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Community > Posts By > JanDarling
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Topic:
Stages
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If they resurface, you’re probably not burying them deep enough.
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Topic:
No luck with people nearby
Edited by
JanDarling
on
Mon 03/12/18 09:47 PM
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This is not exactly a supermarket.
It takes time to find compatible people in person or online. Online searching simply expands your horizons a little. It still takes time to meet others and get to know people. |
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Topic:
Passion vs love
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Passion is an outlet for every type of love; familial, friends and physical. We show passion for everything we love in life; sports, music, art, nature and life in general.
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Topic:
Persuasion Dating?
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There's another aspect to this, based on the original example. Someone who makes it a point to say that they are going to "persuade" someone, in my experience, isn't signalling that they are seriously attracted and interested in you as a person. They are signalling very clearly that they are interested in you as a target, and as a potential trophy. HUGE difference. This kind of behavior tends to be far more prevalent from males, because culturally, males are SUPPOSED to be aggressive, possessive, greedy, determined, unstoppable, brave, and above all, unaffected by the opposition. It's all encapsulated by the often lauded "never take no for an answer" ideal, which males are rewarded for following in all levels and endeavors. The fact that it has always had a very nasty dark side to it, has always been a huge problem, that unfortunately is ignored more than it is addressed. Well, I sure hope I don’t end up having to address it. I agree with you. He is not interested in me as a person, but a conquest. He has always given me a bad vibe. I trust my vibes. They’ve served me well. |
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Topic:
Persuasion Dating?
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Yesterday I ran into a man who I’ve, tactfully, and politely, turned down for a date several times. There reason for my refusal is, but not limited to, feeling his personality rather annoying and often offensive. He leaned, way too far, into my personal space to whisper in my ear...”One of these days I will persuade you.” 
My topic isn’t about this guy. I just told the story so you know where I’m coming from with this question. Persuasion will definitely not be working here! But there are bound to be many different types of scenarios where persuasion could effect a person’s decision. Which leads to my question. Have you or would you go out with someone who had to persuaded you to accept a date invitation? And flip-side, would it be worth it to you to persuade someone whose turned you down before? I think it would depend on if I was attracted to him and why I said no. If I said no because I'm not attracted to him and pretty much made that clear... Then no, any kind of persuasion wouldn't be appreciated and would feel creepy to me. If I were attracted to him and was just nervous or wasn't sure yet, then if he tried again in a cute funny kind of way then I would probably say yes. There's too many factors involved to say for sure that I would or wouldn't welcome it. Depends on the situation, the man, and the way the persuasion is carried out. On the flip side, I might ask a second time... probably not a third though. Although same thing applies... depends! Good answer. There are too many variables. But if we could get Eric to develope the hismindreader also, we would no longer have that delima. 
I’m positive I don’t want to know what they’re thinking the other 90% of the time. 
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Topic:
Share your worse date story.
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Ahhhhhh......the memories. I was 34, about a year removed from my divorce, so I was basically getting my feet wet in the dating world. I had been on a few dates and none had been disastrous. So I was feeling pretty good about dating and thought that all the horror stories I had heard about were overrated. And then I met a girl who just simply would not shut up. Ever been on a date where you only maybe say ten words in a three hour time frame? Well, ole Goof has. She would literally ask me a question, and I maybe would get one word in before she was talking about herself again. I literally looked at the waiter one time and he could read my thoughts.....even he was like "Dude. Get the "F" outta here. This chick is loco".
The kicker was that on the next day, I went on the dating site (where we had met on) and she stated that "I wasn't a good match for her". I died laughing and then put in my experience on the date "She wouldn't shut her trap unless it had food in it....and sometimes she even talked with her mouth full....which is a turn off for me and therefore I cannot date someone with terrible table manners". I might have been a bit perturbed with her.
Wait! Did you date my sister? 
Maybe your sister's evil twin or something.
But I am my sister’s evil twin! JK. We are two years apart, not twins. Though we look enough alike people accuse us of being twins. Haha! I stopped when you said you were the evil twin. 
It’s ironic that she’s the talker, and while I am very social in the forums...am actually not that talkative in person. |
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Topic:
Persuasion Dating?
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we have trouble reading signs applied with a clue by 4 and you want us to read female minds? 
Actually, no. It would be nothing but trouble if you guys really knew what we were thinking.
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Topic:
Persuasion Dating?
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Yesterday I ran into a man who I’ve, tactfully, and politely, turned down for a date several times. There reason for my refusal is, but not limited to, feeling his personality rather annoying and often offensive. He leaned, way too far, into my personal space to whisper in my ear...”One of these days I will persuade you.”
My topic isn’t about this guy. I just told the story so you know where I’m coming from with this question. Persuasion will definitely not be working here! But there are bound to be many different types of scenarios where persuasion could effect a person’s decision. Which leads to my question. Have you or would you go out with someone who had to persuaded you to accept a date invitation? And flip-side, would it be worth it to you to persuade someone whose turned you down before? Ok, you could not blame the guy for trying ? Care for a date Jan...?....lol You are too sweet or too funny. I never know with you Bri. Haha! If you are too sweet, you are also too far. 
Never say never..? We chat, don't we ? That’s true. As long as I make it clear from the start....I am not a good southern cook. I don’t even have a deep fryer.
Don't worry about the fryer, has anyone told you that you resemble Julia Roberts....
No, but I met a blind man once, who I could swear was thinking it.
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Topic:
Persuasion Dating?
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I’m the odd one here. I like to be persuaded. Well, let me explain. I think the better word here is “pursue.” I like pursuit and persistence. It’s not persuasion. If you have to try and persuade, I feel you don’t have enough confidence in who you are or what you have to offer. So I’m with everyone on that. You can’t persuade. Now back to pursuit and persistence. It’s a turn on for me. If I don’t want you persisting or in pursuit, you WILL KNOW IT. It’s also the other way around. I’ve also actually TOLD a man I likes his pursuit and persistence. I don’t play games and to me this isn’t a game. It’s some flirting in the beginning. That’s all. It’s been a little while (cough) since I dated, but I do remember the thrill of being pursued. When you are unsure if you trust the man’s intentions, you tend to stand back and bide your time a bit, expecting he will lose interest if he’s just playing with you. It’s a thrill when he doesn’t just move around n to greener pastures. But the ones you DON’T want to pursue you also think this is their opportunity to prove they are not just fickle flirts too. This is when you run into the awkward moment you have to make your disinterest known. I hate that part. Why can’t they just read minds. Wait! Bad idea! 
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Topic:
Share your worse date story.
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Ahhhhhh......the memories. I was 34, about a year removed from my divorce, so I was basically getting my feet wet in the dating world. I had been on a few dates and none had been disastrous. So I was feeling pretty good about dating and thought that all the horror stories I had heard about were overrated. And then I met a girl who just simply would not shut up. Ever been on a date where you only maybe say ten words in a three hour time frame? Well, ole Goof has. She would literally ask me a question, and I maybe would get one word in before she was talking about herself again. I literally looked at the waiter one time and he could read my thoughts.....even he was like "Dude. Get the "F" outta here. This chick is loco".
The kicker was that on the next day, I went on the dating site (where we had met on) and she stated that "I wasn't a good match for her". I died laughing and then put in my experience on the date "She wouldn't shut her trap unless it had food in it....and sometimes she even talked with her mouth full....which is a turn off for me and therefore I cannot date someone with terrible table manners". I might have been a bit perturbed with her.
Wait! Did you date my sister?
Maybe your sister's evil twin or something.
But I am my sister’s evil twin! JK. We are two years apart, not twins. Though we look enough alike people accuse us of being twins. Haha! |
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Topic:
Share your worse date story.
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Ahhhhhh......the memories. I was 34, about a year removed from my divorce, so I was basically getting my feet wet in the dating world. I had been on a few dates and none had been disastrous. So I was feeling pretty good about dating and thought that all the horror stories I had heard about were overrated. And then I met a girl who just simply would not shut up. Ever been on a date where you only maybe say ten words in a three hour time frame? Well, ole Goof has. She would literally ask me a question, and I maybe would get one word in before she was talking about herself again. I literally looked at the waiter one time and he could read my thoughts.....even he was like "Dude. Get the "F" outta here. This chick is loco".
The kicker was that on the next day, I went on the dating site (where we had met on) and she stated that "I wasn't a good match for her". I died laughing and then put in my experience on the date "She wouldn't shut her trap unless it had food in it....and sometimes she even talked with her mouth full....which is a turn off for me and therefore I cannot date someone with terrible table manners". I might have been a bit perturbed with her.
Wait! Did you date my sister?
Maybe your sister's evil twin or something.
But I am my sister’s evil twin! JK. We are two years apart, not twins. Though we look enough alike people accuse us of being twins. Haha! |
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Topic:
Name yourself
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As a child I had a friend named Bailey. I remember asking my Mom when I was about 5, why she hadn’t given me a pretty name like Bailey. Haha! What first name would you have given yourself? I would certainly have called me Burt,  after my favourite movie star, .but the traditional british way of choosing names for your kids was not to leave it to the fashion of the day, but to continue a tradition of naming........first son, was named after paternal grandfather, second son after maternal grandfather, first daughter after maternal grandmother, second daughter after paternal grandmother...after that it went to the parents, so , if you were the third son, you had same name as your father........
Burt Reynolds? Probably spelled wrong. My family also insists on first names being family names. I don’t know that they follow any order really. . My Father wanted my first name to be Miya, but he knew he would offend his Mother if I wasn’t named after her Mother Zhanet. Janet is the American equal. She didn’t care for the American version, but he stood his ground and she got over it. Haha! A famous Irish politician had same name.......
I’ve never heard of an Irish Burt. Is that common? |
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Topic:
Share your worse date story.
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Ahhhhhh......the memories. I was 34, about a year removed from my divorce, so I was basically getting my feet wet in the dating world. I had been on a few dates and none had been disastrous. So I was feeling pretty good about dating and thought that all the horror stories I had heard about were overrated. And then I met a girl who just simply would not shut up. Ever been on a date where you only maybe say ten words in a three hour time frame? Well, ole Goof has. She would literally ask me a question, and I maybe would get one word in before she was talking about herself again. I literally looked at the waiter one time and he could read my thoughts.....even he was like "Dude. Get the "F" outta here. This chick is loco".
The kicker was that on the next day, I went on the dating site (where we had met on) and she stated that "I wasn't a good match for her". I died laughing and then put in my experience on the date "She wouldn't shut her trap unless it had food in it....and sometimes she even talked with her mouth full....which is a turn off for me and therefore I cannot date someone with terrible table manners". I might have been a bit perturbed with her.
Wait! Did you date my sister?
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Topic:
Share your worse date story.
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it was a first date and after he had finished eating he pulled a toothpick out of his pocket and proceeded to pick his teeth! The worst part was that he licked it clean & put it back in his pocket - what a class act!  Desert anyone? Gross!
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Topic:
Share your worse date story.
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I lost track of this thread.
Dobermangal, 15 years is too long. I believe he was in denial or at least wishful thinking if he didn’t believe he was much changed. I will admit my pic is 7 years old. My hair is longer and darker and I don’t always have a suntan...but it still looks pretty close. I could not pass something 15 years and I KNOW IT! 🤣 |
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Edited by
JanDarling
on
Mon 03/12/18 07:44 AM
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When you see someone dragging toilet paper on their shoe, their short tail hanging out of their zipper, mustard at the corner of their mouth, their wig or toupee askew, or other potential embarrassing (for them) situations....would you tell them? Darn. I was hoping nobody noticed! The only correction is that it’s my real hair but is often “askew”. As for the rest it was because ... well, kind of a long story. I mean usually... hmm, ok it is my normal look, but I am working on it. Ummm... starting tomorrow! 
Oh. Thanks for not mentioning the other embarrassing situations.
I wouldn’t probably not run my fingers through a strange man’s hair. I’m probably not going to tell him his hair is a mess either. That would probably be thought rude. Funny story...I once tucked the shirt tag on a strange man’s neck. I always tuck my sons neck tag in when he’s standing in front of me, so it was an instinct, auto-pilot move. The man turned around and gave me a wtf look. I realized what I’d done and was completely mortified! I told him Indid it to my grown son so many times I don’t even think about it anymore. I was relieved when he laughed. |
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Lets look at the "Good Samaritan" aspect with a bit more urgency. Its one thing to tell or not tell someone when their zipper is down or they have TP on their shoe. It something else to handle a real world "Good Samaritan" situation like stepping up when a wrong needs righted, Like stopping a man from beating his wife at a party or preventing a parent from beating their kid at Walmart. Sometimes we face things that are not so cut and dry. Like comforting someone going thru a divorce or dealing with a loss of a loved one. Or...a stranger's child running out into traffic. Someone smoking while filling their gas tank. At what point does it become "you're problem" to solve? Could you stand by and watch a woman get beat senseless? Could you sit idle while a child's life may be in danger? Would you let someone blow themselves up because of their own stupidity? I can't. I know of it happening to others tho. I always ask myself, why? Why did they just sit by and let it happen? Sally is in the hospital. Why? Johnny beat her up last night at the party, here, wanna see the video? Your right, of course. These are minor acts compared to the more significant events you mention. No, I cannot stand by and watch those things either. I am not a big enough or tough enough presence to affect any fear in a larger person doing an ill deed, but I have proclaimed loudly that I am calling the police more than a few times in my life. It usually works. Though once the man who was had pushed his date against his car very forcefully began advancing on me to stop me from making the call. That was scary. Fortunately a very big and burly Samaritan nearby noticed and stepped in front of me just in time. I was against a wall, with no chance to run, was very relieved. I will pay closer attention to my own location the next time I issue a threat. 
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No, I don’t suppose you can mention that one.
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Well I was at a packed movie house, hit the ladies room and then had to exit past a long line of impatient movie-goers ready for the next showing. My mate was waiting for me, he immediately started laughing, I said 'What's so funny?' 'I'll tell you when we get to the car' as we walked by the long line..everybody seemed to be laughing. I wanted to tell them it wasn't that great a comedy. Dang if I wasn't trailing the tp behind me. Not on my shoe..out my jeans. No one wants to be THAT person. No one pointed it out to me. But now the worst has happened. You can be sure I check 30 times before leaving the ladies room now. No I would not tell them..I want to be the watchee this time. So we not only have your answer, but also your mate from the time. Haha! I’d have had a few words for him for letting me walk that line with my train in tow.
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