ooo now thats mean...true but mean...lol but great advise...

But,I'm sure you get this all the time as well so I'll just be another guy to add to list ...YOU, are a very beautiful woman! Have you ever got up early enough to listen and watch how the world wakes up just before dawn? How the sun slowly rises and brings life around you as nature wakes? it really is an amazing moment that should be experienced let alone shared! From a mountain top its even more spectacular! Your smile is like that! iwish you the best of luck in your search...I only wish I was 20 years younger

and I bet you just took your helmet off too...lol

Hmmm not to toss a hook into the discussion here but if we look back upon all the writings of men and the references to the "GODS" we do find that they all agree on one thing and that is a long time ago they came from the heavens to create mankind. Could it be possible that all the dif races here were indeed planted to show the universe that dif races could or would live together? We are a race that mimics are forfathers and we have this incredible urge to seek out new and unique places to live. Even now there is discussions of a Mars colony. There was a book I read a few years ago that all I can remember is it refered to our planet as an experiment. It even went as far to suggest that this may be how the Universe is seeded with life.
That our life here is unique but not to the universe. That our "Father" is indeed universal and we are just another planet they found that can supprot life. I know it sounds far fetched but it can explain alot of the different beliefs from basic wiccan to Muslim. I wish I could remember the name of the author. it was a GREAT book. It makes you think.

An Irishman went to confession in St. Patrick's Catholic Church."Father," he confessed, "It has been one month since my last confessional. I had sex with Nookie Green twice last month."




The priest told the sinner, "You are forgiven. Go out and say three Hail Mary's."





Soon thereafter, another Irishman entered the confessional. "Father, it has been two months since my last confession, I've had sex with Nookie Green twice a week for the past two months." This time, the priest questioned, "Who is this Nookie Green?"





"A new woman in the neighborhood," the sinner replied. "Very well," sighed the priest. "Go out and say ten Hail Mary's." At mass the next morning, as the priest prepared to deliver the sermon, a tall, voluptuous, drop-dead gorgeous redheaded woman entered the sanctuary.





The eyes of every man in the church fell upon her as she slowly sashayed up the aisle and sat down right in front of the priest. Her dress was green and very short, and she wore matching, shiny emerald-green shoes.





The priest and the altar boy gasped as the woman in the green dress and matching green shoes sat with her legs spread slightly apart, but enough. The priest turned to the altar boy and whispered, "Is that Nookie Green?" The bug-eyed altar boy couldn't believe his ears but managed to calmly reply, "No Father, I think it's just the reflection off her shoes."

A Marine and a sailor were sitting in a bar one day arguing over which was the superior service.

After a swig of beer the Marine says,'Well, we had Iwo Jima.'


Arching his eyebrows, the sailor replies, 'We had the Battle of Midway.
'
Not entirely true', responded the Marine. 'Some of those pilots were Marines, in fact, Henderson Field on Guadalcanal was named after a Marine pilot killed at the Battle of Midway.


'The sailor responds, 'Point taken.'


The Marine then says, 'We Marines were born at Tunn Tavern!'


The sailor, nodding agreement, says, 'But we had John Paul Jones.'


The argument continued until the sailor comes up with what he thinks will end the discussion. With a flourish of finality he says......'The Navy invented sex!'


The Marine replies, 'That is true, but it was the Marines who introduced it to women.'

One day, while going to the store, I passed by a nursing home.
On the front lawn were six old ladies lying naked on the grass, Kathy, Arlene, Nancy , Lacey, Franca and Rosie.
I thought this was a bit unusual, but continued on my way to the store.
On my return trip, I passed the same nursing home with the same six old ladies lying naked on the lawn.
This time my curiosity got the best of me, and I went inside to talk to the Nursing Home Administrator.
'Do you know there are six elderly ladies lying naked on your front lawn?'
'Yes,' she said. 'They're retired prostitutes, and they're having a yard sale.

The couple were 85 years old, and had been married for sixty years. Though they were far from rich, they managed to get by because they watched their pennies.

Though not young, they were both in very good health, largely due to the wife's insistence on healthy foods and exercise for the last decade.


One day, their good health didn't help when they went on a rare va cation and their plane crashed, sending them off to Heaven.


They reached the pearly gates, and St. Peter escorted them inside. He took them to a beautiful mansion, furnished in gold and fine silks, with a fully stocked kitchen and a waterfall in the master bath. A maid could be seen hanging their favorite clothes in the closet.


They gasped in astonishment when he said, 'Welcome to Heaven. This will be your home now.'


The old man asked Peter how much all this was going to cost. 'Why, nothing,' Peter replied, 'remember, this is your reward in Heaven.'


The old man looked out the window and right there he saw a championship golf course, finer and more beautiful than any ever built on Earth.
'What are the greens fees?,' grumbled the old man.


'This is heaven,' St. Peter replied. ' You can play for free, every day.'Next they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish buffet lunch, with every imaginable cuisine laid out before them, from seafood to steaks to exotic deserts, free flowing beverages.


'Don't even ask,' said St. Peter to the man. This is Heaven, it is all free for you to enjoy.'


The old man looked around and glanced nervously at his wife.


'Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol foods, and the decaffeinated tea?,' he asked.'


That's the best part,' St. Peter replied. 'You can eat and drink as much as you like of whatever you like, and you will never get fat or sick. This is Heaven!'


The old man pushed, 'No gym to work out at?'


'Not unless you want to,' was the answer.


'No testing my sugar or blood pressure or...'


'Never again. All you do here is enjoy yourself.


'The old man glared at his wife and said, 'You and your bran muffins. We could have been here ten years ago!'

A man went to church one day and afterward he stopped to shake the Preacher's hand. He said: "Preacher, I'll tell you, that was a damn fine sermon. Damn good!"
The Preacher said, "Thank you Sir, but I'd rather you didn't use profanity."
The man said, "I was so damn impressed with that sermon I put five thousand dollars in the offering plate!"
The Preacher said, "No sh*t!"

A big shot attorney had to spend a couple of days in the hospital. He was
a royal pain to the nurses because he bossed them around just like he did
his staff. None of the hospital staff wanted to have anything to do with
him.
The head nurse was the only one who could stand up to him. She came into
his room and announced, 'I have to take your temperature.' After
complaining for several minutes, he finally settled down, crossed his
arms and opened his mouth.
'No, I'm sorry,' the nurse stated, 'but for this reading, I can't use an
oral thermometer.' This started another round of complaining but
eventually he rolled over and bared his behind.
After feeling the nurse insert the thermometer, he heard her announce, 'I
have to get something. Now you stay JUST LIKE THAT until I get back!'
She left the door to his room open on her way out. He cursed under his
breath as he heard people walking past his door, laughing.
After a half hour, the man's doctor came into the room.
'What's going on here?' asked the doctor.
Angrily, the man answered, 'What's the matter, Doc? Haven't you ever seen
someone having their temperature taken?'
After a pause, the doctor confessed.....
'Not with a carnation.'

IT HAS TO BE THE LEOPARD LEOTARD!!!!!!!!!! it is such aturn on!!!! Me? If someone wants to see my pic I figure they will ask...I look for witty people and besides how do you know it really is them?hmmmm?...paranoia does work...just because they dont notice ya dont mean they aint out ot ge tcha...

I was on a businees trip In Toledo, Ohio and thought I would go down to the hotel Nite club and get a night cap jus tto help me sleep. There was a good group of people there and the DJ was good...I saw this sweet looking little lady sitting by the bar looking at me so I walked up and asked her to dance when she looks at me and screams "Go to bed with you!!!! What kind of woman do you think I am?" Stunned I started to say that was not what i..and she screamed it again and said get away before she has me thrown out of the bar!! Boy you talk about embarressed... I quickly walked back to my table and sat down...Damn that was bad.... Just as I was getting up to leave she walks up to me and says. Excuse me sir I'm sorry but you see I'm a Psychology student at Toledo University and what I just did was only an experiment to see how people in a crowd would react to a woman alone in a bar when she is confronted. I must say it went very well didnt it?..I said very loudly "$200 Dollars are you crazy?...moral? Dont screw with an old man!!!!!!!!!lol

Anybody in the Southern KY, North Tennessee area? Come on and lets chat...I love these mountains and am looking for someone who likes to walk them too...

A state trooper pulls a blonde over on a lonely back road and says, "Ma'am, is there a reason why you're weaving all over the road?"
The woman replied, "Oh officer, thank goodness you're here! I almost had an accident! I looked up and there was a tree right in front of me. So, I swerved to the left and there was another tree in front of me. Then, I swerved to the right and there was another tree in front of me!"

The officer reached through the side window to the rear view mirror, and explained, "Ma'am... that's your air freshener."

cough cough thanks baby...hack hack hack...umm could some one hand me back my lung...?

rich old codger with one foot in the grave searching for an heiress to be Here's my list of requirments- Must love a $60,000 car to drive around and flirt with everyone..... Must be able to fullfill fantasies in bed for at least two minutes cause that as long as I stay awake till meds kick in....In exchange... you get whats left of my estate when I'm gone..(it may be honeymoon night too cause ticker aint so good...umm hurry with reply wont last much longg.... gasp, cough, gasp...

at least it will be a free trip to Chicago!!!!...
there you go she could tell him in front of the world...

I could not have put it better...

I have one rule in life...DONT under any circumstance say you love someone and not mean it !!!!!!!!!!!!

ok,ok, This is what she needs to do.... First take off the Fiance's ring... place it on the kitchen counter...go to the bedroom pack all of her clothes and any other personal stuff... place this into a car or have afriend come over and pick it up.... when he comes home take him to the kitchen and tell him its over...then leave... Cause she is most definately not in love with him...and if she doesnt want to do this ...too bad she needs to go...