Community > Dating & Relationships

Topic: Tool Man
hikerchick Joined Sat 12/22/07 Posts: 13206	Thu 05/08/08 05:15 AM
honestly Im getting to the point ill fix nothing . seems every time i put the broken peices back into place they take the new fixed version off to someone new hhmmm..looks like you are attracting damsels in distress who use you as a port it the storm before they move on. I know you can do better than that. I get that feeling myself . and TY

lilbity Joined Fri 04/04/08 Posts: 405	Thu 05/08/08 05:19 AM
so any one need anything fixed ??

FearandLoathing Joined Fri 12/28/07 Posts: 30121	Thu 05/08/08 05:19 AM
SNAP! Oh crap...

lilbity Joined Fri 04/04/08 Posts: 405	Thu 05/08/08 05:21 AM
SNAP! Oh crap... there goes another perfectly good mellon

FearandLoathing Joined Fri 12/28/07 Posts: 30121	Thu 05/08/08 05:22 AM
SNAP! Oh crap... there goes another perfectly good mellon It's still doable...give me a minute crash! dammit!

Lily0923 Joined Sun 12/02/07 Posts: 20429	Thu 05/08/08 05:23 AM
I don't try to fix everything but if your in a relationship then some want to try try and fix some things. I know a few men that if told, i'm sad, i'm not feeling good, my back hurts they say,and... what do you want me to do about it or well get over it. Is that the type of partner you want? There is a wide range between "get over it" and "here let me fix it". How about - "I am here to listen" I understand that and i am a good listener. At this point i'm wandering at what point is something suppost to be attemped to be fixed or what? If some one is sad,do you semply ask why and leave it at that,just go on to something else or what? I can only speak for myself but when I am upset or hurting I really only want people to listen to me. I don't want tons of advice from people trying to fix the situation. Just listen to me and let me talk until I figure out what to do. And if I need advice, I will ask for it. No, you can speak for me also.

Lily0923 Joined Sun 12/02/07 Posts: 20429	Thu 05/08/08 05:24 AM
If you are in a relationship with some one do you want that person to fix something,what is your desire from a mate? I want caring and compassion, but I don't want someone to dote on me, I don't expect them to "take care of me" I expect support, not domination.

FearandLoathing Joined Fri 12/28/07 Posts: 30121	Thu 05/08/08 05:25 AM
I don't try to fix everything but if your in a relationship then some want to try try and fix some things. I know a few men that if told, i'm sad, i'm not feeling good, my back hurts they say,and... what do you want me to do about it or well get over it. Is that the type of partner you want? There is a wide range between "get over it" and "here let me fix it". How about - "I am here to listen" I understand that and i am a good listener. At this point i'm wandering at what point is something suppost to be attemped to be fixed or what? If some one is sad,do you semply ask why and leave it at that,just go on to something else or what? I can only speak for myself but when I am upset or hurting I really only want people to listen to me. I don't want tons of advice from people trying to fix the situation. Just listen to me and let me talk until I figure out what to do. And if I need advice, I will ask for it. No, you can speak for me also. Good thing I'm not good at advice so I skip that step. But really I can fix stuff watch what I do with this melon and some ducktape...SLAM! Oh hell...

CleanBathroom Joined Thu 02/07/08 Posts: 5544	Thu 05/08/08 05:27 AM
If you are in a relationship with some one do you want that person to fix something,what is your desire from a mate? I want caring and compassion, but I don't want someone to dote on me, I don't expect them to "take care of me" I expect support, not domination. No domination??? BUMMER. I guess I really can't hit on you either.

smuflicker Joined Mon 08/06/07 Posts: 4019	Thu 05/08/08 05:27 AM
If you are in a relationship with some one do you want that person to fix something,what is your desire from a mate? I want caring and compassion, but I don't want someone to dote on me, I don't expect them to "take care of me" I expect support, not domination. I totaly understand. I only wanted to understand where you were comeing from. Not everything can be fixed by someone else.

Lily0923 Joined Sun 12/02/07 Posts: 20429	Thu 05/08/08 05:29 AM
No domination??? BUMMER. I guess I really can't hit on you either. That's a whole 'nother forum.... we did get permission for me to teach you a thing or two....

CleanBathroom Joined Thu 02/07/08 Posts: 5544	Thu 05/08/08 05:30 AM
No domination??? BUMMER. I guess I really can't hit on you either. That's a whole 'nother forum.... we did get permission for me to teach you a thing or two.... I have 2.5 weeks until lift-off so let's do this thing.

CleanBathroom Joined Thu 02/07/08 Posts: 5544	Thu 05/08/08 05:31 AM
I'll take "Great American Linguists" for $500 Alex. (see: Thread, This)

Lily0923 Joined Sun 12/02/07 Posts: 20429	Thu 05/08/08 05:32 AM
If you are in a relationship with some one do you want that person to fix something,what is your desire from a mate? I want caring and compassion, but I don't want someone to dote on me, I don't expect them to "take care of me" I expect support, not domination. I totaly understand. I only wanted to understand where you were comeing from. Not everything can be fixed by someone else. That's my point... in the movie "White men can't jump" Rozie Perez says "When I tell you I'm thirsty, I don't want you to get me a glass of water, I want you to say 'I too know what it's like to thirst'" Now that a stupid example, cuz quite frankly I wouldn't mind you getting me a glass of water. But when I say I'm sad/mad/angry/happy... those are my issues, and there is nothing you can do to "fix" it.

FearandLoathing Joined Fri 12/28/07 Posts: 30121	Thu 05/08/08 05:33 AM
If you are in a relationship with some one do you want that person to fix something,what is your desire from a mate? I want caring and compassion, but I don't want someone to dote on me, I don't expect them to "take care of me" I expect support, not domination. I totaly understand. I only wanted to understand where you were comeing from. Not everything can be fixed by someone else. That's my point... in the movie "White men can't jump" Rozie Perez says "When I tell you I'm thirsty, I don't want you to get me a glass of water, I want you to say 'I too know what it's like to thirst'" Now that a stupid example, cuz quite frankly I wouldn't mind you getting me a glass of water. But when I say I'm sad/mad/angry/happy... those are my issues, and there is nothing you can do to "fix" it. I do better at listening, not a very good public speaker...damned ataraxia.

smuflicker Joined Mon 08/06/07 Posts: 4019	Thu 05/08/08 05:34 AM
I can see that you are a very strong willed person Lily. I do think that i understand what you are saying. Everyone is their own person and sometimes you just need to have someone to listen to you, but there is more to it than that also.

hikerchick Joined Sat 12/22/07 Posts: 13206	Thu 05/08/08 05:34 AM
Well, here's the thing too, my ex-husband would try to "fix" my emotions and when he couldn't, he would get angry with me. Way to be supportive.

FearandLoathing Joined Fri 12/28/07 Posts: 30121	Thu 05/08/08 05:35 AM
Well, here's the thing too, my ex-husband would try to "fix" my emotions and when he couldn't, he would get angry with me. Way to be supportive. Useless...let evolution sort 'em out. But always keep dem goots me dear.

beachbum069 Joined Mon 04/07/08 Posts: 14325	Thu 05/08/08 05:36 AM
If you are in a relationship with some one do you want that person to fix something,what is your desire from a mate? I want caring and compassion, but I don't want someone to dote on me, I don't expect them to "take care of me" I expect support, not domination. I totaly understand. I only wanted to understand where you were comeing from. Not everything can be fixed by someone else. That's my point... in the movie "White men can't jump" Rozie Perez says "When I tell you I'm thirsty, I don't want you to get me a glass of water, I want you to say 'I too know what it's like to thirst'" Now that a stupid example, cuz quite frankly I wouldn't mind you getting me a glass of water. But when I say I'm sad/mad/angry/happy... those are my issues, and there is nothing you can do to "fix" it. I just got out of 15 years of "fixing" things. I'm trying to find someone that I don't have to fix things for. I'm not a Maytag repairman. I have NO desire to fix anything any more.

Lily0923 Joined Sun 12/02/07 Posts: 20429	Thu 05/08/08 05:37 AM
I can see that you are a very strong willed person Lily. I do think that i understand what you are saying. Everyone is their own person and sometimes you just need to have someone to listen to you, but there is more to it than that also. No, there's really not anymore to it... You chose the mood you are in.. no one else can do that for you. If I am in a bad mood and vent... I don't ever expect anyone to "do" anything for me to change it, because they can't change it for me, only I have the power to change it. It really is that simple.