Negra Modello.....brewed by the Corona/Modello/Pacifico group - - - awesome dark draught beer, brewed in MX

Moved to Mazatlan MX from Florida, and I am right on the Pacific. The sunsets are just awesome, the people are friendly and I love the culture (and the margaritas) I have been here for a year now, visiting back in FL now and then... Rent is cheap, food is good and I didn't catch the swine flu, because I did not wake up with any pigs.....

When I was living in Florida........

Power Bill - - - - - - $225

Cable/Internet - - - - $160

Water/sewer/garb - - - $53

Just another reason I moved south of the border...........

electric bill last month - - $14
water bill............ - - $4.20 (like that number )

cable/internet . . . - - - $45.00

A rather large woman was sitting on the porch eating a giant piece of watermelon, with her legs spread wide open.

Her neighbor drove by and yelled out...... why in the world are you sitting there with your legs spread wide open and she said......
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
. "so the flies won't get on my watermelon" :):)

Why do women with a little age on them constantly post pictures of themselves from 6-8 even 10 years ago? Relationships of any kind are based on honesty and trust - the honesty comes from the start and the trust has to be earned. I would think a pic from the past is a little deceiving, yes?

This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for
years. The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke.

The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.

Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop
and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a
doctor. She was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.

The years went by and he continued to rip them out! Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and a malicious thought came to her.

She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled
back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.

Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and
the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom.

The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor
laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good.

About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his
bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face.

She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter. He said, "Honey, you were right. All these years you have warned me
and I didn't listen to you.

"What do you mean?" asked his wife.

"Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened. But by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and these two fingers, I think I got most of them back in.

Have their wife/husband call you and say that you are not going to be able to make the date you have for this evening? :)

Calumet, Laurium, Lake Linden, Hubbell - and yes, they are not "cities, but rather towns and villages

Little Johnny's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures, tacked to a bulletin board, of the 10 most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person. "Yes," said the policeman. "The detectives want very badly to capture him." Little Johnny asked, "Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture?"

because "King" was already taken...

This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for
years. The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke.

The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.

Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop
and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a
doctor. She was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.

The years went by and he continued to rip them out! Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and a malicious thought came to her.

She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled
back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.

Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and
the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom.

The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor
laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good.

About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his
bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face.

She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter. He said, "Honey, you were right. All these years you have warned me
and I didn't listen to you.

"What do you mean?" asked his wife.

"Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened. But by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and these two fingers, I think I got most of them back in.

Now I haven't known you very long and I shouldn't be asking you for this so soon, but I really need it badly.

I haven't had it for a while and I can already feel it going in good and hard and coming out nice and soft.

If you would do this for me no one would ever know.

I am sure you can satisfy my needs and I'd be very grateful if you would.

I am very desperate and I need your help.

You must think by now that I have a lot of nerve but I can feel my tongue wrapping around it and sucking out all the juices until it's very dry.

I am not going to beat around the bush any longer so...........













Do you have a piece of gum?

his parents were divorced, little Johnny passed by his mom's bedroom and saw her rubbing her body and moaning, "I need a man, I need a man!"

Over the next couple of months, he saw her doing this several times.

One day, he came home from school and heard her moaning. When he peeked into her bedroom, he saw a man on top of her.

Little Johnny ran into his room, took off his clothes, threw himself on his bed, started stroking himself, and moaning, "Ohh, I need a bike! I need a bike!"

a few years back, when I was visiting a very good friend of mine in the UP of MI in the dead of winter. One evening, with temps of way below zero, we were driving back home from a nice dinner in the city, and in the middle of nowhere, the car suddenly died. Dreading even the thought of going outside, it made me shiver. With the wind howling and the icy temperature, I started the task at hand. After a few minutes my hands were freezing and I went back to sit in the, already chilling but yet warmer, car.

Rubbing my hands together to warm them up, my friend suggested I place them between her legs to warm them up a bit, and also faster. This did the trick and before long, I was back under the hood, trying to figure out what was the problem. There are only 2 things that will effect the operation of a car – and those are fuel and ignition. A short time went by and I was back in the car, warming my hands again. Every 5-10 minutes I would return to the car and the warmth of my friend’s legs. Doing this several times and making little progress, but still trying to get the car started, my friend finally asked me………


















Aren’t your ears getting cold????????????

there is always the next best thing to chocolate

Now all I need, is to be laid off, by Social Security

Then...........last fall the company I was working for, got bought out by a larger firm. While having my morning coffee, about a week or so after the merger, my boss comes in the office and tells me my job is being sent to the NEW home office.

No wonder I had to retire and come live south of the border......

A few years ago, I went to work one Friday morning and the plant manager told me they were having a layoff and for me to get rid of 10 of my people. I had been there for 14 years and most of those that worked for me had been there for some years also. It was a very tough decision to make as to who to let go, but by day's end, the task was met.

The following Monday when I went in, the plant manager called me to his office and told me "I forgot to tell you - you are part of the layoff also" He had me do the dirty work and then after a horrible weekend thinking about it, put the axe in me

I know - it is probably only a "pipe" dream :)