What do you do when your world collapses back inside itself?

When you lose someone so very dear to you?

When you watch a family howl and scream with pain?




What do you do? How do you put your grief aside to support someone else?








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I used to be pretty sorted with this stuff...

I'm gutted...I got nothing....

Two kids, and a woman left standing alone...just like that, their daddy dead, her husband, her rock, her love, gone.

The pain is physical....I'm furious, I want to tear something to shreds, or someone!

And I'm no good to anyone like this....and shell shocked people keep gathering here...

I am hiding in a corner...

what the f*ck is that? I'm furious, at myself... suck it up girlfriend!


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How do you manage your grief?

I just bawled for what seemed forever. For the longest time I didn't put it away. Just something I lived through.

I tend to be a shoulder to cry on. An ear that will listen. An arm that will bring comfort. A silent someone when needed. A piano player when you need to drift away. A humous person to lift the spirit. A hand holder when you need the comfort. These are some of the things I do to get through my grieve or down days. Helping or bringing comfort or joy to others gives comfort and joy to me. That is the way I get through grieve, sorrows and pain

Cry privately, if at all and later, not sooner.
Watch mindless TV, eat, smoke, drink even more coffee if that is possible, sleep more.
Mostly go numb.

Sorry

I tend to cry by myself.. but suck it up around people. For some reason when others lose it, its easier for me to keep calm.

If its my own personal greif, I drown it in work or something, take it in smaller doses till its more manageable, then I finish it off...

I'm sorry, too..

I have never been able to deal with grief. I can only let it run its course.

Life is usually stronger than grief.

I have never been able to help someone else with their grief. I can only be there when they are ready to live again.

One thing I know... the words 'sorry bout your loss' gets WAY irritating real quick.

Each of us feels it in a different way.

All I can say is.

Can I help in some way?

Pleasure myself & lots of sleep

i am a silent person in grief. i dont talk to many people,, if i do wind up crying,, i do it alone where no one will bother me. for the world though i just go about my buisness as nothing is wrong

..i become standoffish..i sit away from everyone,..and grieve within..i dont cry..and then i silently walk away.. like a ghost...

I withdraw and cry a lot. But there comes a point when you can laugh and smile at the awesome memories some day with bittersweet feelings.

Hey Jess,

grief is our own. There is no one we can give it to, or nothing that can replace it.

I am still dealing with it to date. It is a part of me that I have accepted.

It is there on my beckons call. I have befreinded grief. for it is in the loss that I have become whole.

i would say that you need to find your own rock to lean against before being someone else's.
i personally bottle mine up and take on the support role to try to alleviate some of the grief that others feel. i treat it as it's my responsibility. i accept the loss and move on. i know it sounds cold, but it's just the way i handle things.


. . .

Lean on us Jess.....we are here for you. Just as adventure said, if there is something I can do from Ohio, I'd do it in a heartbeat.


p.s. That's a powerful piece of writing you just did there. You have a gift for getting your point across. A journal might help with your grief.

I simply do what must be done in every situation.

There's plenty of time to reflect when you're exhausted at the end of the day. If we waste our energy dwelling on the things that have happened to us or others, we only make matters worse when we could have shown a light on them.

Jess
There are no words that comfort -- I have walked in those shoes and know the pain. I was young when both my parents died suddenly (18 months apart) and I drank my way through the grief which was not the answer either. I too, wanted to know "WHY" -- why was this happening to me, why is my Higher Power doing this to me, -- why, why, why. I never got an answer. I then had to accept the situation and let the fragile bond of love go that once was my parents physical existance in my life and understand that I will never know why.

I'd like to think that maybe God needed them more than I physically needed them here on earth -- maybe that's a real stupid answer to give you Jess, and maybe I'm simple and stupid too -- but that's the only real answer I have to get through something like this. Maybe they are with me right now while I'm going through this difficult part of my life and guiding me to not pick up another drink. I just don't know --

If there is anything, anything at all I can do for you -- I'm here.

Love and Light
Peace and Love to you Sister

I just live through it

Keep myself occupy

Break down , release pain

Wipe the tears off

Get up and live another day

I'm really good at it as I have lost my brother and have those memories to fall back on.

I remember what it was like for me and I share the experience with those that need to hear. I make sure they know it is alright to feel all the things they may be feeling and give all the support and understanding mixed with compassion and empathy I can muster.

I also try to help them see that it is good to celebrate the one that has passed.

In the end we are mourning our loss not their passing so this helped me a great deal.

How do you deal with grief?

One card at a time.

I just go to my room,pray and meditate. I used to turn to drugs and drinking, but prayer and meditation seem to be working for me now.

Jess,

I'm very sory but beating yourself up for not sucking it up will get you know where. The road ahead is hard and long but you are one strong babe and every day you will get stronger. Some days you will cry, some days you will rage, everyday you will be there for your daughters helping them too.

You are stronger than you know. We all have faith in you and are here for you to lean on. Wrap yourself in the warmth of your memories and let the tears flow. We're here to catch you.