A little boy comes down to breakfast. Since his family lives on a farm,
his mother asks if he has done his chores. "Not yet," said the little
boy. His mother tells him no breakfast until he does his chores.
Well, he's a little pissed, so he goes to feed the chickens, and he
kicks a chicken. He goes to feed the cows, and he kicks a cow. He goes
to feed the pigs, and he kicks a pig.

He goes back in for breakfast and his mother gives him a bowl of dry
cereal.

"How come I don't get any eggs and bacon? Why don't I have any
milk in my cereal?" he asks.

"Well," his mother says, "I saw you kick a chicken, so you don't get
any eggs for a week. I saw you kick the pig, so you don't get any bacon
for a week either. I also saw you kick the cow, so for a week you aren't
getting any milk."

Just then, his father comes down for breakfast and kicks the cat
halfway across the kitchen. The little boy looks up at his mother with a
smile, and says
"Are you going to tell him, or should I?"

OLD VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long,
building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays
the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.

The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!

************************************************************

MODERN VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his
house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays
the summer away.

Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and
demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed
while others are cold and starving.
CBS, NBC, PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the
shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home
with a table filled with food. America is stunned by the sharp contrast.

How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper
is allowed to suffer so?

Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody
cries when they sing, "It's Not Easy Being Green."

Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where
the news stations film the group singing, "We shall overcome."

Jesse then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's
sake.

Nancy Pelosi & John Kerry exclaim in an interview with Larry King that
the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call
for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share.

Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity and Anti-Grasshopper Act
retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for failing
to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to
pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.

Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a
defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of
federal judges that Bill Clinton appointed from a list of single-parent
welfare recipients.

The ant loses the case.

The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of
the ant's food while the government house he is in, which just happens
to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he doesn't
maintain it.

The ant has disappeared in the snow. The grasshopper is found dead in a
drug related inci dent and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a
gang of spiders who terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Be careful how you vote.

cookie= a cook on a ship

Sew buttons on your butt!= old fashion long-underwear

booboo= kiss the pain away

((Denise)) Happy Birthday to the memory of your mother.

Thank u for reminding me to cherish all the memories I can still make
with my own mother. I hope I can continue to do so for a very long time.



I am looking foreward to the day when u,G and I can get together.

shhhhhhhhhhhh= quiet

code= incryption

I wonder what would happen if we treated our Bible like we treat our
cell phone?

What if we carried it around in our purses or pockets?

What if we flipped through it several times a day?

What if we turned back to go get it if we forgot it?

What if we used it to receive messages from the text?

What if we treated it like we couldn't live without it?

What if we gave it to our kids as gifts?

What if we used it when we traveled?

What if we used it in case of emergency?

This is something to make you go....hmm...where IS my Bible?
Oh, and one more thing. Unlike our cell phone, we don't have to worry
about our Bible being disconnected because Jesus already paid the bill.
And no dropped calls!

~~~~~~~

Today, upon a bus, I saw a girl with golden hair
I looked at her and sighed and wished I was as fair.

When suddenly she rose to leave,

I saw her hobble down the aisle.

She had one leg and used a crutch

But as she passed, she passed a smile.

Oh, God, forgive me when I whine

I have 2 legs, the world is mine.

~~~

I stopped to buy some candy

The lad who sold it had such charm

I talked with him a while, he seemed so very glad

If I were late, it'd do no harm.

And as I left, he said to me,

"I thank you, you've been so kind.

It's nice to talk with folks like you.

You see," he said, "I'm blind."

Oh, God, forgive me when I whine.

I have 2 eyes, the world is mine.

~~~

Later while walking down the street,

I saw a child with eyes of blue

He stood and watched the others play

He did not know what to do.

I stopped a moment and then I said,

"Why don't you join the others, dear?"

He looked ahead without a word.

And then I knew, he couldn't hear.

Oh, God, forgive me when I whine.

I have 2 ears, the world is mine.

~~~

With feet to take me where I'd go.

With eyes to see the sunset's glow.

With ears to hear what I would know.

Oh, God, forgive me when I whine.

I've been blessed indeed, The world is mine.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sorrow looks back,

Worry looks around,

Faith looks up.

Poet unknown to me, just thought I would share

in the machine= pistons

comb= style

These treasure's are ones that I will always hold dear. IGryph.

travel=cross country

Phew!!! does anybody else think it's hot in here?


I love it Babe.

A man was driving down the road and ran out of gas. Just at that
moment, a bee flew in his window.
The bee said, "What seems to be the problem"?
"I'm out of gas."
The bee told the man to wait right there and flew away. Minutes
later, the man watched as an entire swarm of bees flew to his car and
into his gas tank. After a few minutes, the bees flew out.
"Try it now," said one bee.
The man turned the ignition key and the car started right up.
"Wow!" the man exclaimed. "What did you put in my gas tank"?



Scroll down













Scroll down









Scroll down











The bee answered, "BP."

I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is
stalk them and hope they panic and give in...


I've learned that one good turn gets most of the blankets.


I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just
jackasses.


I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes
suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.


I've learned that whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.


I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others -
they are more screwed up than you think.


I've learned that depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.


I've learned that it is not what you wear; it is how you take it off.


I've learned that you can keep vomiting long after you think you're
finished.


I've learned to not sweat the petty things, and not pet the sweaty
things.


I've learned that ex's are like fungus, and keep coming back.


I've learned age is a very high price to pay for maturity.


I've learned that I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy it.


I've learned that we are responsible for what we do,
unless we are celebrities.



I've learned that artificial intelligence is no match for natural
stupidity.


I've learned that 99% of the time when something isn't working
in your house, one of your kids did it


I've learned that there is a fine line between genius and insanity.


I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from
you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away. And the
real pains in the ass are permanent.


Pass this along to 5 friends...trust me, they'll appreciate it.
Who knows,maybe something good will happen. If not...tough!

I only know the names of two angels. Hark and Harold.
Gregory, 5

Everybody's got it all wrong. Angels don't wear halos anymore. I forget
why, but scientists are working on it.
Olive, 9

It's not easy to become an Angel! First, you die. Then you go to
heaven,and then there's still the flight training to go through. And
then you got to agree to wear those angel clothes.
Matthew, 9

Angels work for God and watch over kids when God has to go do something
else
Mitchell, 7

My guardian Angel helps me with math, but he's not much good for
science.
Henry, 8

Angels don't eat, but they drink milk from Holy Cows!!!
Jack, 6

Angels talk all the way while they're flying you up to heaven. The main
subject is where you went wrong before you got dead.
Daniel, 9

When an Angel gets mad, he takes a deep breath and counts to ten. And
when he lets out his breath, somewhere there's a tornado.
Reagan, 10

Angels have a lot to do and they keep very busy.
If you lose a tooth, an Angel comes in through your window and leaves
money under your pillow. Then when it gets cold, Angels go north for the
winter.
Sara, 6

Angels live in cloud houses made by God and his son, who's a very good
carpenter.
Jared, 8

All Angels are girls because they gotta wear dresses and boys didn't go
for it.
Antonio, 9

My Angel is my grandma who died last year. She got a big head start on
helping me while she was still down here on earth.
Katelynn, 9&nb sp;

Some of the Angels are in charge of helping heal sick animals and pets.
And if they don't make the animals get better, they help the child get
over it.
Vicki, 8

What I don't get about Angels is why,.... when someone is in love, they
shoot arrows at them.
Sarah, 7

New Pledge of Allegiance!



Since the Pledge of Allegiance and The Lord's Prayer

are not allowed in most public schools anymore

Because the word "God" is mentioned....

A kid in Arizona wrote the attached NEW School prayer.



Now I sit me down in school

Where praying is against the rule

For this great nation under God

Finds mention of Him very odd.



If Scripture now the class recites,

It violates the Bill of Rights.

And anytime my head I bow

Becomes a Federal matter now.



Our hair can be purple, orange or green,

That's no offense; it's a freedom scene.

The law is specific, the law is precise.

Prayers spoken aloud are a serious vice.


For praying in a public hall

Might offend someone with no faith at all.

In silence alone we must meditate,

God's name is prohibited by the state.


We're allowed to cuss and dress like freaks,

And pierce our noses, tongues and cheeks.

They've outlawed guns, but FIRST the Bible.

To quote the Good Book makes me liable.



We can elect a pregnant Senior Queen,

And the 'unwed daddy,' our Senior King.

It's "inappropriate" to teach right from wrong,

We're taught that such "judgments" do not belong.


We can get our condoms and birth controls,

Study witchcraft, vampires and totem poles.

But the Ten Commandments are not allowed,

No word of God must reach this crowd.

!


It's scary here I must confess,

When chaos reigns the school's a mess.

So, Lord, this silent plea I make:

Should I be shot; My soul please take!

Amen

God is like: Television commercials



A fifth grade teacher in a Christian school asked her class to look at
TV commercials and see if they could use them in some way to communicate
ideas about God.
Here are some of the results: scroll down.



God is like.
BAYER ASPIRIN
He works miracles.



God is like.
a FORD
He's got a better idea.


God is like.
COKE
He's the real thing.


God is like.
HALLMARK CARDS
He cares enough to send His very best.


God is like.
TIDE
He gets the stains out that others leave behind.



God is like.
GENERAL ELECTRIC
He brings good things to life.


God is like.
SEARS
He has everything.


God is like.
ALKA-SELTZER
Try Him, you'll like Him


God is like.
SCOTCH TAPE
You can't see Him, but you know He's there.



God is like.
DELTA
He's ready when you are.


God is like.
ALLSTATE
You're in good hands with Him.!



God is like.
VO-5 Hair Spray
He holds through all kinds of weather.



God is like.
DIAL SOAP
Aren't you glad you have Him? Don't you wish everybody did?



God is like.
the U.S. POST OFFICE
Neither rain, nor snow, nor sleet nor ice will keep Him from His
appointed destination.



God is like.

Chevrolet. . . .the heart beat of America


God is like

Maxwell house. . .
Good to the very last drop

God is like.

B ou nt y. . . .

He is the quicker picker upper. . can handle the tough jobs. . .and He
won't fall apart on you


BLESSINGS FROM MY HOUSE TO YOUR HOUSE