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| Topic: Does seeing sombody as fat/ugly make me shallow? | |
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As long as you don't mind anyone who might think you are skinny and/or ugly. Not saying you are...just saying preference is preference and be prepared one does not appeal to all.
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I try to think of myself not as an optimist or a pessimist but a realist. I realize that if I do not find someone particularly attractive, then the relationship will not proceed anywhere romantically. It's just a matter of personal preference, really. Obviously, if somebody who is not "my type" messages me seeking just that, how do I let them off easily, without seeming shallow? Do you believe that such a preference makes me shallow? Perhaps it doesn't make you shallow, but it might make you a big loser. |
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I try to think of myself not as an optimist or a pessimist but a realist. I realize that if I do not find someone particularly attractive, then the relationship will not proceed anywhere romantically. It's just a matter of personal preference, really. Obviously, if somebody who is not "my type" messages me seeking just that, how do I let them off easily, without seeming shallow? Do you believe that such a preference makes me shallow? There is no way of "letting them of easily" when you're judging the worth of someone as a potential mate on what they look like. Yes, you are shallow. That coupled with being naive means you might just miss out on the person that completes you. |
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I don't like to see celulite or cankles on a lady, I like some nice smooth tone legs. I don't feel that makes me shallow its just a personal preference.
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Edited by
JustAGuy2112
on
Sun 08/09/09 01:13 PM
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I don't like to see celulite or cankles on a lady, I like some nice smooth tone legs. I don't feel that makes me shallow its just a personal preference. If the fact that they have cankles or a bit of cellulite on their legs is what causes you to determine whether they are worth talking to, that is shallow. Everyone has personal preferences. I prefer the women I go out with to be shorter than I am. But that doesn't mean I won't be friendly with a woman who is taller than me. I just wouldn't see her as date material for me. |
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don't be an asshat and tell them that you think they are fat and ugly. just say "thanks but i'm not interested." and leave it at that.
its not hard. gawd. LOL |
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I don't like to see celulite or cankles on a lady, I like some nice smooth tone legs. I don't feel that makes me shallow its just a personal preference. as humans are we naturally judgemental. so what you want in a woman is your choice. i personally judge men on their hammock sleeping ability.. you sir, are failing. but thats my opinion and it doesnt make me shallow for thinkin so :p |
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I try to think of myself not as an optimist or a pessimist but a realist. I realize that if I do not find someone particularly attractive, then the relationship will not proceed anywhere romantically. It's just a matter of personal preference, really. Obviously, if somebody who is not "my type" messages me seeking just that, how do I let them off easily, without seeming shallow? Do you believe that such a preference makes me shallow? THEN, in that case, to ME, you shouldn't SEE others as wanting to THINK or FEEL they are ugly or fat,,,, As I am a realist, and have come to HATE STERIOTYPED HEADINGS OR NAMES, formed by the opinions of people who call themselves a realist, but entertain the inner thoughts of pre-existing prejudices. So as to not be totally real with what everyone sees and feels.. Just my thoughts.. |
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I don't like to see celulite or cankles on a lady, I like some nice smooth tone legs. I don't feel that makes me shallow its just a personal preference. If the fact that they have cankles or a bit of cellulite on their legs is what causes you to determine whether they are worth talking to, that is shallow. Everyone has personal preferences. I prefer the women I go out with to be shorter than I am. But that doesn't mean I won't be friendly with a woman who is taller than me. I just wouldn't see her as date material for me. Yeah, I think we need to make a distinction there. I'll be friends with practically anybody -- but I'm not planning on dating anybody. Two completely different sets of "standards." And I've been called "shallow" plenty of times because of my stated deal-breakers as listed in my profile. And I'm OK with that. Call me anything you want; as long as the books are moving it's all just publicity....! 
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I don't like to see celulite or cankles on a lady, I like some nice smooth tone legs. I don't feel that makes me shallow its just a personal preference. If the fact that they have cankles or a bit of cellulite on their legs is what causes you to determine whether they are worth talking to, that is shallow. Everyone has personal preferences. I prefer the women I go out with to be shorter than I am. But that doesn't mean I won't be friendly with a woman who is taller than me. I just wouldn't see her as date material for me. Yeah, I think we need to make a distinction there. I'll be friends with practically anybody -- but I'm not planning on dating anybody. Two completely different sets of "standards." And I've been called "shallow" plenty of times because of my stated deal-breakers as listed in my profile. And I'm OK with that. Call me anything you want; as long as the books are moving it's all just publicity....!
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No, it doesn't make you shallow at all. Despite all the heckling you're getting here, 90% of the people on this site WILL judge someone based on their photo and will NOT take the time to read their profile to see if they're a worthwhile person. If someone sends you a message just being friendly and you are rude to them or ignore them, that's uncalled for. But you can't have a successful romantic relationship if you're not attracted to the other party. This is real life, not beauty and the beast, and people have preferences with what they do and don't find attractive. As to your other question (which has gone unanswered), be polite but clear. "I'm not interested in dating but we could be friends"... something along those lines. Very well said. 
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I don't like to see celulite or cankles on a lady, I like some nice smooth tone legs. I don't feel that makes me shallow its just a personal preference. If the fact that they have cankles or a bit of cellulite on their legs is what causes you to determine whether they are worth talking to, that is shallow. Everyone has personal preferences. I prefer the women I go out with to be shorter than I am. But that doesn't mean I won't be friendly with a woman who is taller than me. I just wouldn't see her as date material for me. Yeah, I think we need to make a distinction there. I'll be friends with practically anybody -- but I'm not planning on dating anybody. Two completely different sets of "standards." And I've been called "shallow" plenty of times because of my stated deal-breakers as listed in my profile. And I'm OK with that. Call me anything you want; as long as the books are moving it's all just publicity....!
Speaking of books....has your agent managed to get you into any American book chains yet??? lol |
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shallow? I dont think you HAVE that luxury. Id just say mean, cold. Not attractive things. You are referring to other living human beings, who have feelings, and emotions in a really sick way. Not a way to win friends. You dont get anywhere downing others to bring yourself up. Its cowardly. I mean fat? ugly? Would you like it if people referred to you as stupid? I have to say you have i valid point. Some if not most of us are too concerned with trying to find someone, that we forget we have to make friends with someone before we attempt to have a relationship with someone. Friendship seems like such an over looked relationship. My best advice to you about being shallow, at least try to have a conversation with someone before you judge looks. While you may not be physically attracted to them you may find other things in common. And having shared interests can lead to a great and maybe lasting friendships. You wont be lonely during you search for the right person for you. I have some really attractive friends on and offline. Good luck to you in your search. |
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I don't like to see celulite or cankles on a lady, I like some nice smooth tone legs. I don't feel that makes me shallow its just a personal preference. If the fact that they have cankles or a bit of cellulite on their legs is what causes you to determine whether they are worth talking to, that is shallow. Everyone has personal preferences. I prefer the women I go out with to be shorter than I am. But that doesn't mean I won't be friendly with a woman who is taller than me. I just wouldn't see her as date material for me. Yeah, I think we need to make a distinction there. I'll be friends with practically anybody -- but I'm not planning on dating anybody. Two completely different sets of "standards." And I've been called "shallow" plenty of times because of my stated deal-breakers as listed in my profile. And I'm OK with that. Call me anything you want; as long as the books are moving it's all just publicity....!
Speaking of books....has your agent managed to get you into any American book chains yet??? lol He's actually working on the Asian market right now -- his wife is from over there, maybe she has connections? I don't know, maybe I can set it up so all my characters get to fight Mothra or something.... |
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I don't like to see celulite or cankles on a lady, I like some nice smooth tone legs. I don't feel that makes me shallow its just a personal preference. If the fact that they have cankles or a bit of cellulite on their legs is what causes you to determine whether they are worth talking to, that is shallow. Everyone has personal preferences. I prefer the women I go out with to be shorter than I am. But that doesn't mean I won't be friendly with a woman who is taller than me. I just wouldn't see her as date material for me. Yeah, I think we need to make a distinction there. I'll be friends with practically anybody -- but I'm not planning on dating anybody. Two completely different sets of "standards." And I've been called "shallow" plenty of times because of my stated deal-breakers as listed in my profile. And I'm OK with that. Call me anything you want; as long as the books are moving it's all just publicity....!
Speaking of books....has your agent managed to get you into any American book chains yet??? lol He's actually working on the Asian market right now -- his wife is from over there, maybe she has connections? I don't know, maybe I can set it up so all my characters get to fight Mothra or something.... Heyyy...I was keeping that battle for MY book. DAMMIT!!! Now I gotta find another monster. Maybe Hydra....hmmmmmm |
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I try to think of myself not as an optimist or a pessimist but a realist. I realize that if I do not find someone particularly attractive, then the relationship will not proceed anywhere romantically. It's just a matter of personal preference, really. Obviously, if somebody who is not "my type" messages me seeking just that, how do I let them off easily, without seeming shallow? Do you believe that such a preference makes me shallow? My personal belief is that sheer preference does not make you shallow. Sheer preference merely means you're human. What I always tried to do was to make it very clear, in my profile, what I was looking for and what I was NOT looking for. If they read my profile, they would already know whether they would qualify or not. If they didn't read my profile and wrote anyway, and it was clearly a mismatch, I would then refer them to my profile. You should never judge a book by its cover. You can miss alot that life has to offer by doing that. Just saying..... 
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Be real; while defineing someone as fat or ugly may not be the most tackful terms, everyone has a right to preferences without being labled shallow.
Shallow is people who pretend to have higher ideals and waste people who they are not attracted to time, feelings, and effort building a friendship in hopes that it will "overcome" a basic disinterest. Tip toeing around responding to someone is cruel. It is much kinder to give a direct prompt response that "I do not consider us a match" and shut up. It is false to suggest you can be friends or wish them luck. At least respect them enough to just get out of the way and let them move on. |
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Honesty. It's such a lonely word.........
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Honesty. It's such a lonely word.........
[/quote yes but, sorry seems to be the hardest word  |
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No, it doesn't make you shallow at all. Despite all the heckling you're getting here, 90% of the people on this site WILL judge someone based on their photo and will NOT take the time to read their profile to see if they're a worthwhile person. If someone sends you a message just being friendly and you are rude to them or ignore them, that's uncalled for. But you can't have a successful romantic relationship if you're not attracted to the other party. This is real life, not beauty and the beast, and people have preferences with what they do and don't find attractive. As to your other question (which has gone unanswered), be polite but clear. "I'm not interested in dating but we could be friends"... something along those lines. <-------is the other 10% I don't give a rat's arse what you have for a picture...your cerebral mutterings are MUCH more attractive... |
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