About Her:

Ever since i found you my life has been in a total disarray


i didnt know what was okay would have been great


had the greatness been achieved maybe we would have been better


but i didnt make the most out of the opportunity and if i did


i would still have regrets





What i said is many thoughts expressed at once

deeper than one point of view

proves

a multitude of perspectives accrued


let me rephrase that


a variable amount of introspectives introduced




About Me:

Ever since i found you my life has been in a total disarray


i didnt know what was okay would have been great


had the greatness been achieved maybe we would have been better


but i didnt make the most out of the opportunity and if i did


i would still have regrets





Depending on what you see perceived

is how you will view one side of this poetry


poeticaly


rehetoricaly


metaphoricaly


a poem about her, about me, about poetry



In other words



About this Poem:

Ever since i found you my life has been in a total disarray


i didnt know what was okay would have been great


had the greatness been achieved maybe we would have been better


but i didnt make the most out of the opportunity and if i did


i would still have regrets





Albert Einstein's theory

"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."


An alteration of Albert Einstein's theory

"Sanity: saying the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."

Thank You

Leigh
teasing
Athena
tazz
mig
woz
bastet

why didnt i stay in school?
i would be in 30th grade by now..

i am not where
i thought i could be..

this is not
what i told my 4th grade teacher
i would be..

i told her i was going to be a
racecar driver..

she didn't care what kind
so i didn't tell her
formula one..

in 5th grade i wanted to
draw comic books..

in 6th grade my downstairs
neighbor shattered that dream..

he could draw shoes
from any angle..

my left shoes were shaped
like J's and my right shoes
wore shaped like L's..

i was impressed
by his talent..

and embarrased
by my lack of..

my friend carves
art into peoples skin
nowadays..

so
the next year
in 6th grade
i decided
i'd become
a rapper..

one day..

i had a friend
i would rap with..

many years later
and just
a few years past..

he became
what i thought
i would
become..

so here i am..

i had many dreams..

but i can
honestly
unknowkingly
proudly
say

i am
not living any one of them..

this is all i know how to do..

no..

wait..
yes..

i am rich
in thought..

i toil in soil
with no plant
to pot..

Thanks Kc or Kev

allow me to demonstrate what it is
that makes people love to hate
one another

jealousy

something so silly
it's not even funny

it took me 25 years of life before i woke up one day
and looked in the mirror and smiled

i knew then what i know now

that one day i would look in the mirror and what i saw
than i would not see now

i see the same man

older

and the smile that lasted awhile is slowly fading

i see flaws through the eyes of others

judged

i see flaws through the eyes of others

stuck

i see me not caring what others think and i am satisfied

but when i see how others view me i know that what they see

is not really me


they only see the outer appearance


they do not have the clearance

to get passed the access denied of how i feel


honestly

life would appear to look more beautiful if we were all physically blind

if words and ears were all we had to live with
we would be happier

most harsh words start with an image

the image provokes the thought
the thought envokes the sound
the sound says whats on the mind

and we are never secure

last years technology is not much different than this years

in the end clothes are still clothes

a rose that arose 100 years ago is no different than a rose
that rises up today

vanity is deception

deception sells

god's not buying it

he knows every one is beautiful

i know he is right

i just want to be blind
so that i could appreciate all he see's

because i know humanities vision is limited not by distance

but by

love

thank you, Athena, KiK and Leigh for the comments.

especially yours Leigh because you just inspired me to write. TY!

YES
i love to smack
bite
scratch
pinch
hit
closed fist
open palm

it is hard for me to stay calm
sometimes i need to throw some blows
and kick these feet
stomping this out

i love doing this so much

to myself

because the thought of me doing this
to anyone else makes me want to pull the trigger
attached to the barrel that tickles my tonsils.

NO

i am not the TYPE that could live happily ever after
if i took my anger out on anyone other than

myself














Inspired by:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wivpObAH6jw&feature=share&list=PLAD130E2984E4347B

Alas!

music

is braile for the deaf

when you hear racism

people judge

notes

are thoughts you remember

to discard

people judge

and when they do they don't budge

the music plays

and they either love it or hate it

and if they were the only one they ever knew

they would love their music

but instead jealousy

rears the backend of normal driven forward in reverse

i live

on the edge of a sledge

precisely lined up to crack me on the head

and when it connects

a pinata stirring 35 years of alphabet soup scrambles scrabblish thoughts


so many noodles
so little tomato sauce


that could that cant but could make me more diverse

but why be a rotten apple that thinks different

when i am you man, cursed

a who man, damned if i be just a human birthed

i see words better when they are white in black backgounds

my music is a sound that not everyone would love

although i would love everyone who loved it

i dont blame you for being real fake happy and mad

music is competetive

if it wasn't we would only need one song and love that one song

and there would be no inspiration to feed off the hatred to

make something similar, different

with variable mixed reviews

in God's most generous days i would be 400 with the wisdom of a 900 year old

instead i am one eighth of what i could be and only half of what i wish i was

a man cannot be happy when he knows where this all leads to and when those who suffer most pray for heaven

the rich bathe in paper

the happy,

they make the most out of their heaven because they don't want to think about the future

heaven is life to the happiest

and the devil wants us all to make our own music

still maybe one day i will be reborn on another planet
called Eden

where life can exist without apples

until then

i will close my eyes

close my hands

and wait

wait

i should take off these headphones

we met on a sadderday

you turned it into a funday

we made up words
and listened to new classics
over an old ipod

i was taking swigs off a stolen wine bottle
and you were eloquenty sipping out of it

we through the word giddy around
a few times without saying a thing

it was a nice day to walk

but
we sat under a bareleafed tree
and pretended me were shady

it was something

something i remember vividly
in my imagination

as the day began to nod off --

i stared at each and every star at once
and you counted them all in my eyes

we shared an apple

bite for bite

a snake slithered by
and it made us think

i could tell what you were thinking
but cannot remember my thought

an unawkward silence lingered

somewhere out of nowhere

we laughed with our toes

as the wind
brushed through you're hair

Sadie - To answer your question: Yes, they all go naked in their sixties because they realize its not whats on the inside that counts. It's how they feel on the outside when they don't care what anyone thinks that feels most rejuvenating. Glad you are still here doing what you love. Whenever i think of the word 'Rose' and the word 'Poetry' i always associate the two with you.

2KM - I have not forgot. Writing poetry is like making love. The feeling has to be their or else it's just sex. Thanks for keeping me inspired whenever i write here.

Tazz - Always a pleasure to receive your emoticons.

Ainjel - Thank You Kindly.

Soufiehere - You made me smile even more than i already was.

d4tc - What are you doing? Write a new poem!

tomorrow is the big day - going to get that promotion - just know it!



i wake up tomorrow.


put on my green tie.


feeling money so i wanted to compliment the thought.


it smells like cat urine.



i take it off.



the doorbell rings.



i dont even have a door bell.

the neighbors just put one in
and are playing it like a one keyed piano.



i try to be polite
when i step out of character opening the front door
to my apartment throwing the tie at my neighbors cat sitting sideways on my
doorstep licking its neck.



it barks.
i hiss.
it barks again.



head down in despair, i shrug, "you win"




i grab a cup of coffee
that has been sitting in my fridge for the past 2 days
and warm it up.

i dont have a micro so i plug in the blow dryer on how
which is really low becuase it isn't what it used to be.



as i leave my apartment i notice the neighbor across from me.


she is a young girl in her early 60's holding a pair of binoculars
aimed at me and she is leaning on her balcony naked
with what looks to be smoke rising from an ashtray two balconies over.



i tuck in my thumb and high four the mail man because sometimes
he forgets to close my mailbox.



i notice my car is missing
so i stick a screwdriver in someone elses ignition.



thankfully its a convertible and the top was down.



driving on my way to work i notice a car sitting on the side of the road
with a small engine fire burning -- thats a fire burning from it's engine.

on my right im not sure what is over there because
to my left there is a very good looking woman wearing a bikini
crying and kicking the fender of her jalopy wearing male cowboy boots.

i look in the back of this car and see a table clothe
lying on the floorboard.

i throw it at her and say, "put this on!"



arriving at work. "im here."

letting the boss know im up-to-date on the latest.



"glad you made it 2 hours late" he replies.



"im ready for my promotion!" i imply.



"promotion!? what promotion?" he blares out boasteriously.


me, "you know, the one you said i was going to get for showing
up to work sober."

nice writes

45 years young!

happy birthday Kimba!

what is the greatest feeling
a man and woman can share?


i will give you a hint.


it is something
a

man to man
or
woman to woman

cannot
dare
to
compare
to
make happen

as a pair.


i know because-

it is something
so special as this
that has blessed me
from two seperate
entities.

a union
bonding
in agreement
formed
this mans

individuality.

it took two.

two of the same

with opposite
features acrobatically.

the first creation
of our existence
is unexplainable

so most concur
it had to be
magical.

forever baffled.

whom am I
to argue with
a magician
who can do a trick
that i cannot figure out
and whom may not

or would not

or maybe even

couldnt not

ever

reveal.

Hell, even if i knew how
this was done.

I would never be able
to pull it off.















~~~~~~ i have not forgot about your poem 2km. i tried, but this is what came out, and i had to go with it. ~~~~~~

true to my word and i end at #10?

shame on me.

#11



bad boy good girl

sex

yeah, i said it
she wouldnt let it

happen

she said,
"listen here sailor boy. I am the captain. i will walk your plank
once you clean this ship up."

for a daughter of a pastor
i wouldnt expect her to set such a bad example
at the tender age of 24 she made me realize being a virgin under pressure
can put a wedge between ones sanity and religious views.

for me, the wait was more than 4
years.
it was less than 4
seconds
before i knew what i wanted to do to her.

i didn't think about her thoughts or what she was wearing. i was looking beyond these ordinary distractions.

i knew she wanted total satisfaction. she flirted 4 years. turning every hardcore word into softcore porn.

at first she thought i was jaded.

she kept her distance.

i new.
virgins know what i mean.
in a nice way.
i knew she was imperfectious.

although i couldnt tell her this face to face.

most of the time i was staring at her most private place.

one look led to another.
she liked calling me a perv.

i would retaliate with, "future slut".

she didnt believe me when i said that 8 years ago. but two years ago? she practically begged me to show her my deepest, most thought out, image of us making the most out of humanity without the final result.

she was cleverly disguised this way.

as she knew my eyes shook up and down more noddingly than my head in agreement to whatever she wanted to hear.

i knew i wanted to hurt her,
and when she was finally ready?

i


was


not

intimately

enter
ing

interestedly

in her.


i told her this and she threw herself at me.

i let her cry for me.

and i almost pity F'd her.

but i couldn't do it.

screw it.

i wanted too.

i just wasn't feeling it.

i held my hands behind my back.

the way criminals look right before they get their head shoved
into the backdoor or a car they dont want to be in.

she frowned and sobbed a little more.

i said, "i always knew you would be a 'future whore' love"

"but you took too long. and i didnt have that long to wait."

thinking during the silence i thought.

even if i swallowed a bottle of viagras right now. it would be hard
to want to do this.

my heads dont think the same anymore.

"why, why did we drag this out? why did you want me so bad then
and now you don't care?"

i said, here is something guys don't say..

"i wanted you. i really wanted you. i really wanted you before i really knew i wouldn't want you."

i could see she wanted to say something but she couldnt look at me as she was biting the white off the tips of her nails thinking in regret. so i added,
"you were good. i was bad. now im not who i was. and you think now like i did."

only difference is i wanted to corrupt her. that was my turn-on.

i wanted to scream in her ears, "you dirty daughter of a pastor!!!"

and when i think of this now, i have to laugh. because i was so bad.
and she was so good. and now, if we did do it, it woulndt sound the same to say, knowing i am probably the somewhere around the 20th person to give her a try.

atleast #6 knowing
some of my friends told me she wasn't that great.









~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

thank you 2KM

i was going to write you the last one now. but im tired. and i want to make it something special that you will really enjoy. i just had to get this one out. the only thing i can say is, i think you will really like the last one i write.

what a lovely place to be.
her and he. he and them.

simpflified.

basking in the sun.
bathing under waterfalls.

no soap.
too busy enjoying life to
think otherwise.

drugs a thing of the future.
to relieve and relive.

necessarily unneccessary, as i see.

the best cliche i can think of is,
"its all in the head."
the most basic truth i have
ever thought of.

the simplest life.

stressless and obedient.

yet jealousy slithered.
but how?
and even more questionably pondered,
why?
why was this allowed.

why is there one tree?
with one rule?

who did this?

i think about this sometimes..

when im searching for peace i go
to the beginning.

the only conclusion remains..

if it was not for that tree
none of this would be real.

we would not know how good
we have it or how bad it can
get. and/or visa-verse.

if it were not for one serpent
of persuasion; life could have lived
forever as just him and just she.

and thank god this was not the case
or there would be no need for our existence.

you and i could have been obsolete.
thank god, we can say that.

but all things change.


it is the serpent that taught us
these emotions..

where did this serpent learn this from?

where did the end of a perfect world, begin?

i will never be a year younger.

every life is imperfect.

overwelmed is putting this lightly.

the most complex of all animals
must eat, sleep, and breahe.

just as any other.

making us not only the most complex.
also, the most highly sophisticated animals.

wondering how a serpent of less adversity
could influence us by impacting such negative
emotions

still i wonder..

how did such a serpent feel jealousy
altering good intentions.

and when he fell, why did he have to land
in a perfect world?

my conclusion: this is the story of humanity.

created by thee unseen.

manipulated by a talking serpent
to define our existence filled with emotions.

is this the truth?

that i do not know for certain..

but i do find it conforting
to have something to believe in.

"One
Is the number of men
She gave her number to

Fifteen
Is the number of times
She checked her messages"




my favorite part

good write

IMMA GREAT CATCH!
IMMA GREAT CATCH!
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IMMA GREAT CATCH!
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IMMA GREAT CATCH!
IMMA GREAT CATCH!
IMMA GREAT CATCH!
IMMA GREAT CATCH!
IMMA GREAT CATCH!
IMMA GREAT CATCH!
IMMA GREAT CATCH!
IMMA GREAT CATCH!
IMMA GREAT CATCH!
IMMA GREAT CATCH!
IMMA GREAT CATCH!
IMMA GREAT CATCH!
IMMA GREAT CATCH!
IMMA GREAT CATCH!
IMMA GREAT CATCH!
IMMA GREAT CATCH!
IMMA GREAT CATCH!
IMMA GREAT CATCH!
IMMA GREAT CATCH!
IMMA GREAT CATCH!
IMMA GREAT CATCH!

[a girl opens the window]

what?

IMMA GREAT CATCH!

[she throws a packet of ketchup at my chest]


...


[she ] apparently not


[window closes]


...

it was almost my turn up to bat

i stacked as many donuts on three bats as i could

i swung them all at once holding in my breathe and flexing out my chest

the guy before me strikes out

i drop two bats
and slide all the donuts off the chosen one

pulling up my pants i spit toward the away teams dug out giving them a simultaneous wink and a smirk

standing over the plate i kick the dust off of home a few times with my right foot then i kick it in the ground
not sure why
i just know i saw a few pro's do that before

the pitcher bends over so i bend over
squeezing one out in the catchers mask

as the pitcher winds up i choke up

he pitches and i swing and stop the bat with the tip of the bat facing the pitcher

the ball bounces off the tip of the bat and lands inbetween the catcher and the pitcher although closer to the catcher so the pitcher rams into the catcher and they fall down

i start to walk to first base

as the pitcher begins to stumble upward i start running around first to second

the pitcher shaking his head between second and first a few times decides to throw it to first base

i make it to second base and start running to third base

the first baseman looks at third and throws it to the now returned catcher at home

as i am about to slide into third i see the catcher throw the ball to third so i run past third as the third baseman trips over third base

(i tried to tell my little league coach years ago they should have made bases one two three like home because it would be alot safer but did they listen?)

so as i am still running home i take off my helmet thinking i got this

thats when i could not remember what happened after that

as the first thing i remember is my eyes opening up in a white cold room with a few blurry people scowling over me i say

"what are you all looking at?

TAKE ME HOME"