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Maybe I read too many romance stories of how an ordinary woman meets an extraordinary man and some luck and fate and maybe destiny, or maybe the heavens wanted it to happen, and they ended up loving each other and living together... like in most fairy tales... "and they lived happily ever after..."

I know that in reality, it does not always happen like that. I was never jealous of those ladies in every story I read. I never dreamed of meeting a handsome man to fall in love with me. I never hoped to meet and fall in love with a very intelligent man. I never fantasized about meeting a millionaire or a billionaire who can buy a lot of things... no, not those...

Do you know what I envied the most? It is the one who would cry for a woman when she is gone when he loses her. The one who would fight her and fight for her when someone would even try to grab her attention from him. One who would be selfish enough to say, "You are mine" would not let her get away even if he thinks it would mean her happiness and even if it would crush him but would be selfish enough to stop her because she is his happiness too.

I am not Cinderella who has a wicked stepmother and stepsisters. I am not cursed like a sleeping beauty waiting for a kiss to wake up. I do not need to be imprisoned in a big castle and tame a wild beast. I am not a damsel in distress rather, I am just a woman who is dreaming of finding one true love to last her lifetime. One she could love from the highest of heavens, to the deepest sea, wider than the universe, beyond the grave and afterlife... one she could love more than life itself...

I think you meant bulalo?

I am sure you've tried the food mixes you mentioned and you cannot deny that as odd as they may seem... they are rather good.

Truly between bulalo abd nilaga, not much different other than ingredients. Now... that made me crave bulalo

Mind without thoughts

Body without a soul

Heart without love

Lips without words

Paper with empty space

Pen without ink

Us without u

Why do I want to stay...

I love you so, so, so much
I miss us like I never missed us before
I am happiest and greatest when I am with you
I am hoping for a miracle that one day you'll change your mind and would tell me the words I long to hear, "I love you"

I am happiest, content, kind, and more when i have you
Life is exciting in all aspects
Our great conversations, the never ending stories and laughter, the things i learn from you, the way I feel proud just knowing someone like you

I am always hopeful, thankful, and grateful
You are my friend, my very best friend
I can tell you everything that is in my head, in my heart, and in my soul... knowing you'll always understand me
I will continue loving you no matter how much it hurts

Staying with you will make me happiest. I know, I will never find another one like you. I can't let go, I won't let go. The logical part of my mind says to go, the rest of me is leading me to stay.

I really do not want to lose you. I don't want to regret it because I walked away and lost all the beautiful things we have.

Not hearing your voice anymore, not seeing your handsome face - your gorgeousness. not be able to feel proud anymore with your accomplishments. Not being able to share my stories with you, losing someone who actually listens or reads them.

I want to explore all possibilities. For the first time in my life, I am loving someone not by choice, not an option but it is because everything in me is telling me it is right, it feels right.

You are my fantasies and all my realities. I saw and I still see myself growing old with you. My mind, my heart, and my soul, still believe we could be real one day. I just want to stay and never let go.

Why should I walk away...

I love you like so, so, so much and it will never go away or even fade even just a tiny bit
I miss us and I will always will
I am saddest and loneliest in a way I have never been before
I am hoping for a miracle of one day you'll change your mind and hear you say my favorite words again, "I love you" when I know they will never come again
I lost everything that is good in me
lie has never been this dull

A day could be unforgiving, real laughter is hard to come by - just whatever happens or comes my way

Losing my friend, my very best friend. The beautiful mind is slowly dying because I have to filter my words, hide my feelings, and control my emotions.

I will continue loving you even if it hurts. My feelings will cause discomfort to you. Knowing I will never find another one like you. My mind says, "Go" but my heart says, "Just a little bit more..."

I am so afraid that one day, you'll just disappear on me without a word, without a hint, no goodbyes, like you never happened... like we never happened

I think I may have already missed my chance...

For someone like me whose world revolves around her work and her family and her insecurity is wider than the universe, if not more... who thinks she deserves less than average just because she thinks she didn't have much to offer.

What is the chance for her to find a second chance at love and achieve all of her dreams, her fantasies?

She had long made up her mind that those beautiful things would never happen to her - perhaps not in this lifetime but she is hopeful in another lifetime... that for now - her journal would be the only witness to everything that is inside her mind and all the desires hidden in her heart.

You said you think we still love each other, a bit.

For you it is a bit... only you can say on your part.

On my end, it is still the same... the same as the last day you were mine because I never stopped loving you.

Years have passed and many more years will pass and I will continue to love you just as much as it was before.

It's not because you broke up with me and ended our relationship, it doesn't mean that I have to stop loving you... I know I should but my heart is stubborn. It just won't back down and won't listen because in it's very core, it is still silently wishing for another chance of happiness.

What a crazy heart, yeah?

All the things that you did for your ex, don't take them against him. Did he force you to put his name on your policy or you applying to four poaitions at your company? You said you did them in the hopes of building a life together...

Doing so, I am assuming at one point made you happy? We don't hold the future in the palms of our hands. You may have planned a future for both of you but the universe might have something else written for you.

Don't hold grudges instead be happy with the memories you have shared together however long or short-lived it may have been, It was at one point, the best thing that ever happened to you. If he is happy, be happy for him.

Moving on and letting go does not happen overnight, it takes time... so give yourself a time to mourn the love you have lost and prepare yourself for something that might come your way.

Good luck and all the best to you!

Thank you, JulieABush!

You know, hearing that voice message again (and again, and again, and again) took me back to the very first time I listened to it. How it brought so much joy in my heart and tears on my eyes only because I felt so much loved by you... at that time when things are real...

Last week, when you sent me those hearts... I smiled and became happy after so long...

When you said the words, "I love you" two times, God, it was beautiful. For a moment I lived again... for a brief moment, I lived in our world... my happiest place.

I didn't tell you the same, "I love you" because you already know that. That feeling never died, it never went away even after all these years.

You have no idea how happy you made me feel last week. It might be just another drunken night with you but for me it amounts to a short moment of happiness I can keep in a lifetime of memories.

The love I am feeling for you is always with me since the very firat moment I chatted with you... that silent wish, the prayer I said, it is always with me, etched in my memories, embedded in my heart.

You, my loves will always be my one true love. I still love you... so much more now than before and I don't even know why...

Thank you, JulieABush!

Thank you, Carlos

How much tears do you need to shed before it
wash away all the hurts and pains?

When you surrender yourself to love, you must
be prepared to get your heart broken. Equal
space for love, happiness, contentment,
sadness, hurt, and pain.

True love does not happen to everyone...only to
those who are lucky and blessed so embrace it
while you have it, enjoy it, cherish it...fear it...

You rocked my world, did i even leave a dent in
yours, even just a tiny dot?

Loving you in silence, loving you from
afar..hiding myself behind my words.

In your world we are over, in my world you're
still mine...still loving you beyond words could
ever say...

Hi Paul! Thank you for your tip, i will definitely keep that in mind if i ever wish to write poetry... however, what i have been posting here is not in any way meant to be a poem. They were notes, letters, messages sent to an ex-boyfriend from a long time ago... would the revised message below pass the general rule you mentioned?

you are right though - as a reader there is something missing - because as i am reading my words, i am also missing him so freaking much!

Concrete words, my heart will whisper in the wind, concrete words
concrete words, the words my lips failed to say to you, concrete words

concrete words, hoping the wind will carry them through, concrete words
concrete words, and whisper them in your ears, concrete words
concrete words, loud enough that your heart would feel, concrete words
concrete words, the exact feelings, concrete words
concrete words, my heart wishes to convey, concrete words

concrete words, i love you beyond words could ever say, concrete words

Thank you, JulieABush!

My heart will whisper in the wind the words my lips failed to say to you and hoping the wind will carry them through and whisper them in your ears loud enough that your heart would feel the exact feelings my heart wishes to convey... "I love you beyond words could ever say!"

It doesn't have to be in a professional field - i believe the countries you mentioned have a lot factories/manufacturing industries and they are constantly hiring people from other countries. you may want to search job/companies online who are willing to support or provide work permit/visa. Good luck!

Maybe a working permit instead? If the other party has the means to support you by giving you a working permit instead... maybe that is an option.

LOL, savage!

Lover's Moon by Glenn Frey - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GXQYTUdJmmI