No he's not. He was just floating on his back for a bit till I tapped on the glass.

UFF DA!

MY FISH IS DEAD!!!

It was an optional day to go to work. I slept in and chose not too. DOH! I should've gone in. Now I'm bored too. And, stuck cleaning instead.

I'm in a cynical mood too. It's okay. Cupid dislikes me too. Course, my own poor judgement does a lot of screwing up as well. Maybe cupid has just given up on me.

My ex-boyfriend is the reason I have, "no druggies" on my profile.

It would just be nice to have someone to hold me once in a while... to take all the yuckiness away while I'm in his arms. I miss that.

TA DA!!! That lonely cat person is right here! So is Emmy, and Zipper, and Bandit, and next door neighbor kitty visiting, Gunner.

Yup, you didn't have to look far to find that crazy cat lady!

I've been single about 9 months. Ya, sounds pretty pathetic compared to most doesn't it. Course, I could always argue I've been single 18 months... depends on if my loser ex-boyfriend counts or not...

Damn I wish you guys lived in the Central Valley, California.

Ya, back to location... again...

Oh, I enjoy sharing times together as much as the next person. Just the simple enjoyment of figuring out what the best cleaner to use on the bathtub, then trying it out, and complaining afterwards is priceless!

I think I will call it vulnerable times. The times when you let your guard down and are just simply "there" with another person. When you're up to your elbows in flour, or car repair, or redoing the electrical in your home. Or, the obvious, making love-not f------g... making love.

You can't share your vulnerabilities with everyone though. You'll get hurt.

Maybe my guard is up too high. Maybe just for today it will be.

You're thinking of the single life from only one view. The single life also equals less stress. You determine what stress enters your life because your life is not influenced by another persons decisions (or, lack of decisions...)

So, try to look at the positive attributes of being single. That's how I get by.

Ya, the single life does suck sometimes. But, it better to be single than to settle for someone who is not a good fit.

Some men I have met recently definitely fall in love waaaaaay too fast. One had bought me a diamond promise ring before we even met. The other one wanted me to move in with him after 1 date!

I'm not one to feel in a box, or to like other people are making decisions for my life without consulting me or giving me a voice.

See, it's better to be single... or, at least with my current attitude it is.

I've actually thought about turning into the *****y role. I mean, that is who gets the guys anyway. Be a drama queen! But... it is not in me. I will not change because the rest of the world does, I will be true to who I am no matter what. No matter what the cost, I will not do myself false.

Ya, maybe a little stubborn german pride in there somewhere...

The miniscule thing he put me down about was the fact that I did not use punctuation in text messages.

I figured at that point if he was going to be that controlling, I didn't need it in my life anyway.

This weekend was rough too. Drove 3 hours to meet a guy I met here with plans to go Whale Watching this morning. He never showed up because he partyed too much with his friends the night before and didn't leave their place in time to meet me.

Ya know, screw this looking for anyone thing. I got my cats, a great job, a good mind. This looking for a mate thing sucks.

Just a thought...

If you have never loved (which I wish was true for me) then you would not know what you are missing.

Therefore the statement, "It is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all" is false. Because, if you never loved you would not know what you are missing. That is better.

One month ago I went for a job interview in Flagstaff, Arizona, I live in California. I met Al at the Packers game there. We hit it right off and spent 3 days together. I thought he was perfect. We communicated every other day up until last week when he raised his voice to me on the phone, then he put me down. I really had my hopes up... but, in with the distance, and the personality change. Well, bye bye was in order.

It hurts really bad when you get your hopes up, then they crash down. Honestly, I'm getting sick of it. I am beginning to think it is better to be single the rest of my life than to continue to be hurt.

I am having a hard time going around this site-it seems to be breaking up quite frequently. So, I will make this as simple to one statement as I can.

Vikingsfreak: I understand where you are coming from. My x-husband was similar. Only difference is, you have to let her make the mistakes. You can't control her. You are taking a very big chance by letting your heart out here and being vulnerable, and being given one-sentence advice is not necessarily what you need. For me, my worst thing was my x-husbands negativity. I like being around someone happy. He always saw the glass as half empty. I always wanted to try new things... going back to college, volunteer work, etc., where his sole purpose was to put down anything I wanted to do.

Women do not like to be caged. You have to give them the freedom to screw up parts of their life so they can learn. You have to be able to say, "Your idea is a little screwy dear, but, I'm here for you all the way. No matter what happens." Mainly, don't argue with her! If she is stubborn, like I am, the only thing you're gonna do is push her away.

I do recommend medication. I am on 20mg of Lexapro once a day. It has opened a whole new world to me. I feel like I'm reborn, and am able to make a difference and be happy. Paxil also really worked good for me, but, it deleted any sex drive I ever even dreamt about having, and, when you're in a marriage, lack of a sex drive is not a good thing.

I hope this helps. Good luck. My prayers, however poor they are, are with you.

Take Care

Ya, I do get lonely. It would be nice to have someone in my life that I felt was a good influence on my life. I guess I especially get lonely when I'm hugging the pillows at night beside me.

After the last guy I dated though, I had a realization. Being single and content is more important than in a relationship and being controlled.

It seems like men want me to be a piece of property that they can put down, judge and not respect. I've worked hard to get where I am in life, and will continue to give 150% to reach my goals. I want someone in my life who understands why I do this.

Okay, I may be sitting at home alone, well kind of alone... my roommate is here playing monster underneath the blanket with my kitty cat. I wouldn't say I'm miserable. I mean I'm planning and really looking forward to my deep sea fishing trip and hotel stay this weekend at Pismo Beach If I'm not looking forward to a trip, I look forward to work (ya, I know, a little psycho), I love what I do for what... I'm going back to school, I love learning...

I am happy with myself.

So, should the discussion really be, "How to be single and make the most out of life?"

You go azrae!!! My life has meaning because I make it that way. Really, when I put my toenail into the dating world, at least lately, I'm reminded why the singles life is not all that bad.

Right now, I'd rather be single and not take anymore chances. I make more of a positive difference in my life and other's without potential negative influences.

For me, money is meant to be spent in the future. I want a comfortable retirement. For now, I am living below my means... and, taking trips whenever I feel like it. I'm going deep sea fishing this Sunday, because I want to. A friend is coming along. I just got back from Flagstaff, Grand Canyon and Sedona a month ago. Work paid for part of the trip, I extended it and paid for the rest. I went alone and had a blast.