Yesterday, my girlfriend and I are driving down the road, enjoying the nice weather and all, when I hit her with this question.

"Why is it that MOST women say that they do not want the "bad boy" anymore, and that they want a nice guy....BUT...when the nice guy shows up, they still go for the bad boy?"

Seriously. If you say you want one thing, and yet you go for the complete opposite..then can't you see how that sends mixed messages people? And, before you ladies jump up and shout that men do the same thing (which some men do send mixed messages) remember this is a question about why women do it. I am not trying to accuse here. Or pass judgment. Simply thought I would put this out here for us to discuss.

I think most women want the "bad guy" look with the "nice guy" personality...just my opinion.

Cheers, I've been confused almost 40 years about that

And that is the typical response I have heard before, and I do believe that women want that. But, still....don't freaking say you want a nice guy and don't want the bad boy, and then go out and....date the bad boy. How about this? Say, "Yeah, I want a nice guy trapped inside the image of a bad boy." Is that so hard?

Not at all...and I didn't say.."I" was looking for, I said most. And I have found that a lot out there want to date the bad boy...but maybe want the good guy for keeps. I do understand how you feel.

I think we just want a balanced person.

Some guys that say that they are 'nice guys' are whiney. Girls hate whiners!!!!!

We just want someone that is firm on their beliefs but respectful of other's beliefs/opinions/etc.

Does that make sense?

Define bad boy please

I actually speak for alot of men when I say this...."Women want guys to be up front and honest. Don't you think we expect the same in return? If you want goofy, funny, kind of good looking, sexy (to some)and overall a guy that will treat you real nice, then act like that is what you want". Not directed at you Kim. Just saying this in general. Now excuse me, as I go get on my Harley and ride out and kick someone's ass just so my lady will appreciate me.

I'm a nice guy.

That wants to take over the world and rule it with an iron fist.

In my opinion, some people is not "sure" of what they REALLY want, so, they SAY something but it´s just the first thing coming to her mind and not the truth...

What was her answer?

Tanya states my mind exactly. Nice guy does not mean living at the florist and cooking gourmet meals every night. Bad boy does not mean drunk and rowdy bank robber wanted in 12 states.

I think most women like someone who can be thoughtful without being asked to be, but can break the speed limit now and then too.

I see so many men walking on the black or white side of the fence, but few who seem to be able to jump back and forth anymore. All we want is someone who can jump the fence now and then.

I can't jump high enough...keep falling over to the other side, then I'm stuck with a broken leg over on that side until it heals.

Ever hear of a LADDER, smart azz?

(((Fear))) you are too much!

Perfectly said....

Grey areas are much more interesting!

So, in other words, you want the perfect man huh? Nice guy who is also able to live a little on the edge? I hate to break this to you...but majority of nice guys do this already. You guys just can't seem to get passed the exterior part of it enough to see it. Just my humble opinion.

My girlfriends answer was she felt that women don't know if the bad boy is truly theirs, and as a result, they stay with them and put up with alot more cause it is like a cat and mouse game. She feels that if a woman has a man, and she knows she does, yet she becomes bored with him, then she is going to lose interest in him. Bad boys are often mysterious, and thus it intrigues women.

hey now, I didn't say perfect, just someone that is balanced

which I have found... so no worries about me

I think it's just basically that...a balance right? I'm always attracted to the fun goofy sort who can swear anyone down but if I bring him round my mum's he'll impress her with manners.
Honestly, if a guy cries more than I do theres issues. But if he was callous and just didn't care we'd have issues too.
Basically (I think) I'm trying to say that the unexpected badazz moments are hot, but over all, he's gotta be a good guy. Ya know, wear the white hat

It's funny. My lady prevents me from being the "bad boy". Well, except in the bedroom, but that is another topic for another thread.

And, I'm sorry, but alot of bad boys have more insecurities about them then nice guys do. At least I know my limits. Bad boys put on more of an act than nice guys do. Just my observation.

And before you ask, yes, I love bad women. Mine is good in so many ways, and bad in the ways that I want her to be. I never say I want a good, obedient woman who will worship me. I tell the truth. If you got back, and attitude...let's talk.