IMO
I have to be optimist and think that a young man like you, seemingly intelligent, relatively polite, would not pass up the opportunity for a wonderful relationship with a young woman because of weight. I do not disagree that first impressions are vital, but that does not mean that someone you initially find unattractive, cannot become someone you are very attracted to. I believe that because I have experienced it. But, if you really, really don't believe, under any circumstances, that you can be attracted to a heavy woman, put that in your profile. If I read that, I don't contact someone in a romantic way. If it's in your profile and someone inappropriate contacts you, either don't respond and delete the email or respond and say you are not attracted to large women. The result will be the same either way. If they persist, block them. Plain and simple.
Good luck in your search!

Preference (also called "taste" or "penchant") is a concept, used in the social sciences, particularly economics. It assumes a real or imagined "choice" between alternatives and the possibility of rank ordering of these alternatives, based on happiness, satisfaction, gratification, enjoyment, utility they provide. More generally, it can be seen as a source of motivation. In cognitive sciences, individual preferences enable choice of objectives/goals.


Okay...let me point out one sentence in particular: It assumes a real or imagined "choice" between alternatives and the possibility of rank ordering of these alternatives, based on happiness, satisfaction, gratification, enjoyment, utility they provide.

See...preference is which alternative you would CHOOSE first...not that you eliminate all the alternatives to your preference- which is what seems to have fanned the flames on this topic.

I have to agree though that your maturity level probably has something to do with this.

Amazingly well written and well said. Now I wish I know this much.. I guess I was wrong, there are some posts on mingle that are worth to read.

I don't see you as being shallow, you want what you want!

I don't get why people freak over the word fat... what else do you call it? There is no sugar coating the truth! I was talking to a guy last week who told me he likes plump girls... I cracked up laughing, just say I like fat girls! I'm fat and I know it, who cares! Also, who cares if someone thinks I'm ugly, there are others out there who disagree!

oh yeah, a "no fat chicks" statement on a profile will really go over well on mingle. come on now, man!

Not everyone on mingle would think to write "no fat chicks" and not everyone on mingle would be offended by someone stating their preference. Why does that preference have to be insulting?

I don't think it's insulting, mainly because I'm not overweight. I've just noticed that a lot of people take issue with not being someone's preference. I know they sure get mad at me when I reject them.

This is SO true -- whatever flak I would get about my profile always came from 48-year-old women with 4 kids who were irate over the fact that I said I wasn't interested in dating anybody with kids.

It seems that some people can't make the distinction between "I'm not interested in Type A" and "Type A is a horrible disgusting thing that should be eradicated from the face of the earth." They act like it's a personal attack on THEM, individually, if you just happen to mention that their particular type is not what you're looking for.

It's a personal preference, nothing more.

And if people CHOOSE to feel insulted over someone else's personal preferences, that's THEIR problem.

This is SO true -- whatever flak I would get about my profile always came from 48-year-old women with 4 kids who were irate over the fact that I said I wasn't interested in dating anybody with kids.

It seems that some people can't make the distinction between "I'm not interested in Type A" and "Type A is a horrible disgusting thing that should be eradicated from the face of the earth." They act like it's a personal attack on THEM, individually, if you just happen to mention that their particular type is not what you're looking for.

It's a personal preference, nothing more.

And if people CHOOSE to feel insulted over someone else's personal preferences, that's THEIR problem.

I try to think of myself not as an optimist or a pessimist but a realist. I realize that if I do not find someone particularly attractive, then the relationship will not proceed anywhere romantically. It's just a matter of personal preference, really. Obviously, if somebody who is not "my type" messages me seeking just that, how do I let them off easily, without seeming shallow? Do you believe that such a preference makes me shallow?

I don't like to see cellulite or cankles on a lady, I like some nice smooth tone legs. I don't feel that makes me shallow its just a personal preference.

Get over yourself dude...even young skinny and pretty girls have cellulite. Even most of your skinny and air-brushed women have it. It is a woman thang and can't much be done about it.
My little 17 year old niece is all of 100lbs and she has it...we were just talking about it the other day. Jeeeze...most men have some kind of stretch marks and fat on them somewhere as well as cellulite. At your age good luck with women and your physical desires. Just saying...not being mean...

It's official, you rock!

Thank you!

no reply is usually a good indication of your lack of interest.

if you don't know the person, nor want to get to know them, who cares if you appear shallow to them anyway?

i've found that, regardless of the response you send, a 'rejection letter' is almost guaranteed to receive further mail in the form of some insult. no reply prevents that.

I try to think of myself not as an optimist or a pessimist but a realist. I realize that if I do not find someone particularly attractive, then the relationship will not proceed anywhere romantically. It's just a matter of personal preference, really. Obviously, if somebody who is not "my type" messages me seeking just that, how do I let them off easily, without seeming shallow? Do you believe that such a preference makes me shallow?