Two buddies were sharing drinks while discussing their wives.

"Do you and your wife ever do it doggie style?" .

"Well ... not exactly." his friend replied, "She's more into the trick dog aspect of it."

"Oh, I see, kinky, huh?"

"Well ... not exactly ... I sit up and beg and she rolls over and plays dead."

A LOVE STORY


This 80 year old woman was arrested for shop lifting.
When she went before the judge in Cincinnati he asked her,
"What did you steal?" She replied, "A can of peaches."

The judge then asked her why she had stolen the can of peaches
and she replied that she was hungry. The judge then asked her
how many peaches were in the can. She replied, 6.

The judge then said, "I will then give you 6 days in jail."

Before the judge could actually pronounce the punishment, the
woman's husband spoke up and asked the judge if he could say
something. The judge said, "What is it?"

The husband said, "She also stole a can of peas."

The Three Little Pigs
>
>
>
>
> Three Little Pigs went out to dinner one night.
>The waiter came and took their drink order.
>
> "I would like a Sprite," said the first little
>piggy.
>
> "I would like a Coke," said the second little
>piggy.
>
> "I want beer, lots and lots of beer," said the
>third little piggy.
>
> The drinks were brought out and the waiter took
>their orders for dinner.
>
> "I want a nice big steak," said the first piggy.
>
>
> "I would like the salad plate," said the second
>piggy.
>
> "I want beer, lots and lots of beer," said the
>third little piggy.
>
> The meals were brought out and a while later the
>waiter approached the table and asked if the piggies would
>
> like any dessert.
>
>
> "I want a banana split," said the first piggy.
>
>
> "I want a root beer float," said the second piggy.
>
>
> "I want beer, lots and lots of beer," exclaimed
>the third little piggy.
>
> "Pardon me for asking," said the waiter to the
>third little piggy," but why have you only ordered beer all evening?"
>
> You're gonna LOVE me for this....
>
>
> The third piggy says -
>
> "Well, somebody has to go 'Wee, wee, wee', all the way
>home!"

A man and his wife were driving home one cold
Night when the wife asks her husband to stop
The car. There was a baby skunk lying at the
Side of the road, and she got out to see if it
Was still alive.

It was alive, and she said to her husband,
"It's nearly frozen to death. Can we take it
With us, get it warm, and let it go in the morning?"

He says, "O.K., get in the car with it."

"Where shall I put it to keep warm?" the wife asks.

He says, "Put it in between your legs.
It's nice and warm there."

Giggling she asks, "But what about the smell?"

He replies, "Just hold his little nose."

The man is expected to recover, but the skunk she
Used to beat him with died at the scene.

> A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade
> students. "Human beings are the only animals that
> stutter", she says.
>
>
> A little girl raises her hand. "I had a kitty-cat who
> stuttered", She volunteered .
>
> The teacher, knowing how precious some of these
> stories could become, asked the girl to describe the
> incident.
>
> "Well", she began, "I was in the back yard with my
> kitty and the Rottweiler that lives next door got a
> running start and before we Knew it, he jumped over
> the fence into our yard!"
>
> "That must've been scary", said the teacher.
>
> "It sure was", said the little girl. "My kitty raised
> his back, went 'Fffff, Fffff, Fffff'...And before he
> could say 'f**k', the Rottweiler ate him!"

Talking USMC Dog!



A guy was driving around the back woods of Tennessee and he saw a sign in
front of a broken down shanty-style house: "Talking Dog for Sale."


He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the
backyard.


The guy goes into the back yard and sees a nice looking Beagle sitting
there. "You talk?" he asks.


"Yep," the Beagle replies.


After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says "So,
what's your story?"


The Beagle looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I
was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA and
they had me sworn into the toughest branch of the armed services...the
United States Marines. You know one of their nicknames is "The Devil
Dogs."


In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in
rooms with spies and world leaders; because no one figured a dog would be
eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years
running, but the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't
getting any younger. So, I decided to settle down.


I retired from the Corps (8 dog years is 56 Corps years) and signed up for
a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near
suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible
dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. I got married, had a mess of
puppies, and now I'm just retired."


The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for
the dog.


"Ten dollars," the guy says.


"Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so
cheap?"


"Because he's such a bull ****ter ... He never did any of that ****. He
was in the Navy!"

Just a big hello to all the ladies from Richmond south to Jellico,Tn. and from Manchester to Somerset and whitley city, Drop me a line to say hello..
Dave

I collect Funny and unusual cartoons and pics...I know there are a lot out there...If you can post them here..If they are more adult oriented please send them to me at davew42503@yahoo.com Thanks to all who do...


Dave