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| Topic: LEISURE JOHNNY'S BAR | |
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Well if you like that, a person walks into a bar and sees a basket full of money on top of the counter, so he walks up to the bartender and ask what's up with the money. The bartender says, "See that horse in the back" The guy says yea. Well if you can make him cry you win all that money. so the guy goes up to the horse and whispers in his ear. all of a sudden the horse starts to laugh and laugh. amazed by this the bartender gives the guy the money and the guy walks away. years later the guy shows up to the bar again and once again he sees a basket of money. so again he goes up to the bartender and ask what's going on. the bartender says that the prize is now to make the horse cry. so the guy goes up to the horse, but this time he takes the horse to the back room and when they come out the horse is crying and crying. intrigued by this, he finally asks the guy how he did it. the guy says well the first time i told the horse i had a bigger **** than he did and this time i showed him i did.
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Leisure Johnny puts in a 8 track of mixed 70s music. Although it is 2008 he is stuck to the funky music and begins to swing his hips around in his white 70's suit. "Nice music, Johnny, but dont ya think you should have a variety, I love that stuff, but we do have the jukebox." She grabs his arm on the dance floor...whispers, "do you want to scare people away" He swings hip off to the side as something cracks inside. He then takes a seat and drink a stale bottle of beer. "No I don't think I can hang like I use to!" Leisure Johnny replies. |
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Well if you like that, a person walks into a bar and sees a basket full of money on top of the counter, so he walks up to the bartender and ask what's up with the money. The bartender says, "See that horse in the back" The guy says yea. Well if you can make him cry you win all that money. so the guy goes up to the horse and whispers in his ear. all of a sudden the horse starts to laugh and laugh. amazed by this the bartender gives the guy the money and the guy walks away. years later the guy shows up to the bar again and once again he sees a basket of money. so again he goes up to the bartender and ask what's going on. the bartender says that the prize is now to make the horse cry. so the guy goes up to the horse, but this time he takes the horse to the back room and when they come out the horse is crying and crying. intrigued by this, he finally asks the guy how he did it. the guy says well the first time i told the horse i had a bigger **** than he did and this time i showed him i did. hooo! a classic!!!! |
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Well if you like that, a person walks into a bar and sees a basket full of money on top of the counter, so he walks up to the bartender and ask what's up with the money. The bartender says, "See that horse in the back" The guy says yea. Well if you can make him cry you win all that money. so the guy goes up to the horse and whispers in his ear. all of a sudden the horse starts to laugh and laugh. amazed by this the bartender gives the guy the money and the guy walks away. years later the guy shows up to the bar again and once again he sees a basket of money. so again he goes up to the bartender and ask what's going on. the bartender says that the prize is now to make the horse cry. so the guy goes up to the horse, but this time he takes the horse to the back room and when they come out the horse is crying and crying. intrigued by this, he finally asks the guy how he did it. the guy says well the first time i told the horse i had a bigger **** than he did and this time i showed him i did.  funny! 2 more need to laugh to get $1000!
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Well if you like that, a person walks into a bar and sees a basket full of money on top of the counter, so he walks up to the bartender and ask what's up with the money. The bartender says, "See that horse in the back" The guy says yea. Well if you can make him cry you win all that money. so the guy goes up to the horse and whispers in his ear. all of a sudden the horse starts to laugh and laugh. amazed by this the bartender gives the guy the money and the guy walks away. years later the guy shows up to the bar again and once again he sees a basket of money. so again he goes up to the bartender and ask what's going on. the bartender says that the prize is now to make the horse cry. so the guy goes up to the horse, but this time he takes the horse to the back room and when they come out the horse is crying and crying. intrigued by this, he finally asks the guy how he did it. the guy says well the first time i told the horse i had a bigger **** than he did and this time i showed him i did. hooo! a classic!!!! one more to go! |
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Edited by
Marleana
on
Wed 06/04/08 09:51 AM
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"Well Calli, Just passing through, on my way to the brig, to get ready: I have a new platoon coming in for basic training and ya know how it goes trying to show dogs new tricks. Can I get another brew and whiskey before I head out of here, thank ya (((snort)))"Sarg.Sally replies
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Flower boy walks in and hands over a bunch of roses that Johnny buys for a real cheap price. He then puts them in a cracked vase with some mucky water. Puts a small sign in front of it.
It reads: SPECIAL OFFER: A one time offer! Buy 5 roses for $20 and give them to your crush to raise your bar to 25% |
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<<<walks in, leaving a cloud of b/o in her wake........walks up to the bar and orders a budwieser select............wearin a gray shirt with the alarming pit stains...... Hot out ain't it? Anyway, check out what I heard the other day..... A preacher has this parrot that's always going to the hen house across the yard to get some action.....Preacher caught the bird and told him, "If I catch you in that hen house, I'm gonna pluck all the feathers off the top of your head and bring you into the church as an example!" The parrot didn't pay him any mind and a couple of days later was caught in the hen house having his way with the hens again.....The preacher had no choice but follow through the threat....... So the following Sunday, the parrot, bald as can be stands on the pulpit.....looks out towards the congregation and says: "Ladies on the left, gents on the right, and all you bald headed chicken f***ers UP FRONT WITH ME!" Calli starts to choke behind the bar, "All the comics in here, this is going to be one hell of a grand opening. I can see it now. All the guys are standing at the front of the church." she bends over and laughs her butt off. "Im Calli,,,what would you like my dear" can i get bud select.............please? |
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"Well Calli, Just passing through, on my way to the brig, to get ready: I have a new platoon coming in for basic training and ya know how it goes trying to show dogs new tricks. Can I get another brew and whiskey before I head out of here, thank ya (((snort)))"Sarg.Sally replies "I hear ya girlfriend, I mean really, the trainees can be a handful, if ya know what I mean?" she passes her another beer and double shot..."You may need more than this to whoop those littel soldiers in their play" she starts to put more beer on ice. |
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Edited by
smiless
on
Wed 06/04/08 09:54 AM
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<<<walks in, leaving a cloud of b/o in her wake........walks up to the bar and orders a budwieser select............wearin a gray shirt with the alarming pit stains...... Hot out ain't it? Anyway, check out what I heard the other day..... A preacher has this parrot that's always going to the hen house across the yard to get some action.....Preacher caught the bird and told him, "If I catch you in that hen house, I'm gonna pluck all the feathers off the top of your head and bring you into the church as an example!" The parrot didn't pay him any mind and a couple of days later was caught in the hen house having his way with the hens again.....The preacher had no choice but follow through the threat....... So the following Sunday, the parrot, bald as can be stands on the pulpit.....looks out towards the congregation and says: "Ladies on the left, gents on the right, and all you bald headed chicken f***ers UP FRONT WITH ME!" Calli starts to choke behind the bar, "All the comics in here, this is going to be one hell of a grand opening. I can see it now. All the guys are standing at the front of the church." she bends over and laughs her butt off. "Im Calli,,,what would you like my dear" can i get bud select.............please? Leisure Larry looks in the cooler and reaches at the very bottom to find a bud select. The expiration is over a year old but he twists the cap and slides it over to the customer anyway. |
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<<<walks in, leaving a cloud of b/o in her wake........walks up to the bar and orders a budwieser select............wearin a gray shirt with the alarming pit stains...... Hot out ain't it? Anyway, check out what I heard the other day..... A preacher has this parrot that's always going to the hen house across the yard to get some action.....Preacher caught the bird and told him, "If I catch you in that hen house, I'm gonna pluck all the feathers off the top of your head and bring you into the church as an example!" The parrot didn't pay him any mind and a couple of days later was caught in the hen house having his way with the hens again.....The preacher had no choice but follow through the threat....... So the following Sunday, the parrot, bald as can be stands on the pulpit.....looks out towards the congregation and says: "Ladies on the left, gents on the right, and all you bald headed chicken f***ers UP FRONT WITH ME!" Calli starts to choke behind the bar, "All the comics in here, this is going to be one hell of a grand opening. I can see it now. All the guys are standing at the front of the church." she bends over and laughs her butt off. "Im Calli,,,what would you like my dear" can i get bud select.............please? Leisure Larry looks in the cooler and reaches at the very bottom to find a bud select. The expiration is over a year old but he twists the cap and slides it over to the customer anyway. Calli looks at him with a frown, "That must be where the cold ones are, right?" |
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Seeing that Calli already served the bottle he takes the beer back and slams it down. |
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How about any tecates larry got any of those lying around
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A woman goes into a dentist’s office, and after her examination, the dentist says, “I’m sorry to tell you this, but I am going to have to drill that tooth.”
Horrified, the woman replies, “Oh, no! I’d rather have a baby.” To which the dentist replies, “Make up your mind, I have to adjust the chair.” Jerry H. |
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How about any tecates larry got any of those lying around Sorry my friend. I am short on cash, but in a few days I will have more stuff available in this bar. |
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Hi (((Everyone)))....got a few moments & thought i'd introduce myself...
Cool Katch is my name, but you can call me Cool.... hope to be fully operational in next couple days....can't be drinking alcohol now as i'm at work teaching....but thinking of ya'll 
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A woman goes into a dentist’s office, and after her examination, the dentist says, “I’m sorry to tell you this, but I am going to have to drill that tooth.” Horrified, the woman replies, “Oh, no! I’d rather have a baby.” To which the dentist replies, “Make up your mind, I have to adjust the chair.” Jerry H. 2 more to go!
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Hi (((Everyone)))....got a few moments & thought i'd introduce myself... Cool Katch is my name, but you can call me Cool.... hope to be fully operational in next couple days....can't be drinking alcohol now as i'm at work teaching....but thinking of ya'll
Welcome Cool Catch! We will be here waiting for you! |
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How about any tecates larry got any of those lying around Sorry my friend. I am short on cash, but in a few days I will have more stuff available in this bar. "Johnny, you silly, he wants a beer hun," |
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can i get a "sex on the beach" instead ?
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