It's really about both parties giving and receiving. What about respecting a person's right to not receive gifts? So, I have to pretend to like gifts to appease them? Isn't that being dishonest? No, no, because its the thought that you are grateful for, ya? But that is exactly that; I am not greatful; I resent it. You resent people thinking of you? I resent people giving me gifts. If they were thinking of me; they can say it in words not gifts. Both are nice to get. Matters not whether money was spent on ways we show people we love them. If your preference is for no gifts -- then so be it! |
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People give gifts as a way for you to show that someone cares for you. I know the hugs and words mean more but you can't put a hug on your mantle and show it to friends who come over. 
So, you are saying that love needs to be displayed on a mantle? Why? Isn't a hug a "display" of affection and love? It just isn't one that everyone can see when you and your loved one aren't together. A person gives a gift to let you and others know that you mean something special to someone, the hug is to let just you or only those watching know. Maybe (and this is just a question ) people who don't want gifts from loved ones, don't want to get close for fear of getting hurt? (Not meant to single anyone out, just a question)
Nope; I can feel close to someone who doesn't buy me a gift. I had a relationship with a man that never gave or bought me a gift and it was wonderful. If he hadn't started drinking; I would be married to him now. |
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So by the same token, do you not ever GIVE gifts either then? No, I don't give gifts; I give to charities instead. |
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I would love it if someone gave me a GMC Yukon Denali XL black in color, I wouldn't even mind if it was a couple yars old. I gave you a white one..you threw the keys in the ocean!!
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I apologize right now if this offends anyone, but it sounds more like you are not allowing a person to be who they are but insistant that they accept you and your wishes? Relationships are about compromise, in everything.
I enjoy buying gifts for people I know and care for. I might see something and say 'wow, K was really wanting this, I'll surprise her' or buying a really nice pen set because he likes nice pens. You feel how you feel but if you are in a relationship, you really have to allow the other person to be who they are also. Do you accept gifts from family or friends? If you do, then perhaps you might want to reveal to yourself why this makes you so uncomfortable. |
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So by the same token, do you not ever GIVE gifts either then? No, I don't give gifts; I give to charities instead. Well good for you. To each their own!  I personally LOVE giving gifts and receiving ain't bad either! 
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I apologize right now if this offends anyone, but it sounds more like you are not allowing a person to be who they are but insistant that they accept you and your wishes? Relationships are about compromise, in everything. I enjoy buying gifts for people I know and care for. I might see something and say 'wow, K was really wanting this, I'll surprise her' or buying a really nice pen set because he likes nice pens. You feel how you feel but if you are in a relationship, you really have to allow the other person to be who they are also. Do you accept gifts from family or friends? If you do, then perhaps you might want to reveal to yourself why this makes you so uncomfortable. This is NOT directed at the OP, but I have come across lots of ppl that have a really hard time accepting kindnesses, in whatever form. Could it possibly be that they feel unworthy and have self-esteem issues? |
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I apologize right now if this offends anyone, but it sounds more like you are not allowing a person to be who they are but insistant that they accept you and your wishes? Relationships are about compromise, in everything. I enjoy buying gifts for people I know and care for. I might see something and say 'wow, K was really wanting this, I'll surprise her' or buying a really nice pen set because he likes nice pens. You feel how you feel but if you are in a relationship, you really have to allow the other person to be who they are also. Do you accept gifts from family or friends? If you do, then perhaps you might want to reveal to yourself why this makes you so uncomfortable. No, I don't accept gifts from family or friends. If someone wants to buy my gifts; I will end up giving them away. Relationships are about compromise and if my S/O wants to give his family and friends gifts; I would not oppose that. He can give hundreds of gifts; I just don't want any for myself. Is that such a bad thing? |
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I apologize right now if this offends anyone, but it sounds more like you are not allowing a person to be who they are but insistant that they accept you and your wishes? Relationships are about compromise, in everything. I enjoy buying gifts for people I know and care for. I might see something and say 'wow, K was really wanting this, I'll surprise her' or buying a really nice pen set because he likes nice pens. You feel how you feel but if you are in a relationship, you really have to allow the other person to be who they are also. Do you accept gifts from family or friends? If you do, then perhaps you might want to reveal to yourself why this makes you so uncomfortable. No, I don't accept gifts from family or friends. If someone wants to buy my gifts; I will end up giving them away. Relationships are about compromise and if my S/O wants to give his family and friends gifts; I would not oppose that. He can give hundreds of gifts; I just don't want any for myself. Is that such a bad thing? No, of course it's not a bad thing. I think that we're just trying to understand why you feel this way and maybe even encourage you to see things from the giver's perspective, that's all. |
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I give gifts to myself ALL THE TIME, makes it hard for anyone else to get me anything when I already have it
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I give gifts to myself ALL THE TIME, makes it hard for anyone else to get me anything when I already have it
Why should we buy ourselves gifts? Because we deserve them, that's why! |
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Just curious as to how others react to receiving gifts. I don't like to recieve gifts at all. I always tell others not to give me a gift but rather donate money to the homeless. A guy I was dating dumped me because I refused his gift of flowers. To me, I would rather he spend time with me and not spend money one me or making a gift for me. I feel like he was trying to buy my love rather than taking time to talk and be with me. To me the best gifts are whats in your heart; a hug; an "I love you". I don't need flowers or any other gifts to show someone loves me or cares for me. Why can't men accept that I am fine without gifts? What are your thoughts? I think you have just won my heart ... |
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I give gifts to myself ALL THE TIME, makes it hard for anyone else to get me anything when I already have it
Oh, I have a gift for you. I'm sure you don't already have. 
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I give gifts to myself ALL THE TIME, makes it hard for anyone else to get me anything when I already have it
Oh, I have a gift for you. I'm sure you don't already have.
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I give gifts to myself ALL THE TIME, makes it hard for anyone else to get me anything when I already have it
Oh, I have a gift for you. I'm sure you don't already have.
That's the same thing you told me! 
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I apologize right now if this offends anyone, but it sounds more like you are not allowing a person to be who they are but insistant that they accept you and your wishes? Relationships are about compromise, in everything. I enjoy buying gifts for people I know and care for. I might see something and say 'wow, K was really wanting this, I'll surprise her' or buying a really nice pen set because he likes nice pens. You feel how you feel but if you are in a relationship, you really have to allow the other person to be who they are also. Do you accept gifts from family or friends? If you do, then perhaps you might want to reveal to yourself why this makes you so uncomfortable. No, I don't accept gifts from family or friends. If someone wants to buy my gifts; I will end up giving them away. Relationships are about compromise and if my S/O wants to give his family and friends gifts; I would not oppose that. He can give hundreds of gifts; I just don't want any for myself. Is that such a bad thing? No, of course it's not a bad thing. I think that we're just trying to understand why you feel this way and maybe even encourage you to see things from the giver's perspective, that's all. Agreed and the giver needs to see things from my perspective too. Its not like I am denying that person affection of love; I just don't need a gift for the proof of that. |
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