Toay I received the sweetest most thoughtful present from some of the chilren at my school; it was a heart shaped stone they found. They did not spend any money but I can tell you, I appreciate it so much.

everyone has their opinion, and thats what these forums are for... she never asked anyone to buy or get her anything, she simple doesn't want anything from anyone. i very seriously doubt anyone on this website would ever be in a position to buy her anything, and if they are, now they know they don't have to... nothing get get upset over, like a few of them did. sorry, ruth, a few people did cross the line. i'm not sure why this post wasn't shut down, but i guess the staffers had their reasons not to.

Just a couple more thing on my thoughts to the OP. I have received a gift occasionally from a man that I had no feelings for, or he was taking things too seriously. At that point, I felt a tad of what you are describing, a little angered or being put on the spot. I was raised with gentle manners and thanked the person but gave the gifts away to people I knew would appreciate them (a jeweled bracelet 2x). I even attempted to not take them but saw the hurt in their eyes, so obliged.
The other thing is, I have received gifts from people that have since passed on, my mom for instance. I treasure those gifts for they bring back, good memories and love that had been put on the shelf. Some day, when you do find someone you really care for, your thoughts may melt a little on this idea. All our actions really stem from something that happened to us at one time or another, perhaps you might want to figure out what it is that makes you feel it is alright for your feelings to be the only ones that count when there are 2 involved?

I understand where you are coming from but if a person truly cares for me; he will respect my wishes to not buy me a gift. What you are saying is my feelings don't count when someone wants to give me a gift. Shouldn't it be a two way street? My memories are held in my heart and in photos; they don't need to be placed on a mantle.

You're correct. There is nothing to get upset over. The OP is allowed to voice her opinion, just as anyone else here is allowed to do the same. It should go both ways. Unfortunately, there will always be some immature people who can't handle others' opinions.

What would be the compromise? This is really important in a relationship. Without it, you just butt heads forever.

Well, that did happen to me. I made a dinner for an ex-boyfriend and he didn't want it. So, I let it go. Why would that bother me? If a person doesn't appreciate what I do for them; I wouldn't get upset; that would be childish on my part. After all I must practice what I preach. Guess as I said earlier; I have thicker skin than most. The problems in the world are also caused by greed and lack of respect for each other. I find if you don't conform; people think you are a bad person. I thought we had freedom; I didn't realize Capitalism meant others could dictate to you what you can or can't accept. My family and friends truly love me as they abide by my wishes. The man that dated me obvisouly didn't love me enough to respect my wishes so its just as well we parted ways. I suppose it could be worse that I demand a man buy me gifts as some women do. Yes, I did ask opinions and yes I have read the other side of the coin but I don't have to agree with it. I was just trying to understand why the guy dating me overacted by dumping me when I said I didn't want gifts. He never actually bought it but mentioned it. I guess some people feel the need to give gifts to justify love but its not for me.

The compromise would he could make dinner, do the dishes, help me with renos, take a walk or bike ride with me, spend less time at work; or just turn the damn tv off to spend time with me to talk. The list is endless. Right now a friend of mine called me up to have a cup of coffee as he knew I got dumped and wanted to offer a shoulder. Now thats what I call a real gift; not store bought, not made, but truly from the heart. However, if my relationship doesn't work; the so be it. There are worse things in life than living the rest of your life alone.

And what if your friend buys you that cup of coffee? Isn't that considered a gift?

IMO, if a guy was giving you a gift just so he could plop his azz on the couch and not pay attention to you...the problem there isn't the gift but the louse sitting on the couch.

Not really as I have bought coffee for the friend. Its just an exchange; sometimes he buys, sometime I buy. Its just more convenient for one to buy rather than each of us waiting in line for coffee or to buy. But you are correct; about the louse on the couch. Met way too many of them and then when we have a disagreement; they throw the fact that they bought you a gift in your face and think I ask too much for a decent conversation.

Moe, I'm sending you a copy of Pontypool

well, ok... but don't expect anything in return for it, i'm not that kind of guy...

be sure to include the extra dvd about how they made it and the interviews too, it wouldn't be complete without that.

It's the deluxe 4-disc Special Edition with Pontypool action figures.

it's like a dream come true!

Well folks; thanks for your input. I am out of here but feel free to chat among yourselves. I was just trying to understand why this guy got so upset over this and you do make valid points. Will I change my mind about how I feel; absolutely not but I will make it a point to be upfront with anyone I should meet in the future. I did mention it to the last guy but maybe he didn't take it seriously. Oh well, lesson learned.