AUTHOR UNKNOWN

I guarantee you will remember the tale of the Wooden Bowl
tomorrow, a week from now, a month from now, a year from now.

A frail old man went to live with his son, daughter-in-law, and four-year - old grandson.
The old man's hands trembled, his eyesight was blurred, and his step faltered.

The family ate together at the table. But the elderly grandfather's shaky hands and
failing sight made eating difficult. Peas rolled off his spoon onto the floor.
When he grasped the glass, milk spilled on the tablecloth.

The son and daughter-in-law became irritated with the mess.
"We must do something about father," said the son.
"I've had enough of his spilled milk, noisy eating, and food on the floor."

So the husband and wife set a small table in the corner.
There, Grandfather ate alone while the rest of the family enjoyed dinner.
Since Grandfather had broken a dish or two, his food was served in a wooden bowl.

When the family glanced in Grandfather's direction, sometimes he had a tear in his eye as he sat alone.
Still, the only words the couple had for him were sharp admonitions when he dropped a fork or spilled food.

The four-year-old watched it all in silence.

One evening before supper, the father noticed his son playing with wood scraps on the floor.
He asked the child sweetly, "What are you making?" Just as sweetly, the boy responded,
"Oh, I am making a little bowl for you and Mama to eat your food in when I grow up.
" The four-year-old smiled and went back to work.

The words so struck the parents so that they were speechless.
Then tears started to stream down their cheeks.
Though no word was spoken, both knew what must be done.

That evening the husband took Grandfather's hand and gently led him back to the family table.
For the remainder of his days he ate every meal with the family. And for some reason,
neither husband nor wife seemed to care any longer when a fork was dropped, milk spilled, or the tablecloth soiled.

On a positive note, I've learned that, no matter what happens,
how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.

I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles four things:
a rainy day, the elderly, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.

I've learned that, regardless of your relationship with your parents,
you'll miss them when they're gone from your life.

I've learned that making a "living" is not the same thing as making a "life.."

I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.

I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands.
You need to be able to throw something back

I've learned that if you pursue happiness, it will elude you
But, if you focus on your family, your friends, the needs of others,
your work and doing the very best you can, happiness will find you

I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision.

I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one.

I've learned that every day, you should reach out and touch someone.

People love that human touch -- holding hands, a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.

I've learned that I still have a lot to learn.

A blonde wanted to go ice fishing. She'd seen many books on the subject,and finally getting all the necessary tools together, she made for the ice. After positioning her comfy footstool, she started to make a circular cut in the ice. Suddenly, from the sky a voice boomed, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE."Startled, the blonde moved further down the ice, poured a thermos of cappuccino, and began to cut yet another hole. Again from the heavens the voice bellowed, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE."The blonde, now worried, moved away, clear down to the opposite end of the ice. She set up her stool once more and tried again to cut a hole. The voice came once more, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE."She stopped, looked skyward, and said," IS THAT YOU LORD? " The voice replied, "NO, THIS IS THE MANAGER OF THE HOCKEY RINK."

Good one sis. LOve ya

Grab a box of tissue's your gonna need them.
This was not written by me, author is unknown to me.



DADDY'S Poem

Her hair was up in a pony tail,
Her favorite dress tied with a bow.
Today was Daddy's Day at school,
and she couldn't wait to go.

But her mommy tried to tell her,
that she probably should stay home
Why the kids might not understand,
if she went to school alone.

But she was not afraid;
She knew just what to say.
What to te! ll her c classmates
of why he wasn't there today.

But still her mother worried,
for her to face this day alone.
And that was why once again,
She tried to keep her daughter home.

But the little girl went to school
eager to tell them all.
About a dad she never sees
a dad who never calls.
There were daddies along the wall in back,
for everyone to meet.
Children squirming impatiently,
Anxious in their seats

One by one the teacher called
a student from the class.
To introduce their daddy,
as seconds slowly passed.

At last the teacher called her name,
every child turned to stare.
Each of them was searching,
a man who wasn't there.

"Where's her daddy at?"
She heard a boy call out.
"She probably doesn't have one,"
another student dared to shout.

And from somewhere near the back,
She heard a daddy say,
"Looks like another deadbeat dad,
too busy to waste his day."

The words did not offend her,
as she smiled up at her Mom.
And looked back at her teacher, who told her to go on.
And with hands behind her back,
slowly she began to speak.
And out from the mouth of a child,
came words incredibly unique.

"My Daddy couldn't be here,
because he lives so far away.
But I know he wishes he could be,
since this is such a special day.

And though you cannot meet him,
I wanted you to know.
All about my daddy,
and how much he loves me so.

He loved to tell me stories
he taught me to ride my bike.
He surprised me with pink roses,
and taught me to fly a kite.

We used to share fudge sundaes,
and ice cream in a cone.
And though you cannot see him.
I'm no! t standi ng here alone.

"Cause my daddy's always with me,
even though we are apart
I know because he told me,
he'll forever be in my heart"
With that, her little hand reached up,
and lay across her chest.
Feeling her own heartbeat,
beneath her favorite dress.

And from somewhere there in the crowd of dads,
her mother stood in tears.
Proudly watching her daughter,
who was wise beyond her years.

For she stood up for the love
of a man not in her life.
Doing what was best for her,
doing what was right.

And when she dropped her hand back down,
staring straight into the crowd.
She finished with a voice so soft,
but its message clear and loud.

"I love my daddy very much,
he's my shining star.
And if he could, he'd be here,
but heaven's just too far.

You see he is a Marine
and died just this past year
When a roadside bomb hit his convoy
and taught Americans to fear.
But sometimes when I close my eyes,
it's like he never went away."
And then she closed her eyes,
and saw him there that day.

And to her mother's amazement,
she witnessed with surprise.
A room full of daddies and children,
all starting to close their eyes.

Who knows what they saw before them,
who knows what they felt inside.
Perhaps for merely a second,
they saw him at her side.

"I know you're with me Daddy,"
to the silence she called out.
And what happened next made believers,
of those once filled with doubt.

Not one in that room could explain it,
for each of their eyes had been closed.
But there on the desk beside her,
was a fragrant long-stemmed pink rose.

And a child was blessed, if only for a moment,
by the love of her shining star.
And given the gift of believing,
that heaven is never too far.
They say it takes a minute to find a special
person, an hour to appreciate them,
a day to love them, but then an entire
life to forget them.

True -- Worth Reading !!!


At the prodding of my friends, I am writing this story. My name is Mildred Honor. I am a former elementary school music teacher from Des Monies, Iowa. I've always supplemented my income by teaching piano lessons-something I've done for over 30 years. Over the years I found that children have many levels of musical ability. I've never had the pleasure of having a prodigy though I have taught some talented students.

However I've also had my share of what I call "musically challenged" pupils. One such student was Robby. Robby was 11 years old when his mother (a single Mom) dropped him off for his first piano lesson. I prefer that students (especially boys!) begin at an earlier age, which I explained to Robby.

But Robby said that it had always been his mother's dream to hear him play the piano. So I took him as a student. Well, Robby began with his piano lessons and from the beginning I thought it was a hopeless endeavor. As much as Robby tried, he lacked the sense of tone and basic rhythm needed to excel. But he dutifully reviewed his scales and some elementary pieces that I require all my students to learn.

Over the months he tried and tried while I listened and cringed and tried to encourage him. At the end of each weekly lesson he'd always say, "My mom's going to hear me play someday." But it seemed hopeless. He just did not have any inborn ability. I only knew his mother from a distance as she dropped Robby off or waited in her aged car to pick him up. She always waved and smiled but never stopped in.

Then one day Robby stopped coming to our lessons.

I thought about calling him but assumed because of his lack of ability, that he had decided to pursue something else. I also was glad that he stopped coming. He was a bad advertisement for my teaching!

Several weeks later I mailed to the student's homes a flyer on the upcoming recital. To my surprise Robby (who received a flyer) asked me if he could be in the recital. I told him that the recital was for current pupils and because he had dropped out he really did not qualify. He said that his mother had been sick and unable to take him to piano lessons but he was still practicing "Miss Honor I've just got to play!" he insisted.

I don't know what led me to allow him to play in the recital. Maybe it was his persistence or maybe it was something inside of me saying that it would be all right. The night for the recital came. The high school gymnasium was packed with parents, friends and relatives. I put Robby up last in the program before I was to come up and thank all the students and play a finishing piece. I thought that any damage he would do would come at the end of the program and I could always salvage his poor performance through my "curtain closer."

Well, the recital went off without a hitch. The students had been practicing and it showed Then Robby came up on stage. His clothes were wrinkled and his hair looked like he'd run an eggbeater through it. "Why didn't he dress up like the other students?" I thought. "Why didn't his mother at least make him comb his hair for this special night?"

Robby pulled out the piano bench and he began. I was surprised when he announced that he had chosen Mozart's Concerto #21 in CO Major. I was not prepared for what I heard next. His fingers were light on the keys, they even danced nimbly on the ivories. He went from pianissimo to fortissimo. From allegro to virtuoso. His suspended chords that Mozart demands were magnificent! Never had I heard Mozart played so well by people his age. After six and a half minutes he ended in a grand crescendo, and everyone was on their feet in wild applause.

Overcome and in tears I ran up on stage and put my arms around Robby in joy. "I've never heard you play like that Robby! How'd you do it? " Through the microphone Robby explained: "Well Miss Honor . . Remember I told you my Mom was sick? Well, actually she had cancer and passed away this morning And well . She was born deaf so tonight was the first time she ever heard me play. I wanted to make it special."

There wasn't a dry eye in the house that evening. As the people from Social Services led Robby from the stage to be placed into foster care, noticed that even their eyes were red and puffy and I thought to myself how much richer my life had been for taking Robby as my pupil.

No, I've never had a prodigy but that night I became a prodigy. . . Of Robby's. He was the teacher and I was the pupil for it is he that taught me the meaning of perseverance and love and believing in yourself and maybe even taking a chance in someone and you don't know why.

Robby was killed in the senseless bombing of the Alfred P. Murray Federal Building in Oklahoma City in April of 1995.



I had to share

This is not my story, but a story that was shared with me and I had to pass it on.

ANSWERS:

01. The Lone Ranger left behind a silver bullet.
02. The Ed Sullivan Show
03. On Route 66
04. To protect the innocent.
05. The Lion Sleeps Tonight
06. The limbo
07. Chocolate
08. Louis Armstrong
09. The Timex watch
10. Freddy, The Freeloader and 'Good Night and God Bless.'
11. Draft cards (Bras were also burned. Not flags, as some have guessed)
12. Beetle or Bug
13. Buddy Holly
14. Sputnik
15. Hula-hoop

A TEST FOR "us" OLD KIDS

The answers are printed on another page.

01. After the Lone Ranger saved the day and rode off into the sunset, the grateful citizens would ask, Who was that masked man? Invariably, someone would answer, I don't know, but he left this behind. What did he leave behind?________________.

02. When the Beatles first came to the U.S. In early 1964, we all watched them on The _______________ Show.

03 'Get your kicks, __________________.'

04. 'The story you are about to see is true. The names have been changed to ___________________.'

05. 'In the jungle! the mighty jungle, ________________.'

06. After the Twist, The Mashed Potato, and the Watusi, we 'danced' under a stick that was lowered as low as we could go in a dance called the '_____________.'
< /SPAN>
07. 'N_E_S_T_L_E_S', Nestle's makes the very best . . . . _______________.'

08. Satchmo was America's 'Ambassador of Goodwill.' Our parents shared this great jazz trumpet player with us. His name was _________________.

09. What takes a licking and keeps on ticking? _______________.

10. Red Skelton's hobo character was named __________________ and Red always ended his television show by saying, 'Good Night, and '________ ________'.

11. Some Americans who protested the Vietnam War did so by burning their______________.

12. The cute little car with the engine in the back and the trunk in the front was called the VW What other names did it go by? ____________ & _______________.

13. In 1971, singer Don MacLean sang a song about, 'the day the music died.' This was a tribute to ___________________.

14! We can remember the first satellite placed into orbit. The Russians did it. It was called ___________________.

15. One of the big fads of the late 50's and 60's was a large plastic ring that we twirle d around our waist. It was called the ________________.

-----Jesus' Dad's Name
A Sunday school teacher asked her class, 'What was Jesus' mother's name?'
One child answered, 'Mary.'
The teacher then asked, 'Who knows what Jesus' father's name was?'
A little kid said, 'Verge.'
Confused, the teacher asked, 'Where did you get that?'
The kid said, 'Well, you know they are always talking about Verge n' Mary.''
______________________________________________________________

A Sunday school teacher asked her children, as they were on the way to church service,
'And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?'
One bright little girl replied,
'Because a lot of people are
sleeping.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Six-year-old Angie and her four-year-old brother Joel were sitting together in church.
Joel giggled, sang, and talked out loud.
Finally, his big sister had had enough.
'You're not supposed to talk out loud in church.'
'Why? Who's going to stop me?' Joel asked.
Angie pointed to the back of the church and said,
'See those two men standing by the door?
They're hushers.'

I loved it Cy. I'm glad to c u back.

Your a Boober Goober? Sounds like a great name for a new Candy.



G

between Zanesville and New Philly

Author Unknown

If I knew it would be the last time
That I'd see you fall asleep,
I would tuck you in more tightly
and pray the Lord, your soul to keep.

If I knew it would be the last time
that I see you walk out the door,
I would give you a hug and kiss
and call you back for one more

If I knew it would be the last time
I'd hear your voice lifted up in praise,
I would video tape each action and word,
so I could play them back day after day.

If I knew it would be the last time,!
I could spare an extra minute
to stop and say "I love you,"
instead of assuming you would KNOW I do.

If I knew it would be the last time
I would be there to share your day,
Well I'm sure you'll have so many more,
so I can let just this one slip away.

For surely there's always tomorrow
to make up for an oversight,
and we always get a second chanc e
to make everything just right.

There will l always be another day
to say "I love you,"
And certainly there's another chance
to say our "Anything I can do?"

But just in case I might be wrong,
and today is all I get,
I'd like to say how much I love you
and I hope we never forget.

Tomorrow is not promised to anyone,
young or old alike,
And today may be the last chance
you get to hold your loved one tight.

So if you're waiting for tomorrow,
why not do it today?
For if tomorrow never comes,
you'll surely regret the day,

That you didn't take that extra time
for a smile, a hug, or a kiss
and you were too busy to grant someone,
what turned out t o be their one last wish.

So hold your loved ones close today,
and whisper in their ear,
Tell them how much you love them
and that you'll always hold them dear

Take time to say "I'm sorry ,"
"Please forgive me," "Thank you," or "It's okay."
And if tomorrow never comes,
you'll have no regrets about today.

"Tomorrow morning," the surgeon began,
"I'll open up your heart..."

"You'll find Jesus there," the boy interrupted

The surgeon looked up, annoyed "I'll
cut your heart open," he continued,
to see how much damage has been done .."

"But when you open up my heart, you'll
find Jesus in there," said the boy.

The surgeon looked to the parents, who sat
quietly. "When I see how much damage has been done, I'll
sew your heart and chest back up, and I'll plan what to
do next."

; "But you'll find Jesus in my heart. The
Bible says He lives there. The
hymns all say He lives there. You'll
find Him in my heart."

The surgeon had had enough. "I'll tell
you what I'll find in your heart.
I'll find damaged muscle, low blood
supply, and weakened vessels.
And I'll find out if I can make you well."

"You'll find Jesus there too. He lives there "

The surgeon left.

The surgeon sat in his office,
recording his notes from the surgery, "...damaged aorta, damaged
pulmonary vein, widespread muscle degeneration.
No hope for transplant, no hope for cure.
Therapy: pain killers and bed rest. Prognosis:, "
here he paused, "death within one year."

He stopped the recorder, but there was
more to be said. "Why?" he asked aloud.
"Why did You do this? You've put
him here; You've put him in this pain; and
You've cursed him to an early death. Why?"

The Lord answered and said, "The boy, My
lamb, was not meant for your flock for long, for he is a
part of My flock , and will forever be.
Here, in My flock, he will feel no
pain, and will be comforted as you cannot imagine.
H is parents will one day join him here,
and they will know peace, and
My flock will continue to grow."

The surgeon's tears were hot, but his
anger was hotter. "You created that
boy , and You created that heart. He'll
be dead in months. Why?"

The Lord answered, "The boy, My lamb,
shall return to My flock, for He has Done his duty: I did not
put My lamb with your flock to lose him, but to
retrieve another lost lamb." YOU!

The surgeon wept.. The surgeon sat
beside the boy's bed; the boy's
parents sat across from him. The boy awoke
and whispered , "Did you cut open my heart?"

"Yes," said the surgeon.

"What did you find?" asked the boy.

"I found Jesus there," said the surgeon

Author Unknown

A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables; and when he picked up a CD player to place in his sack, a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark saying, "Jesus is watching you."

He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his head, promised himself a vacation after the next big score, then clicked the light on and began searching for more valuables.

Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, Clear as a bell he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice.

Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.

Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot

"Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you."

The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?"

"Moses," replied the bird.

"Moses?" the burglar laughed . "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?"

"The kind of people that would name a Rottweiler Jesus."

This poem was written by a terminally ill young girl in a New York Hospital.

SLOW DANCE

Have you ever watched kids
On a merry-go-round?
Or listened to the rain
Slapping on the ground?
Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight?
Or gazed at the sun into the fading night?
You better slow down.
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.
Do you run through each day
On the fly?
When you ask How are you?
Do you hear the reply?
When the day is done
Do you lie in your bed
With the next hundred chores
Running through your head?
You'd better slow down
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.
Ever told your child,
We'll do it tomorrow?
And in your haste,
Not see his sorrow?
Ever lost touch,
Let a good friendship die
Cause you never had time
To call and say,'Hi'
You'd better slow down.
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.
When you run so fast to get somewhere
You miss half the fun of getting there.
When you worry and hurry through your day,
It is like an unopened gift....
Thrown away.
Life is not a race.
Do take it slower
Hear the music
Before the song is over.

************************

A married couple was in a terrible accident where the
man's face was severely burned. The doctor told the
husband that they couldn't graft any skin from his body
because he was too skinny. So the wife offered to donate
some of her own skin. However, the only skin on her body
that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come
from her buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they
would tell no one about where the skin came from, and they
requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After
all, this was a very delicate matter. After the surgery was
completed, everyone was astounded at the man's new face.
He looked more handsome than he ever had before! All his
friends and relatives just went on and on about his youthful
beauty! One day, he was alone with his wife, and he was
overcome with emotion at her sacrifice. He said, "Dear,
I just want to thank you for everything you did for me.
How can I possibly repay you?" "My darling," she replied,
"I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother
kiss you on the cheek."

Just two little boys
Walking down a dusty lane ..
They came upon this old white house ..
With broken window panes.
The paint was faded, the shine was gone ...
The grass had grown so high ..
Still they made their little feet go ..
To see what was inside.
They opened up the squeaky door ...
And then it came to light .
This must have been an old church house ...
Once upon a time.
Dirty, dusty wooden pews ...
A pulpit that still stood ...
A Bible laid upon it ...
Though the pages weren't too good.
An offering plate and song books too ...
Were lying on the floor.
They must have left this old church fast ...
The day they closed these doors.
And over in the corner .
A piano was still there ...
It must have played a pretty tune ...
But I guess nobody cared.
So little Bill looked up at Tommy
And Tommy looked at Bill.
'Why don't we clean this old church up,
And get these old pews filled?'
They took a rag and wiped the dust,
To try and make things shine ...
And then they took the offering plate ...
And put in it their last dime.
They took a broom and swept the floor .
And picked up broken glass ...
They got it all so nice and neat
And then they mowed the grass.
They lifted up the old church sign ..
And stood it by a tree.
Right down by that old dirt road.
Where everyone could see.
They ran back home, to find Daddy gone
But their Momma was inside ..
Just to find her hurt again
When Daddy had made her cry.
'Don't cry Momma, wipe those tears,'
Little Bill and Tommy smiled..
'Cause we have a big surprise for you ...
Just down the road a mile.'
Hand in hand they tugged at her ..
Until they made her run ...
'What Is it Bill, Oh Tommy,
Just what have you two kids done?'
And then they came upon the house .
Once hidden by the weeds .
And there it stood, a country church .
Just like it used to be.
'But what is it, Mother? What's with your tears?
We thought this would bring you joy.'
'Yes, but hush kids now and listen close.
My two sweet precious boys.'
They both got quiet and stood real still ...
For the words they heard so true ...
Was Daddy praying in the church ...
With his head bowed on the pew.
'Forgive me Lord! Forgive me Lord!
Though I'm not worthy of Your love ...
Shine down on this sinner man.
Sweet Salvation from above.'
'For I've been out in the world, You know ...
Living my life all wrong ...
Until I came upon this church;
The place where I belong.'
'I never noticed it before .
All those times I passed it up ...
I guess I wasn't looking, Lord
Or maybe I was drunk.'
'Bless oh Lord, yes, bless oh Lord,
The one who made me see ...
This little church that used to hide ...
Behind all those tall weeds.'
And then he raised his head and stood
With his hands high in the air.
To find two, dirty, tear-faced boys .
With Momma standing there.
They ran up to him, hugged him tight ..
As their tears fell on the floor...
'Don't worry kids, I'm not the Dad,
The one you've known before.'
Things are different for us now.
So keep on those pretty smiles ...
And let's go gather people in .
>>>>
>>>> To walk down these church aisles.'
Then Bill looked up at Tommy .
And Tommy looked at Bill ..
'Come on brother, let's get to work .
To get these old pews filled.'
'For we need no special blessing .
For cleaning up this church ....
Cause, God gave us back our Daddy ...
And that's more than gold is Worth.'
Sunday morning, pews all filled .
And smiles on every face
Especially two little country boys ...
The ones who found this place.
Though it was hid back in the weeds .
And so far out of sight .
Nothing's ever hard to find ...
If you're walking toward God's light.

Don't let your worries get the
best of you; remember, Moses started
out as a basket case.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*

Some people are kind, polite, and
sweet-spirited until you try to sit in their pews.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*

Many folks want to serve God,
but only as advisors.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*

It is easier to preach ten sermons
than it is to live one.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*

The good Lord didn't create anything
without a purpose, but mosquitoes come close.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*

When you get to your wit's end,
you'll find God lives there.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*

People are funny; they want the front
of the bus, the middle of the road, and
the back of the church.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*

Opportunity may knock once, but temptation
bangs on your front door forever.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*

Quit griping about your church;
if it was perfect, you couldn't belong.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*

If the church wants a better pastor,
it only needs to pray for the one it has.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*

God Himself does not propose to judge
a man until he is dead. So why should you?
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*

Some minds are like concrete
thoroughly mixed up and permanently set.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*

Peace starts with a smile.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*

I don't know why some people
change churches; what difference does
it make which one you stay home from?
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*

A lot of church members who are singing
"Standing on the Promises"
are just sitting on the premises.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*

We were called to be witnesses,
not lawyers or judges.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*

Be ye fishers of men. You catch
them - He'll clean them.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*

Coincidence is when God
chooses to remain anonymous.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*

Don't put a question mark
where God put a period.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*

Don't wait for 6 strong men
to take you to church.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*

Forbidden fruits create many jams.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*

God doesn't call the qualified,
He qualifies the called.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*

God grades on the cross, not the curve.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*

God loves everyone, but probably prefers
"fruits of the spirit" over "religious nuts!"
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*

God promises a safe landing,
not a calm passage.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*

He who angers you, controls you!
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*

If God is your Co-pilot - swap seats!
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*

Prayer:
Don't give God instructions -- just report for duty!
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*

The task ahead of us is never as
great as the Power behind us.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*

The Will of God never takes you to
where the Grace of God will not protect you.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*

We don't change the message,
the message changes us.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*

You can tell how big a person is
by what it takes to discourage him.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*

The best mathematical equation
I have ever seen:
1 cross + 3 nails = 4 given.

DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:

* 40-ish..................................49.

* Adventurous..........................Slept with everyone.

* Athletic................................No breasts.

* Average looking.....................Moooo.

* Beautiful..............................Pathological liar.

* Emotionally Secure..................On medication.

* Feminist...............................Fat.

* Free Spirit.............................Junkie.

* Friendship first.......................Former Slut.

* New-Age................................Body hair in the wrong places.

* Old-fashioned........................No B.J.'s

* Open-minded.........................Desperate.

* Outgoing..............................Loud and embarrassing.

* Professional...........................*****.

* Voluptuous...........................Very fat.

* Wants soul mate.....................Stalker.

* Lovable................................Bring a beer.

*Sexy ................................Bring lots of beer.

DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S ENGLISH:

* Yes.....................................No

* No.....................................Yes

* Maybe.................................No

* We need...............................I want

* I am sorry.............................You'll be sorry

* We need to talk.......................You're in trouble

* Sure, go ahead.......................You better not

* Do what you want...................You will pay for this later

* I am not upset........................Of course, I am upset, you moron!

* You're attentive tonight............Is sex all you ever think about?

DICTIONARY FOR DECODING MEN'S ENGLISH:

* I am hungry...........................I am hungry

* I am sleepy............................I am sleepy

* I am tired.............................I am tired

* Nice dress..............................Nice cleavage!

* I love you..............................Let's have sex now

* I am bored.............................Do you want to have sex?

* May I have this dance?..................I'd like to have sex with you.

* Can I call you sometime?..............I'd like to have sex with you.

* Do you want to go to a movie?......I'd like to have sex with you..

* Can I take you out to dinner?........I'd like to have sex with you.

* I don't think those shoes go with that outfit..............I'm gay.

I receieved this in an email thought I would share.



The heating unit went out on my dryer! The gentleman that fixes things around the house for us told us that he wanted to show us something and he went over to the dryer and pulled out the lint filter. It was clean. (I always clean the lint from the filter after every load clothes.) He told us that he wanted to show us something; he took the filter over to the sink, ran hot water over it. The lint filter is made of a mesh material - I'm sure you know what your dryer's lint filter looks like. WELL...the hot water just sat on top of the mesh!

It didn't go through it at all! He told us that dryer sheets cause a film over that mesh that's what burns out the heating unit. You can't SEE the film , but it's there. It's what is ! in the dryer sheets to make your clothes soft and static free - that nice fragrance too, you know how they can feel waxy when you take them out of the box, well this stuff builds up on your clothes and on your lint screen. This is also what causes dryer units to catch fire & potentially burn your house down with it! He said the best way to keep your dryer working for a very long time (& to keep your electric bill lower) is to take that filter out & wash it with hot soapy water & an old toothbrush (or other brush) at least every six months. He said that makes the life of the dryer at least twice as long! How about that!?! Learn something new everyday! I certainly didn't know dryer sheets would do that. So , I thought I'd share!

Note: I went to my dryer & tested my screen by running water on it. The water ran through a little bit but mostly collected all the water in the mesh screen. I washed it with warm soapy water & a nylon brush & I ha! d it do ne in 30 seconds. Then when I rinsed it the water ran right Thru the screen! There wasn't any puddeling at all! That repairman knew what he was talking about!
PLEASE PASS THIS ON TO OTHER PEOPLE IN YOUR ADDRESS BOOK. NOT ONLY COULD IT SAVE SOMEONE'S HOME , BUT IT COULD SAVE SOMEONE'S LIFE.