A young guy from Texas moves to California and goes to one of those big "everything under one roof" stores looking for a job. The manager asked, "Do you have any sales experience?"

The kid said, "Sure, I was a salesman back home in Texas."

The boss liked the kid so he gave him the job. "You start tomorrow. I?ll come down after we close and see how you did."

His first day on the job was rough but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down to see how things went.

"How many sales did you make today?"

The young man replied without hesitating, "One."

The boss said, "Just one? Our sales people average 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the sale for?"

The kid said, "$101,237.64."

The boss said, "$101,237.64?! What the hell did you sell?!"

The kid said, "First I sold him a small fish hook. Then I sold him a medium fish hook. Then I sold him a larger fish hook. Then I sold him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down at the coast, so I told him he was gonna need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him that twin-engine Chris Craft. Then he said he didn?t think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4x4 Blazer."

Amazed, the boss said, "A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a boat and a truck?"

"No, he came here to buy a box of tampons for his wife and I said, 'Well, your weekend's shot, you might as well go fishing.'"

so bad... IT WAS GOOD!!

LOL well.. it sounded good!!

flocking???????????

Ever tried pineapple rings on the grill??? yummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Was it good for you????

I'm doing good thanks... accept I should be cleaning and doing home work... and im not!!!

REM!!!

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{ CY !!!! }}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

A boy and his date were parked on a back road some distance from town, doing what boys and girls do on back roads some distance from town. Things were getting hot and heavy when the girl stopped the boy.

"I really should ave mentioned this earlier, but I'm actually a hooker and I charge $20 for sex," she said.

The boy just looked at her for a couple of seconds, but then reluctantly paid her, and they did their thing.

After the cigarette, the boy just sat in the driver's seat looking out the window. "Why aren't we going anywhere?" asked the girl.

"Well, I should have mentioned this before, but I'm actually a taxi driver, and the fare back to town is $25."

It was time for an elderly gentleman to be put into a nursing home, as his grown children could no longer care for him.

After a week, the children went to visit their father at the nursing home. During the visit, the father leaned to the right, and a nurse quickly came over and propped him up with a pillow. A little while later, he leaned to the left, and again a nurse came and propped him up with another pillow.

The man's children were amazed at how attentive the home seemed to be, and questioned their father on how he liked it there.

He responded, "I've been treated well, but I've got to tell you....they sure don't want you to fart here.

Emily Sue passed away and Bubba called 911. The 911 operator told Billy Bob that she would send someone out right away.

Where do you live?" asked the operator.

Billy Bob replied, "At the end of Eucalyptus Drive."

The operator asked, "Can you spell that for me?"

There was a long pause and finally Billy Bob said, "How 'bout if I drag her over to Oak Street and you pick her up there?"

I do just fine til someone cuts me off, flips me off, or pisses me off!!!

I dont know about all that.... But I hear that the trouser trout is one you really need to be careful of

Thats what I said when I pushed him!!!!

PARACHUTE!!!!!!










Only used once, never opened, small stain.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO the best way to get over a guy is to bury him 6 feet under your house!!!

The office I work on is on the third floor... and we only have 3 floors...and have only ever had 3 floors

So today, I'm waiting for the elevator down to help a lil old lady and this older, but not old gentleman asks.. you going down???

I said nope... you might want to wait for the next one

So... I take the old lady down, go to cafe' and get my soda for lunch.. go back up... and he is still standing there!!!!

So instead of saying.. "I'm sorry sir, I was kidding, these elevators only go down because there is no upper floors".... I just say































"STILL WAITING HUH?"

He loved me for my leg!!

I told him I was very happy he liked it sooooooooooo much, cuz it was the only one I had... never heard from him again... not sure why!!