Below are four ( 4 ) questions and a bonus question. You have to
answer them instantly. You can't take your time, answer all of them
immediately. OK?


Let's find out just how clever you really are....


Ready? GO!!! (scroll dow n)


First Question:

Y ou are participating in a race. You overtake the second
person. What position are you in?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Answer: If you answered that you are first, then you are
absolutely wrong! If you overtake the second person and you take his
place, you are second!

Try not to screw up next time. Now answer the second question,
but don't take as much time as you took for the first question, OK ?

Second Question:
I f you overtake the last person, then you are...? (scroll down)


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Answer: If you answered that you are second to last, then you
are wrong again. Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST person?

You're not very good at this, are you?

Third Question:
V ery tricky arithmetic! Note: This must be done in your head
only . Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Try it.

Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000 . Now add 30 ..
Add another 1000 . Now add 20 . Now add another 1000 Now add 10 . What
is the total?


Scroll down for answer.....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Did you get 5000 ?
The correct answer is actually 4100.

If you don't believe it, check it with a calculator! Today is
definitely not your day, is it? Maybe you'll get the last question
right... Maybe.

Fourth Question:

Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini, 4.
Nono. What is the name of the fifth daughter?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Did you Answer Nunu? NO! Of course ! it isn't
Her name is Mary. Read the question again!


Okay, now the bonus round:

A mute person goes into a shop and wants to buy a toothbrush. By
imitating the action of brushing his teeth he successfully expresses
himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done.
Next, a blind man comes into the shop who wants to buy a pair of
sunglasses; how does HE indicate what he wants?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~

He just has to open his mouth and ask...
It's really very simple.

An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam.

The doctor gave the man a jar and said, take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow.

The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.

The doctor asked what happened and the man explained, well doc it's like this. First I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing.

Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in then with her teeth out, still nothing.

We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing.

The doctor was shocked! You asked your neighbor?

The old man replied, Yep none of us could get the jar open.

Proofreading is a dying art, wouldn't you say?

Man Kills Self Before Shooting
Wife and Daughter


This one I caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and called the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this. It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible!!! They put in a correction the next day.




I just couldn't help but sending this along. Too funny.
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
No crap, really? Ya think?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Now that's taking things a bit far!
-----------------------------------------------------------
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
What a guy!
---------------------------------------------------------------
Miners Refuse to Work after Death
No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's!
------------------------------------------------------
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
See if that works any better than a fair trial!
----------------------------------------------------------
War Dims Hope for Peace
I can see where it might have that effect!
----------------------------------------------------------------
If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
Ya think?!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Who would have thought!
----------------------------------------------------------------
Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; PoliceSuspect Homicide
They may be on to something!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?
----------------------------------------------------------
Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
He probably IS the battery charge!
----------------------------------------------
New Study of Obesity Looks for LargerTest Group
Weren't they fat enough?!
-----------------------------------------------
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
That's what he gets for eating those beans!
---------------- ---------------------------------
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Do they taste like chicken?
****************************************
Local High SchoolDropoutsCut in Half
Chainsaw Massacre all over again!
***************************************************
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
Boy, are they tall!
*******************************************
And the winner is....
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

Did I read that right?
***************************************************

i know that poor toilet i still have the clipping and have it hanging lol

John the toilet
Laid to rest at
Utah restaurant

CENTERVILLE, Utah (AP)
--John, a porcelain commode
gunned down in accidental
shooting at a fast restaurant’s
bathroom, has died.
His age was not immediately know.

The toilet was shattered by a bullet
Jan, 12 when a man’s gun fell from its
Holster as he was pulling up his pants,
Police said. Police do not plan to file
Criminal charges in connection with
The incident.

Christian Martinez, manager of the
Carl’sJr. Where john was gunned down

Held a memorial service Friday at the
Restaurant .He gave away bottles of John’s
Favorite toilet cleaner,Kaboom Bowl Blaster,
To the eatery’s first patrons.

A bountiful flower shop provided
A large floral arrangement.

”In all my years, I can say without a doubt
that I have never delivered for a toilet.”
Said deliveryman Doug Gramham,
“but I thought it was the funniest thing
I’ve ever heard. I got a kick out of it.”

Remnants of John hit and cut the gun owner’s
Arm , but he was not seriously injured.

Police blamed John’s death on the gun and style of the holster
The man was using.
‘He was survived by the men’s urinal and wash sink,”
said Martinez.”He left us way to soon.”

me its simple never get involved with some one who throws the blame on you for something you never did lesson learn very well .

it realy depends i have dated women older and younger but if u choose to date some one much younger than you i have to think is this going to work is that person mature enough to be in a relationship questions to ask your self .

I have seen some that play games run wild and dont know the meaning of how a relationship works its a 50-50 deal but any how thats my opion

well it was past on to me by a good source and there has been hackers out there who relase nasty virus in emails through myspace etc regardless what was posted u can be never to safe on the web when theres hackers and virus going around all iam doing is passing it on its up to the person if they choose to believe it or not well take care cant say i didnt try to warn others out there i had friends who had the pcs hacked in to already and iam a computer exspert i already had to format 3 pcs already do to a wicket virus wich was cause by a email not fun

I M P O R T A N T W A R N I NG ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! PLEASE
> READ!
>
>
>
>
> Heed the warning. It sounds awful!!!
>
> Anyone-using Internet mail such as Yahoo, Hotmail, AOL
> and so on.
>
> This information arrived this morning, Direct from both
> Microsoft and Norton..
>
> Please send it to everybody you know who has access to
> the Internet
>
>
>
> You may receive an apparently harmless e-mail with a
> Power Point presentation ' Life is Beautiful '
>
> If you receive it DO NOT OPEN TH E FILE UNDER ANY
> CIRCUMSTANCES, and delete it immediately.
>
> If you open this file, a message will appear on your
> screen saying: 'It is too late now; your life is no
> longer beautiful.'
>
> Subsequently you will LOSE EVERYTHING IN YOUR PC, And
> the person who sent it to you will gain access to your
> name, e-mail and password.
>
> This is a new virus which started to circulate on
> Saturday afternoon.
>
> AOL has already confirmed the severity, and the anti
> virus software's are not capable of destroying it.
>
> The virus has been created by a hacker who calls
> himself 'life owner'.
>
> PLEASE SEND A COPY OF THIS E-MAIL TO ALL YOUR FRIENDS,
> And ask them to PASS IT ON IMMEDIATELY!
>
> THIS HAS BEEN CONFIRMED BY SNOPES
>

God i hate the new york yankees lol

now tell me what is wrong with this pic lol



to many dounuts lol

Would that be the same as Hooters?


i can be if u think about it lol

as ky fried chicken say finger licking good lol