You are an adult now, right? Your mother does not own you.

She will disagree with your decision out of racism, but you will know better because you understand that times are-a-changin. The world is moving toward a more co-existant mindset and your mom ain't willin to be a part of it.

It's not her fault, though. She was raised with certain values different from your own, and they have been crystalized within her value system. As a younger individual your mindset is more fluid and adaptible, but understand that you will be in her shoes one day because it's something that happens naturally with age.

For now, though, know that your mom doesn't possess your fluid mindscape as she did when she was your age, and disregard the values of racism that she imposes on you. disregard what the world says when it tells you not to "mix God's rainbow into an ugly gray" like the KKK says... because that's not part of what the world is progressing toward.

feel free to date whomever you please and don't apologize for these decisions.

Read whatever you found on Sexual Selection and the Descent of Man - Campbell... the page after the cover page says "Parental Investment and Sexual Selection" by Trivers lol

yeah its confusing i know

you may have missed my point because i used the word "spandrel." it means by-product, roughly.

so yes, i am actually agreeing with your point that we have by-products, but i am saying that those by-products are a RESULT of natural selection and are therefore still rooted in their original adaptive mechanisms.

as for novelty... u may actually be quite surprised to find that people who are exceptionally dumb and people without limbs can actually very successful in being attractive to women. it's all in the attitude. if they treat their own differences like a curse, it becomes a curse by being detrimental to their attractiveness. if they treat their own differences like a gift, however, it becomes a gift and actually aids in their attractiveness. Attractive novelty comes with a great feeling of self-worth and healthy pride.

One of the greatest pickup artists i have ever seen (named Sean) is actually only 3 feet tall and confined to a wheelchair due to a medical condition he was born with. He has more confidence than any master pickup artist i have ever seen, and gets laid by a rock star. don't ask me how he performs in bed - i'm just as confused as you could be. it's truly quite amazing and inspirational, though.

oh, and novelty isn't necessarily an indicator of good genes - from what i understand, runaway selection doesn't really have much to do with good genes and adaptivity...

novelty is certainly not the end-all answer to attraction, but i am certainly saying that it's a big part of the puzzle.

as for the triune brain theory, i never said that the 3 brains work separately... i don't see where youre getting at here. i only explained the purpose of each brain's evolution.

the two most cliche'd and most well-known kisses:
1. The First Kiss
2. "You may kiss the bride"

1. She's never done this before... she's in her preteens, right after hitting puberty... she wonders what it's like and the curiosity is occupying her thoughts every day before she decides that she wants to try this thing called "kissing." she imagines almost every possible scenario of her first kiss, but she knows that she cannot imagine what it would really be like if she didn't actualy experience it. it's a land of unknown and she wants to jump right in, but she holds herself back, full of worries of what could go wrong... what others may think of her... how she might see herself afterward... but she knows how romantic and wonderful it looks in the movies, and she knows that she likes the feelings she gets when prince charming finally kisses the princess, and she wants that feeling to be more real for her... but she doesn't know what will really happen... then, she's sitting next to her crush or first boyfriend on the park bench, and all of these thoughts about kissing collected from days, weeks, months, or even years are running through her mind all at once... and as he turns to face her and looks into her eyes, she blushes... and then...

that's called sexual tension.

2. It's finally the day to be with Mr. Right for the rest of eternity, and she's standing there face to face with him in front of dozens or even hundreds of people. She knows that she should be feeling nervous about being in front of so many people, but she doesnt because nothing else in the world matters as she and the groom just gaze deeply into each other's eyes as they wait for that magical moment... the religion leader dude is reciting a blessing and talks on and on about the couple being together, but restrains them from actually locking lips til he says go. it is customary for the bride and groom to wait until the dude says "you may now kiss the bride" and both of them just cant wait to do it. they know that they belong together and they will feel complete once they kiss... but that completeness is restrained from them for the time being as they must go through the customary "I do's." They know it's coming, and their lips long for each other's. the dude says "you may now kiss the bride," and then...

that's also called sexual tension

getting the idea? starting to see a pattern?

here's another scenario:

she's on date with a guy she met a few nights ago at the local pub. she actually likes this guy because he made a great first impression by showing his fun side - she feels like they have a lot in common and that they have a lot to talk about (because he was building rapport and multiple threading his speech patterns hehe), so she actually shows up to the location early to make sure that she catches him. however, she doesn't want to seem desperate, so she takes a walk around the block and back in hopes that it will seem like she came on time or later. she's giving herself a little pressure to make a decent impression on this guy already. they meet outside a coffee shop, and greet each other with a hug. she notices that he smells good from the right amount and type of cologne, and it stimulates her senses. she is instantly relaxed, but she still wants to keep her head in the game here. he says that he needs to stop by his place (conveniently just across the street) for a second because he forgot something, so the two of them step inside for a moment. she immediately gets a stronger impression of him from seeing the inside of his home, and every thought possible enters her head: "why is he bringing me to his home already? what it be like to have sex on that couch? wow i shouldn't even be thinking that! hm he keeps his place fairly neat but i bet i could make a lot of improvements in the furniture arrangement etc... hey im already thinking in relationship mode here... wow what could happen between me and this guy? i just don't know..." he grabs his watch or whatever he forgot and takes her out. she thinks "so... we just came into his house and left and he didn't even try making a move on me while i was right there in the lion's den... am i even attractive to this guy? that wouldn't even make sense... i'm hot and i know it... did i wear the wrong dress? well i wouldn't have done anything sexual with him right then and there but this is making me wonder... what does he have planned for our date?" By the middle of the date her mind is full of unanswered questions as if he had sent her mixed signals the entire time (maybe he did that on purpose... hmmm...) and she isn't sure of how he feels for her but she's somewhat confident that he likes her... but she really... really... really wants to know for sure. he leans toward her to look at something interesting behind her while they are talking and she feels a rush of dopamine surging throughout her body. is this the kiss? but then he leans back and continues talking to her as if nothing happened... because nothing happened. he does this a second time, and this time she feels an even stronger rush than before because it had been taken away the first time. By the end of the night they are looking up at the stars and talking about what they thought of constellations when they were little kids. then he turns to face her, looking into her eyes, and tells her that he thinks it's really cool how she interprets her horoscope constellation. she blushes, and the emotional rush is stronger now than ever before as he leans in toward her. and then, finally...

that's sexual tension. you need to create this.

1. Tell her parents - even if she isn't a minor, she is still one in her head.

2. Consult a professional or call a hotline

3. Make her bored of you

wow...he actually said/did all that? that's quite a shock.

he aint a jerk

he's just got some deep...deep...deeeeeep issues

he's a mental case and you would not be happy with this guy unless you're into that kinky masochism kinda stuff

so yeah... cut off communication with him altogether.

hey gold digger,

maybe he just told her that so he can surprise her with a really special gift when she least expects it

rock

have fun with life

it's called a "joke"

wow...

many people make the mistake of thinking that they have to change themselves or something about themselves as soon as they get into a relationship so that they will ensure that it will work out.

however, consider this: whats the reason you two are together? why would you change that reason?

i once had a dude ask me for advice. he said that he had no problems with getting girlfriends, but he could never keep them. they always dumped him soon after they became bf/gf. i told him exactly why this happened: the girls lost attraction for him because he would try to act nicer to them so that he could ensure the state of the relationship. he basically changed who he was... he changed what was attractive to those girls in the first place, which killed all of his relationships.

after speaking with me he got together with this really cute gymnast girl and they stayed together for a longass time. sucked for me cuz i was actually attracted to her but thats beside the point...

woah who flipped the script here?

lol

every woman has some or many endearing differences. one might think he has to "adapt" to her style to get along with her and see it as a chore... but i see it as an adventure.

this woman seems like she wants a FWB relationship, but you want more. to get what you want, first give her what she wants and more. the best way to a hungry man's heart is through his stomach, and the best way to get to this horny woman's heart is through the sheets. it sounds as though you will have to show her the best time she's ever had in bed and she'll know you're a keeper.

take it or leave it and i wish you the best of luck

AAAND im back.

haha nice try nice guy. oh and nice projection u got goin there (look up freudian defense mechanisms).

to question is to learn - i guess you haven't been much of a fan of either, so i see why you are arguing with me here.

but try wrapping your mind around this if you can: everything in the world is connected.

you may not care about my views, but that doesn't even matter because my advice was originally for Rick, which you had to rudely step in to get in the way of with an unecessary attempt to belittle me.

if i dont even care? oh i LOVE debate. i care
sorry for not letting u get away with that one.

flirting and harassing are VERY

VERY

VERY

VERY

different.

VERY DIFFERENT.

harassment doesn't just allude to sexual topics... they are creepy direct statements of intent that make the other person feel uncomfortable.

flirting involves comfort.

wow you can't be serious. please step up your level of intelligence in the act of debate so that u do not sound like a self-justified preteen who ain't gettin his christmas gifts.
here's the brutal honesty: i know what the hell im talking about when it comes to the realm of sexual topics. i feel completely justified to give advice in these topics. i can recognize recurring patterns in sexual experiences and can offer effective solutions to problems within these patterns. now, how the hell is that wrong?
it is my opinion that i am more human than you because frankly... i know more about being human than you do. prove me wrong.

correction - i was reading into someone's life and shining light upon some options they could take if they thought what i said was applicable, which i was betting it was.

i don't think i'm wrong because i believe i know what i'm talking about when it comes to these kind of situations. have u even been sexually involved with bisexual women?

that would kinda feel as if i were backing away from a challenge, even if it "isn't worth it." i guess i just really like debate and communication lol

or maybe im just against the idea of ignoring people in general... not a very smart thing to do. it decreases communication and increases misunderstandings which lead to crazy things like war. if more people learned to communicate their viewpoints effectively while understanding where others were coming from, a lot of problems would be solved in the world.

i personally think that i know where CaRisLOVE is coming from because it seems as though I used to think like he did when I was in... middle school ...and now I feel like it's my responsibility to communicate my platform so that he can understand me... and then give him more opportunities to fill in any potential holes which may have hindered my understanding of him.

then build it slowly
i mean... thats the only thing that can lead to a genuine kiss anyway... in case u didnt know

who am i to question someone's life?
question everything.
there's nothing wrong with reading into a situation, and i dont believe i have offended rick in any way.
but you... need to stay out of the way and keep your closed mind out of the way so that u do not offend others on a different level.

and coquibella - lol yeah. jeez i havent used myspace in forever.

Hey hey hey relax man. sex is no big deal.
if u dont want a MMF threesome, u might like a MFF threesome (i dunno if those letters are in the right order lol). it aint likely that she'll invite you into one, so u have to initiate and ask her. i wudnt be surprised at all if she were more than open to the idea.
for some reason this feels like its besides the point of this thread, though.

goddammit man quit assuming that im doing nothing but assuming

im pointing out commonalities in patterns, such as your behavior having several correlations with that of a desperate virgin. not saying you are one, but you certainly could be.

think it was the girl's fault??? wtf???

well it sounds like you answered your own question then.

how u feelin about the situation now? any different? better? if not, what do u think is lacking?