Could be a few thing, might not be any of them too. Curiosity about the site, trying to get an insight on who you are... hard to say.

The reason I brought this up it all the Youtubers out there. Some who've "gone their own way," "Red pill" men... women coaches, those women who've commented on vidoes (usually then used to say that they've proven the point.)... I kind of feel the truth lies more in the middle of some of their various views. So, I thought I'd seek opinions outside of mobs on YouTube too.

tare.

the only caveat to having someone let you know what they see as they look out for you is you have to be open to hearing it and, at the very least, open to considering what they have to say. you can't willfully be blind and expect another's view of your relationship.

does dating advice mean much when coming from the opposite gender? does it mean more from the same gender? should it all be taken with a grain of salt?

My view is that both can be off the mark or on it. Some advice can be tainted with emotions that are destructive (and bad advice) or genuinely based on experiences in a good way... Some advice can be just plain manipulative. What's been your take and experience?

pact

bill

late

A two year old conversation still going on...


I was married once, to a girl I had met about four years prior to the marriage. She dumped me once during that first four years for an old boyfriend, but eventually cam back. She also went to a party during that time got drunk and spread her legs for a guy on the hood of a car. Well... we got married anyhow (I ignored her serious flaws) only later for find out that she cheated on me twice (after the divorce.) In retrospect I'm better off without her. (the only good thing that came out of it was the kids) She's gone on to hubby #3 now, with just about the same pattern. I wasn't guilt free in this as I more or less took some things for granted... although communication about what was "wrong" wasn't a discussion as much as me getting yelled at. At the time of the divorce, It was something I didn't want... and I'll still not wish a divorce upon anybody. The marriage only lasted six years.

Second marriage. only knew her for a few months before getting married. It lasted almost 17 years before I had to bury her. (Lupus combined with a deadly case of pneumonia. Died once, revived only to have the lupus attack the brain.)

Third time? Not yet. I've learned alot over the years... I'm more picky. I'll make the level of commitment called marriage ONLY with the right woman. I still hold the wedding vows as something serious. I hold sex as much more than a benefit and shouldn't be cheapened by fwb or hookups... (I actually believe its best saved for after marriage. call me old-fashioned or whatever you want on that, doesn't matter to me.)



Now the world around us... everything is being done to undermine traditional families as can be gotten away with. Men get the idea marriage isn't a good idea because she'll clean him out, even if it winds up being only half. People get taught that a marriage isn't necessary for lasting love (in a sense, it's true, but it ignores that marriage is the ultimate level of commitment.) People are taught to look out for #1 in some cases, some cases no instruction is required. (prenups are a symptom of the distrust, the "gold digging", etc. Unfortunately because of the behaviors.)


We've gotten away from some of the past behaviors for marriage we needed to (arranged marriages for a large example)... and we got too many being removed now that are only because of their religious heritage, or they are just too inconvenient for those who don't want the responsibility of the vows, when honored, bring. (it's way too easy to claim "irreconcilable differences" as a reason, and too easy to use it for shallow reasons, IMHO)

So, here I stand, a guy with old-fashioned beliefs and morals (not trending in today's society) who will hold out for the right gal... but I do need to know enough about her to make sure it's not a mistake or a disaster waiting to happen. "Unequally yoked" can be applied to more than just religious beliefs.

</soapbox>

Sadly, even tickling range can be smoke and mirrors with some. But at least at that close of range, you have a better chance of seeing through the veil.

Thanks for correcting me. The general consensus on the net from so called experts (and those associated with specific sites) tend to say this... alot. Without hearing the voice of someone else, it's not difficult to assume that's the way it is.

I joined because I felt God could use anything he wanted to to have me meet my wife to be. Here online (I met my late wife in one of the old Yahoo chat rooms. Anybody remember those?) As far as I know I could meet her on one of the dating sites, at work, or anyplace really. Although it would be hard to do so if I'm not there. I am getting the feeling though on these dating sites (catered to Christians or not) that the odds are not in my favor... the proverbial needle in one of a hundred haystacks. Yet here I am... eyes open, I hope.

The store? The mall? The laundromat? Work? All can be considered, and the vast majority are, secular. Should we hide in our homes, avoid contact with the world except as absolutely necessary? Nope. Can't go out into the world and make disciples by hiding out in a commune or your home.

Some places, especially if it caters to your weaknesses, probably should be avoided. Some places are more than likely useless going to most of the time. That is to say, unless you feel with full certainty God wants you there for a reason. (If he does, you will have a way out from any temptation.) Use your judgement. Take advantage of your relationship with God, He'll let you know where you can go and not... and when. Christianity is and should always be about the relationship between God and you first.

Time to adapt... I'll miss the energy drinks... I'll miss the occasional coffee... I'll miss the chocolate.... Meanwhile I'll try to convince them that syntha-feine is the real threat. (synthetic caffeine)... but unfortunately a vogon fleet stole our syntha-feine and then conveniently forgot to destroy our little ball of mud.

Or... maybe I'll just have to invent a time machine and get rich selling caffeine imported from the past on the black market.

For some reason the song "Tainted Love" came to mind for me.

First, they way I figure it, based on Tinder Stats (the one that started the swipe business, or at leas popularized it) us guys only have about a 20% chance of finding someone there vs about 80% of meeting someone in the flesh. The gals have got their pick of us guys online to the point we'd have to make it a part-time job to 'scatter-shot" in hopes of even getting to talk to someone for a few messages at least, let alone having a one out of a hundred or so first replies.

The Tinder stats show that many are there just because its popular, or to just socialize.

Now as to "Cyber Love" I think it can be... to a point... but as long as its cyber and not IRL, it can never be truly realized. It can never be fully realized either. It can seem real and true enough... but it's just a shadow of what it could be should the two ever actually meet face to face.

When I think about it more.... yeah... the age of the person would be around 25 1/4.... just basing what kind of girl I'd wind up with from just this site alone.... they'd just want the hook-up/one night stand... iow... just my body. ([sarcasm]yeah, every guy's dream...[/sarcasm])

I'm too old to just leave it to lust relationships and sowing my royal oats... I want someone more mature, someone that understands more and wants a real relationship based on the friendship of two people.

Sadly, you arr right. If you stop and really take a look, you'll notice that this is being encouraged... not necessarily overtly.... not necessarily covertly.... depends on events... and red flag events. While they have us focused on racial issues, well... our focus isn't elsewhere.


It isn't racist or sexist to have your preferences with who you spend the rest of your life ... including skin tone, or gender identity. What is is if you think they're lower than you and not worthy of anything.

To each their own, and to each their own life.

Just "Be excellent to each other."

<sigh>

waiting...

there's also this thing called ignore if you're not into someone. dunno where it started or who all sanctioned it, but it is an irritation. it leaves you hanging as to whether they missed it; was too busy to respond, and then forgot; wanted time to think on it, or decided to blow you off for one reason or another. it's today's norm in on-line dating etiquette, like it or not.

there's also the issue, like us guys, where they are bombarded by sex-bots, and other unscrupulous messages from the opposite gender. it is possible your messages look a little too similar... could you show us a typical contact message from you?

it's up to the people involved. for some interracial is the only way to go. others not so. (doesn't necessarily mean bigotry/racism... but for some, unfortunately, it does mean that.)

for me, it's attitude, inner beauty, that can cinch a relationship, or break it.