Oh, I'm going to have to disagree with you on this one, hiker ... I'm JUST as sweet and ooey gooey chocolately chippy as I appear in my photo!

*passes Fran the popcorn* Well, shucks girl ... I still think you're hot!

Yada, yada, yada ... no, I mentioned the bisque!

Not that there'd be anything wrong with that, right?!

*goes to the fridge and pours her a big, tall glass and serves it with a smile* Don't fret ... it's all good, trust me on this one!

I think the board clock can be confusing ... I sometimes forget to add the 3 hrs to get us in the same time zone as the posts!

Thanks, hiker!

Indeed it is, Fran. A few years ago I was a support volunteer for individuals affected by HIV/AIDS (they had a partner or family member who was infected) and was told by a friend out of the country that she wasn't sure she was comfortable with me coming to visit her and her family because of my volunteer work - I was shocked, to say the least. Wasn't sure how she felt my facilitating a support group would put her children at risk, but it was a HUGE eye opener as to the depth of the fear and ignorance that exists around this disease.

The longer I'm online, the more this makes sense to me, in a way (meeting sooner rather than later). I hear over and over about people having a great 'connection' with someone online - only to meet down the road and discover there was no chemistry, etc. and then they're both left disappointed and disillusioned b/c they've invested an enormous amount of time, energy and emotion into something that might have never gone further than a cup of coffee if they'd met in the 'real' world.

ETA: But there's also those that are obviously rushing to get to the 'good stuff' ... warning bells usually start going off early in those situations - I think I'm referring to a different scenario.

Wow - appreciate everyone's honesty, but am kind of amazed by the misinformation out there about how HIV is/can be spread.

Still single. Single still.

Yep, no matter how you say it, still kinda ... single!

*puts her feet up on the coffee table beside lily and says 'I'll drink to that!'*

I've been a victim of spyware on the computer by a partner ... huge violation of not only yours, but your friends privacy. I feel for you, I really, really do. Don't let her bully you, best I can offer!

1980? SWEET! *crosses fingers it still has the original tape deck* Don't get in my way, girls ... I'm all over this one!

Lately all I've been getting are the ones that are refreshingly clever, witty, articulate and ... MARRIED!

... and these are often the people whining 'why doesn't anybody love me? why am I still single? where are all the 'nice' men/women?' Yep, suck it up, and move on as best you can -- you'll always garner more respect and empathy with this outlook!

I agree with so much of what you write, angel, and always appreciate your honesty and gentle manner on the forum. I'm not looking for someone to dote on me and shower me with non-stop affection/attention, in fact, the slightest, smallest efforts often are the most heart-warming ... a 2 line email to say "I'm super busy, but you're never far from my thoughts" would put a smile on my face and be all the reassurance I'd need.

I'm afraid that in the past I've taken 'understanding, flexible and accomodating to ridiculous lengths -- and then wondered why I feel used; that's a pattern I'm trying to break. I see the best in people, I treat people the way I want to be treated and I'm ridiculously hopeful that things can/will work out - so too often in the past I've settled for much, much less than I want and need. Balance is key - and I'm working on it ... learning, learning, always learning!

wasn't sure you'd noticed! lol

I'd your input ... seriously! (male perspective always welcome and appreciated)

I'm starting to wonder if I'm 'high maintenance' in the attention department too -- if my expectations for regular contact are unrealistic and unfair. I give so much of myself to every new relationship (platonic or otherwise) and often feel let down b/c my efforts do not seem to be reciprocated. I've started to require more of the men who want to be in my life - and while I'm not sure if that will pay off long-term, I just know I can't continue to feel disappointed by their lack of initiative. I got out of a marriage b/c I was ignored ... this time around MUST be different, or I'll choose to be alone - much easier than being lonely in a relationship, imo.