hope your mood picks up c. I was diagnosed with BP when i was nine...i'm 24 now and feel worse than ever right now. been somewhat traumatized recently and i been off my meds for well over a year.

Amber - Sounds like you may need to check in with your doc again Amber, may be time to get back on your meds. Sorry about your trauma, things like that always screw up our heads. Why don't you try your meds again, it may make you feel better. I hate to see anyone suffer. You deserve to feel better. Take care of yourself.

Cute - I am glad to hear you are exercising. I have been working on that too, but has been hard. My depression has me just plain exhausted all the time. I hope the exercising works for you and makes you feel better and gets your panic attacks under control. Trazodone can be potent, try cutting the 1/2 pill in 1/2 and maybe 1/2 again, that might work. I have used it before, it does make sure you sleep, that is for sure. Keep up the good work, determination and hard work will win out. Take care.

Karen, I just bawled my eyes out for a couple of years. I would cry so much I would just make myself sick. I remember when I would sign in and all I could say was I was here but couldn't cope. I can remember thinking God this sucks. Try to type with my eyes just full of tears. Talked to this widow who had been through what I had. She just cracking one joke after another. I would be there just bawling my eyes out and laughing my ass off. I thought I was going to go stark raving mad. Then I had the high highs and the low lows. It was like a roaster coaster of emotions I would go through. One lady at a grief share meetings who went through something similiar said it was almost like pms. I would ask friends in my meetings if this **** ever gets any better. They assured me it would. Working with people who have went through the same thing has really helped. The grief ball is like all of your feelings and emotions wrapped up tight like a rubberband ball. I had to sort each one out separately and own up to it. It feels good to laugh today. I remember when I couldn't.

Marie, I asked her if she could upload via our two yahoo addresses. She asked me whether she wanted her to come see me or me to come see her. It is a six hour drive to where she lives. She cut the distance to half as far as she was from me. It is a six hour trip. I am thinking of making the trip to see her. The price of gas, the shape of my car and just taking the time off to go see her is weighing on my mind.

Jax, this is almost the longest time I have ever went not being married. I have had a lot of time to think about three of my marriages. I think I just took the first one for granted. I think I expected too much out of the second one and had some unrealistic expectations. The third one after a while started actually to work out pretty good all things considered. I had learned some stuff from the first two to the same woman. By the time the third one came around I think I was actually doing some real maturing. Yeah, if you don't laugh once in a while one really can go mad I think.

im kinda mad this morning.. i went up to my gas station where ive worked and loved and the new manager made me feel like crap. we are havinga meeting so the people get to know her tonight and cause im and her quote quitting.. i have to sit and run the register. excsue me. i was the person who didnt have a life for the past 2 months cause i was always up at the store helping out and it feels like it just didn't freaking matter cause i happened to find a different job. i didn't have to take 2 weeks notice i could of just started my new job right away and knew wether or not it was right for me...

That really says something good about your character that you gave two weeks notice even though you have to deal with the new manager and staying long enough that I take it the new employee that will be replacing is given enough time to be trained. Sounds like to me that they will be losing a good employee. Not everybody gives two weeks notice. Many when disatisfied with a job will just pick up the pay and leave. I am sorry that you have to give up a joy that you loved but I hope the new job works out better for you, Jeff.

well it just feels to me that the last 2 months of me pulling 10-12 hr days and stuff doesnt matter and that makes me upset.

I wouldn't blame you for being upset. That is upsetting. It invalidates all your hard work that you have done when you went the extra mile to work overtime for the gas station. I know it would piss me off, too.

talked to my new boss. kinda took it wrong.. i was half away and she said it in a inproper way. from the sounds of it she knows shes losing something good

Of course Jeff, you are something good!

Sorry I haven't been around much. School, tired and depressed is getting to me. The meds are changed, so it will take a bit of time b4 they kick in.

Going on a road trip today, and kinda scared, but excited too. Please pray the we get back in once piece ok? This is a dangerous stretch of road and a lot of cops. Please God don't let me get a ticket, but I do have cruise control so will be using it as much as possible.

Everyone have a great TGIF


Love ya all,

Karen

I know about taking things the wrong way, Jeff. I was proud of myself. I remembered how to change out a circuit breaker. I took it down to the hardware store and they checked it out. It was good which means the dryer is bad. 30 amp circuit breaker is only about 10 bucks; Dryers cost more. I thought I would get away cheap this time; No such luck. Like the deal on the couch that Mom gave to the church cost me 20 bucks which said if she had known sooner I could of got for free she told me she just gave my sister a dryer. Man, I got to get a crystal ball so I can tell when things are going to go bad. Mom said she will get my sister's husband to get his truck to give me a dryer out my grandmother's old house. But before I left she said clean up that house so that when they come over that they can just put the newer dryer in. Atleast she didn't pick on my hair this time or ask me if I forgot how to shave. I tell you I get no respect.

thanx marie.i havent excercised the last two days cause it has rained(not THAT dedicated lol)but i do want to be in better shape.Also someone told me that excercise changes your mental health as well.we shall see.
roy your a hoot...
jeff its good you are moving on.i'm sure the new manager meant no harm.you are a good thing and good luck in your new job.

karen drive careful and have a great trip !!

Hey everyone, sorry I've been a bit out of it and haven't been posting much. I have been reading the posts, but as you all must know, sometimes it's better to just read.

The trip went well, thank you for all the well wishes.

Seems we have started a little support community. I think it is about time we have our own topic of support groups. I would like everyone to write Mike and Van to ask for this since it seems to be helpful and a nice place to come and identify, seek comfort (not pity) and help each other. And I mean this for all the support groups.

Whadda you all think?

i think it would be great.if i had a bra that supported me as much as this thread does,my boobs wouldnt fit in my car.you guys are great !!

LMAO I know exactly what you mean

todays my bday and im alittle down.. i wish i could just have a adventure or something for once. i went to get cloths at walmart for the new job then went to hardee's (carl jr.'s) for diner.....
just want something intreating to happen for once

happy birthday jeff!!adventures dont come to you,you have to seek them.jump into life !!omgod i sound like a depends commercial !!

YA but i just wish something exiteing would happen once. sorry to use such a nerd reference but i feel like luke skywalker.. some punk farmkid in the middle of nowhere

to jeff:

happy birthday!!!!!!!!!! don't feel bout the luke skywalker ref.......i feel ya pain

Luke....

I am his FATHER.....

really my son's name is luke.

Anarchy