I read an article that said men in relationships are more likely to be fit and healthy because their partners "nag" (they care enough to take an interest) them to go to the doctor's to sort out their physical complaints.

I certainly think the world would be a pretty dull place without both genders and their respective quirks.

I'm on minimum wage, so it certainly is better than I'm used to! When are you taking on? XD

Aw, these sad little souls will be emboldened to hear such horrific news! I can see a torrent of offers to be the shoulder to cry on coming your way... best of luck working past the creeps and such! Especially that guy that said something about killing you...

I remember looking it up out of curiosity the last time we spoke of it but I lot of the details slipped my mind. I know it was basically about health and safety. I probably would be more inclined to give it a go if it didn't involve a relocation... Maybe I should just live like a traveller... that would work, right?

And yet you're back! These poor guys won't know whether they're coming or going...

That's not what she's saying - simply that some issues arise as you enter a new relationship. It's not something you believe is caused by the new person, just that they're around when they appear.

The easiest example may be that a person is full of confidence at the start of the relationship, but in certain areas they lack confidence. That person isn't saying you're the root cause of their low self-esteem, but they need a bit of time building things up to a level where you're both happy.

@teebee: I went out in heels last weekend and didn't fall - shocking! I was dancing in them all night too. Strange how some times 'clumsy' doesn't exist. I have been known to fall over railings on nights out though.. It's pot luck.

@kartagane: I used to many, many moons ago. I used to some 'movement meditation' which helps when you have a busy life. I definitely need to get back to actually giving myself some time. I actually found art really helped. I wasn't much good at it, but weird how you can zone out and just focus on the little dabs of paint. I love being busy, I just hate feeling busy. Does that make sense?

@larsson: how long does it take for those cards to come through?

It just took a bit of 'listening' to what you were saying, but we got there in the end. My pleasure!

Ah, ok. I think I get you now. Kind of like if you think you trust the guy you're with, but something is said or done that takes you back to a time where you found a guy you used to trust had done something that hurt you? You can't plan for it, you don't know that something like that will rear its head, but it exists all the same. Not that you believe the new guy is doing the same thing, but you can't help worrying that that fear will return.

I usually have to run myself to the hospital. Last time I had to take the sling off to drive home. Can I still come and work for you now?

It certainly sounds like I'm not very "grounded". Clumsy clearly is something I naturally am, since I'm generally quite scatter-brained in public. I'm definitely very distracted and harassed as of late though, but I don't really think it's so much a December thing. The workplace is so full of negative energy and I'm constantly thinking of other things I want to do with my time... Not to mention a turbulent family life. I guess it's not really a surprise I'm getting injured.

I know what you mean, Crystal. I haven't personally been through the serious stuff myself but I've worked with lot of young people with PTSD, so I have a general understanding about some of the issues you may be concerned about.

The right guy will understand you're just opening up to him because you trust him and want to ensure he understands what he's a part of. How else will be able to support you, or at least know what your concerns are, if you're not able to share them.

I hope you find the guy you're looking for, when you're good and ready for him x

You have a point there - my username should give you an idea of my issues! haha.

Today I didn't even have time to be injured - hacked into my finger but I managed to bind one hand but carried on working with the other whilst clenching the injured one to stem the blood flow. My mother was asking about a first aider seeing to the injury and my response was: "I am a first aider - I dealt with it! I just worked at the same time".

@Jack: Let me know if you discover one! Could do with it...

@Paintecards: Yep - it doesn't look pretty. I've always said it's a good thing I didn't have aspirations to be a model as I'm covered in so many bumps, bruises and scars! Especially my hands.

@teebee: I can imagine we'd cause chaos if together! I'm very much like that too. I was the first one to break something at work, and I've continued to drop things since. I can't be trusted!

I often have a habit of going over on my ankle, slipping, tripping over grids (that's how I fractured my wrist as a kid), falling off curbs, got my bike stuck in a pothole as a kid and went over the handle bars and split my head open on a gate post...

It sounds like there's a lot of love still there, within the relationship but for some reason it's just not carrying through to the bedroom. Has sex become boring? Do you need to mix things up and make things more interesting? Is he actually able to 'get it up'? Does he feel aroused at other times?

Sometimes it's the pressure that can affect the situation. Particularly if you're talking about starting a family - is that what's worrying him? Try to work out exactly what the issue is and go from there.

Best of luck!

Would you believe I've never used it? I've heard so many people talk about how great it is, how some people even give various lessons etc via Skype, but I don't even know how it works. I think it has something to do with a camera... that's it. haha. Old before my time. I can't even work the tin opener at work! That's how crappy I am with 'technology'.

I managed to avoid any serious injuries for many years, until August this year when I broke my hand. That's healed now, I just have weakened muscles but I've been assured that will improve with regular exercise.

However, today I managed to hack into the side of my finger, half-way through my nail so that I have a large section of my finger pad that's very tender and has to remain bound up to prevent crap getting into it.

I'm beginning to think my clumsiness has returned! The dropping of things or tripping up is something that always seems to happen, but I hadn't been injured in years! I really thought I'd grown out of it...

How about you? Were you clumsy? Are you still clumsy? Or have you come up with any nifty tricks to rid yourself of the clumsy gene?

I think a lot of the time you don't know how it does affect you until you're in a new relationship. I usually leave large gaps between relationships ensure I've dealt with the issues I have before entering another. The main issue is confidence though, but that's something I can't really change over night. It's definitely a work in progress.

A brief example of what surprised me was in my last serious relationship (R) was how, when I came to a point where I really liked him, and we slept with each other for the first time, was that I was utterly convinced he was going to leave. That'd never happened before, and there wasn't any reason specifically why I'd think he would leave as my past relationships hadn't had anyone leave in that situation. It wasn't until I talked it through with R that we got to the bottom of feeling and that fear.

So, in answer to your question, I do believe you can only do so much on your own. As long as you are able to recognise that your current partner isn't the one who caused you pain, and they're given the opportunity to discuss that with you, you should be able to work past that. Obviously I've simplified it a lot and I'm sure your issues aren't that easy to just work through, but I do believe the most important part is feeling comfortable communicating your concerns as it's the only way they can help you through.

I thought as much. It's good to check in with the populace every once and a while just to see if I've lost touch with reality. Good to see I haven't. Yet.

There's nothing stupid about tell a guy he means something to you - that's pretty normal for a functioning relationship. It sucks he shat on that though. If it makes you feel better, I'll turn my back and pretend I didn't see it? Then it's as if you never did, right?

Random question about cheaters based on a friend request I've just received:

What are the odds that a man with a username referring to him being someone's hubby, who doesn't have a profile pic, who states he's moving to an area local to me when he's officially divorced, and that he's unable to inbox message me (I presume he's been intimate encounter messaging people since he can only invite me as a friend)... actually not being a cheat?