The uplift stories are great! Did you read 'Kiln People' or 'Practice Effect' ?

Hey how u doin i am lookin for a gf in pine bluff ark

Patient: Doctor, I’ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?

Doctor: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your ferrari by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Patient: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

Doctor: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a goat eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Patient: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

Doctor: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, which means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way.. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

Patient: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

Doctor: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Patient: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?

Doctor: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!

Patient: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

Doctor: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! ...... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Patient: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the stomach?

Doctor: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should be doing sit-ups only if you want a bigger stomach.

Patient: Is chocolate bad for me?

Doctor: you are really crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!

Patient: Is swimming good for figure?

Doctor: If swimming is good for figure, explain whales to me.

Patient: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?

Doctor: Hey! 'Round' is a shape! Well, that’s enough - hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

... And remember dear:

'Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'WOO HOO, What a Ride'

These are the things that we carry
Until time makes us let them go.
These are the things we hold onto
Because this is what life's let us know.
These are our burdens to bury
Until rage grows too fat for our skin;
And these are the ways
We break down to our knees
To gather what once stayed within

Mom does the crying while
Dad does the breaking while
Boys do the lying and
Girls do the faking, it's
Just like the movies, it's
Just like the songs we
Never put out names in but
Still sang along..
And money is lacking and
Time's running out as
We rise to the races and
Swallow the doubt, saying:
"I know much better, won't happen to me!"
It's amazing what blindness will
Lead us to see.

These are the things that must matter
Because they keep returning again.
These are the vain misconceptions
We hope will be right in the end.
These are the things we attain to
Expending our last energies;
Hanging onto those seconds
Of love, lust and learning...
Redigesting our best memories.

The waves do their crashing as
Each sun falls down, lighting
Constant contrast between
The sky and ground, with
Our toes in the sand and
Our eyes to the stars, saying:
"How did we get here? It all seems so far..."
And did this desperate planet
Allow us to sing or
Were we disconnected by
All of these things
All of these things
All of these things that we know...

These are the things we must look at:
An old couple walks, hand in hand.
These are the things to remember:
What heavy rain does for the land.
These are the things to grasp onto:
Conversations between two wallflowers...
Taking one step away from the struggle
And transforming those seconds to hours.

Does anyone else find the OVERWHELMING number of females who are unsure of their childs father to be a disturbing sign of how 'casual' sex has become in this society? Or how,there is a direct correlation between the numbers of homes without fathers and any number of and the numbers of malnourished, undisciplined and unstable, suicidal and violent, children?

I cannot prove a cause and effect between the minimalizing of sex and the numbers of broken homes but it is saddening and discouraging to read the numbers.

There is also another disturbing trend, people old enough to MAKE babies but not to understand where babies come from.. that is to say,,people who look at a NEWBORN child and compare features or look at someone elses baby and insist it cant be theirs because of physical features. People still dont understand that a child can look like either parent,,(including that parents race), both parents, or might not look like either parent but a grandparent instead?

I used to get so offended at people determining whether or not MJS kids were his because of what they 'looked' like as babies....my babies did not 'look like' me (The adult me)when they were born, although they looked like my baby pics.

Sorry, just venting,,,some other thread put Maury Povich on my mind.

...sleep! Ugghh!

i meet a guy on this site he seemed nice and treats me good. but i just found out he is on here still trying to find someone. we have been dating for two months now. i am a good honest person. so am i just stupid to belive what a man says or what. i am wondering if i should just give up.

Genuine

I love the way
you almost say,
what you really could,
let go.
Tender, teasing,implicit,
knowing what you know.
Seen the most, is genuine.
how you connect your soul.
Coming from your deepest place,
a beginning, sure to grow.

Raine Les 12/15/2009

All I need is a miracle
All I need is you.

to make it wet
you suck it

to make it stiff
you lick

to get it in
yo push it

Damn!

threading a needle when you're older is a *****

As always there is a balance of good and bad.

As for historically we are getting smarter than people of the past ever so slowly. LOL

The human ills have always been there, there are more people now so it appears to be more ills, when it is probably the same by percentage.

the promise of passion to keep you smiling by saying i love you so, as you look and wait for the hidden truth and dig deeper to find the real him/her as you have seem to sacrifice to try and make your life more meaningful, as a promise is always a promise but yet never kept the word, as you look into there eyes and feel you can never let go for one reason or another. there is no need to fear a tear, as one cuddles on the couch and try to support one another, as a word that has been said, never feel alone for i would be around. but that promise is never kept, as a being a equal partner is just a word, as a promise to be my shelter is not a ever lasting promise of love so to say, as one may not see to resolve the conflicts for one is never around, for thinking his work is more important than sharing the world with someone so dear. trusting one could be a issue for you never no as that person is never around.

A young man is coming home from a nightclub with a lady for the first time.

He's never had sex before and knows nothing about 'these things'.

The lady says to him, 'Just relax, I'm gonna do what is called a 69er'.

This sounds okay so he tries it out.

A few seconds into it... the lady rips off the hugest fart, but before she can apologize, the young man gets up and walks out, saying,

"Stuff this, I can't handle another 68 of those!"

im from tennessee. if u live near by email me and i will hit u up thanks