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| Topic: How do you deal with grief? | |
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What do you do when your world collapses back inside itself? When you lose someone so very dear to you? When you watch a family howl and scream with pain? What do you do? How do you put your grief aside to support someone else? ***************************************************************************** I used to be pretty sorted with this stuff... I'm gutted...I got nothing.... Two kids, and a woman left standing alone...just like that, their daddy dead, her husband, her rock, her love, gone. The pain is physical....I'm furious, I want to tear something to shreds, or someone! And I'm no good to anyone like this....and shell shocked people keep gathering here... I am hiding in a corner... what the f*ck is that? I'm furious, at myself... suck it up girlfriend! ********************************************************************************* How do you manage your grief? 
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Long walks, introspection, physical work, time.
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May I share their story?
A family, a husband , a wife, a daughter, a son... The husband... a delightful rogue, a biker, gruff, tell it how it is kinds man, no bullsh*t or niceness about him...(one of my heroes)he had the biggest heart of anyone, but not a trumpet blower, Blue just got on with it..if he saw me struggling, he'd punch me in the arm, and tell me to suck it up. The wife...what a woman! Her fierce determination, her unshakable faith in herself, she created an incredibly successful business here, on her own...she did it... with Blue's blessing, (and many a back rub!)..it sold on Friday...after five long years of hard work, she sold her business, it settled Friday. The daughter...what a blend of the two! A young force to be reckoned with! I have watched her bloom froma kind quiet young girl, into this amazing young woman. The son...his last year of high school, a state champion with his football, was only required to finish his senior year at school, before entering the Big league. A lug of a bloke, built like a brick sh*thouse, like his dad, a soft hearted lad also. The wife was so excited... she hugged me Friday, and told me Saturday was the beginning of the rest of her's and Blue's life, they have been togather since teenagers...they'd done it! They were financially free! Kids, almost grown...she was like a teenager about to go on a date, with a man she has loved forever..a date that was going to last a lifetime. Blue had a massive stroke on Sunday, on his way to watch his son play footy....aged 49....a healthy giant of a man...a non smoking, quiet drinking, fit man. Gone. Gone. |
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I know how angry you are -- this beautiful story has made me angry too. Bad things happen to good decent people -- I don't get it either why this happens -- it sucks Jess and I feel your pain.
Light and Love Sister 
We are all here
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Thankyou.
Thankyou for your compassion, your empathy...your hearts. It can feel at times, we are alone in these harsh times, of personal challenges...emotion, in the form of words, by people who have never touched you, walked alongside you, sat with you...reminds me, I am never alone. Thankyou.
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Thankyou. Thankyou for your compassion, your empathy...your hearts. It can feel at times, we are alone in these harsh times, of personal challenges...emotion, in the form of words, by people who have never touched you, walked alongside you, sat with you...reminds me, I am never alone. Thankyou.
Jess -- I've walked this path -- but when the heart is full of love and compassion for other's, no one is ever alone. Where there is love, there are memories -- the beautiful lives this wonderful man touched through the eyes of a loving wife and children and friends like you, who have made a difference. Remember something, you may be on the other side of the world, thousands of miles away from me -- but my heart feels your loss and my arms are holding you close so you can be strong for your friend who needs your strength and love. Peace Jess
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May I share their story? A family, a husband , a wife, a daughter, a son... The husband... a delightful rogue, a biker, gruff, tell it how it is kinds man, no bullsh*t or niceness about him...(one of my heroes)he had the biggest heart of anyone, but not a trumpet blower, Blue just got on with it..if he saw me struggling, he'd punch me in the arm, and tell me to suck it up. The wife...what a woman! Her fierce determination, her unshakable faith in herself, she created an incredibly successful business here, on her own...she did it... with Blue's blessing, (and many a back rub!)..it sold on Friday...after five long years of hard work, she sold her business, it settled Friday. The daughter...what a blend of the two! A young force to be reckoned with! I have watched her bloom froma kind quiet young girl, into this amazing young woman. The son...his last year of high school, a state champion with his football, was only required to finish his senior year at school, before entering the Big league. A lug of a bloke, built like a brick sh*thouse, like his dad, a soft hearted lad also. The wife was so excited... she hugged me Friday, and told me Saturday was the beginning of the rest of her's and Blue's life, they have been togather since teenagers...they'd done it! They were financially free! Kids, almost grown...she was like a teenager about to go on a date, with a man she has loved forever..a date that was going to last a lifetime. Blue had a massive stroke on Sunday, on his way to watch his son play footy....aged 49....a healthy giant of a man...a non smoking, quiet drinking, fit man. Gone. Gone. Ohhhh Jess
What a painful reminder to live every day ... I have a bad habit of putting my life on hold for some later date that never seems to come ... I feel the kick in the ass... If ever there is a time to feel gutted ... this would appear to be it girlfriend. What is so wrong with that? ... why must you suck it up? Sometimes support comes in the form of someone to cry with... This is a devastating blow to all who loved him. Feel what you feel ... it is the only way to process and it is the shortest path ... I am so sorry ... My love and arms to you ... I am never far!
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I'm not sure myself....
but i heard an interesting quote on dealing with grief: "Grief is falling to pieces, then putting the pieces back together in a different way." |
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What do you do? How do you put your grief aside to support someone else? ***************************************************************************** I used to be pretty sorted with this stuff... I'm gutted...I got nothing.... Two kids, and a woman left standing alone...just like that, their daddy dead, her husband, her rock, her love, gone. The pain is physical....I'm furious, I want to tear something to shreds, or someone! And I'm no good to anyone like this....and shell shocked people keep gathering here... I am hiding in a corner... what the f*ck is that? I'm furious, at myself... suck it up girlfriend! ********************************************************************************* How do you manage your grief? In my darkest, deepest stages of grief, I felt all that you are feeling...the physical pain, the anger, the helplessness and the guilt. Like I was on a rollercoaster rolling from one emotion to the next...none of them good. Thought I was losing my mind. The biggest comfort to me during that time did not come from those who 'sucked it up'. Maybe it's just me, but the most comfort came from those who shared my grief...those who echoed my feelings and were able to put those emotions into words for me...those who cried with me...those who said, "I know..." It helped me to feel less alone and to believe that my thoughts were real, honest and very sane. Perhaps you, too, are comforting more than you know just by sharing in the grief? Sending a hug, my sincerest sympathy and some validation to you and those you care about who are grieving...I know what you... |
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Thankyou. Thankyou for your compassion, your empathy...your hearts. It can feel at times, we are alone in these harsh times, of personal challenges...emotion, in the form of words, by people who have never touched you, walked alongside you, sat with you...reminds me, I am never alone. Thankyou.
No, you are not alone...
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((((((((((((
J E S S)))))))))))
I am so very sorry to hear about the loss of your dear friend, Jess.
My heart and prayers are with you , in your time of grief and sorrow.
I soooo understand about loss.
(((( Extra Special Hugs from the Heart)))))))
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Pleasure myself & lots of sleep  PATS,i'm just curious...is pleasuring yourself your answer for everything and if it is,more power to you be seeing you
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((( Jess ))))
In your time of pain your Grief your loss your sorrow The never understanding of Whys!! I offer you Love & Light to heal your spirit Strength to build upon those many moments shared between two souls and Faith that time will help you heal rejoice and sing his praise outloud every minute of the day And in the silence of the night Cry, scream and let it pour freely upon the midnight sky Rejoice lovely one,,, Rejoice 
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I'm trying to figure out how to deal myself right now. My Dad died a year ago, now I'm in the middle of a divorce with young kids to worry about. Wish I had some advice, but right now I'm looking for answers too. I just joined this site in hopes of meeting some new people. Maybe that will help, but for now this is a conversation I need too.
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I'm trying to figure out how to deal myself right now. My Dad died a year ago, now I'm in the middle of a divorce with young kids to worry about. Wish I had some advice, but right now I'm looking for answers too. I just joined this site in hopes of meeting some new people. Maybe that will help, but for now this is a conversation I need too. Sorry to hear of your loss and the fall of your marriage,, I don't think there is set in stone way to deal with loss or pain of any kind,, I think we as individuals need to find a balance a place of calm in our lives in order to push through the pain the bad and then move forward,, keeping the good memories within us and letting go of the bad,,, I wish you much happiness in your life,,,, |
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that sucks and it breaks my heart reading that...
i usually over exercise and lose my appetite. i just try to keep myself busy. |
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Just be there with the person, help them do the everyday things that they need to and help them process; it is very much an individual thing.
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What do you do when your world collapses back inside itself? When you lose someone so very dear to you? When you watch a family howl and scream with pain? What do you do? How do you put your grief aside to support someone else? ***************************************************************************** I used to be pretty sorted with this stuff... I'm gutted...I got nothing.... Two kids, and a woman left standing alone...just like that, their daddy dead, her husband, her rock, her love, gone. The pain is physical....I'm furious, I want to tear something to shreds, or someone! And I'm no good to anyone like this....and shell shocked people keep gathering here... I am hiding in a corner... what the f*ck is that? I'm furious, at myself... suck it up girlfriend! ********************************************************************************* How do you manage your grief? |
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Jess,
You will all have to grieve, and it is natural. Anger is a very big part of that process. It is what we do when we get angry that makes it right or wrong. As TB said, being there for the family, remembering all of the great things about this great man, and working through it together will help you process your emotions. The faster that you process through all of the emotions in the grieving stage will help set you feet on the road to recovery, for your heart, your mind and your spirit. My prayers, thoughts, and love, go out to you and his family. God bless
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I'm trying to figure out how to deal myself right now. My Dad died a year ago, now I'm in the middle of a divorce with young kids to worry about. Wish I had some advice, but right now I'm looking for answers too. I just joined this site in hopes of meeting some new people. Maybe that will help, but for now this is a conversation I need too. Hi, Rets. My thoughts, prayers and love go out to you as well. God Bless, Meg |
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