At university you have people of all ages.

18 and 19 is adult. They are not minors.
I’m only 22, not 76. So why couldn’t I befriend people who are adults in their late teens?
Only a couple years difference.

Like I said, I like socializing with many people, I don’t restrict myself to one or two people. Rather to multiple people.

I have friends between the ages of 18 and 65. A broad range.

And yes, at one point I considered them real friends but not anymore. I don’t like their secretive behavior.
And yes, I have other friends outside of them, real friends who are there for me.

Concerning the theater : that’s what they made out of it.
I just put them back in their place.

Elissa.

When I first came here, I was looking to get to know a non-judgemental person.
But I have given up on that search xD

Thank you, Lu_Rosemary.

Writing my feelings down is wonderful therapy that I need sometimes.

She was a very very good person. I just described the truth guided by my heart. Does my poem bother you??

Hi,

so at school there was this girl that I befriended and we became really good friends for a few months. But once I started socializing with other people and when I went to sit next to other people to get to know them better, she and her group couldn’t grasp that and she and her 2 friends started to ignore me.
Fast forward, the finals are finished and it’s summer. Now she started messaging to meet up and to join her and her two friends for dinner at her home because her parents were away for a week.

I did not take this well because she showed secretive behavior by ignoring me for months together with her group and then having the guts to invite me all of a sudden.

So I messaged back and told her that I didn’t like her way of behaving. That it is mean to treat people this way and that I prefer people who are straight forward instead of sneaky and secretive.

She messaged back that she did that because I never sat next to her and her friends anymore and that she always had to come to me to have some contact with me and that it bothered her that I never took the time to go over to her to have contact.

The thing is, she is bisexual and started looking in an admiring way at me during the courses, she started following me everywhere and plain out made me uncomfortable and started texting me late at night when it’s not appropriate anymore to contact anyone.

I mean, I don’t want to form one small group. I like to socialize with everybody a bit without committing myself to a certain group.

So when I went sitting next to other people and not next to her and her friends, she and her friends started to freak out.

She told one of her friends,who told me back, that I was the “ best of both worlds “ and that little sentence disguested me.
So I just started ignoring her too and went on with my university life to get to meet other people.

She made a drama about the fact that I removed her from my friend list on Facebook.
I mean, it’s just Facebook.

I told her that I wouldn’t accept her invitation to join them for dinner and that I was fine with how the situation was now ( no contact ) and that I didn’t feel a need to change anything about that and that I would appreciate it if she and her two friends left me alone after summer. That there were other people that I prefered hanging out with.

She and her two friends are always with three and don’t have anybody else. They always were forcing me to sit next to them. Don’t get me wrong, sitting next to each other every now and then is fine but not every course, week after week.

During lunch breaks I also wanted to get to know other people, socialize with other people and sit next to other people during classes and they couldn’t grasp that I socialized with people outside of their group, in the classroom.

I mean, there are 600+ students in my class, it’s not realistic to only get to know three of them. That would be anti-social towards the rest.

There were other interesting people that I wanted to get to know.

Those 3 people I talk about came over to me every time, I never went over to them. Just because I didn’t feel a click. I never considered them interesting people and I never considered them to be friends. That’s why I socialized with others. People that I did find interesting.

Now to end the story :
I told her to leave me alone and that I was content with having gone no contact, when she messaged me. And she behaved like she was the victim. That she didn’t understand why I went no contact.
I mean, she made me uncomfortable. I don’t like it when a person follows me 24/7 and wants me to be with them alone all the day without me getting to know others. And that is what that little group did. They couldn’t stand it when I talked to others.

My mother was of the opinion that I have been too harsh on them by asking them to not ever contact me again, as a response on their invitation for me to dinner with them.
They are 18, turning 19. I’m 22. And that’s where my mother thinks I have been too harsh. That they are still maturing and make mistakes and that I need to learn to forget and forgive.
But I don’t really agree. I mean, I don’t owe my time to people I’m not interested hanging out with, so why should I hang out with them against my will?

I don’t see where I went in the wrong. It was them that went in the wrong.

I’m thinking about how transient life is. How hasty and how temporary.
Today our grandparents are the old generation, tommorrow it’s our parents and the day after tommorrow it’s we who make place for a new generation.
I have difficulties to accept that we get older before we know and that life is over before we know. Before I can blink with my eyes, I will be 80 years old.

A pocket bike is a tiny little motorcycle for one person and your feet touch the ground when sitting on it. It can reach only 27 miles an hour.

I love love love Swarovski. That and Amber. Amber is such a beautiful stone to work with too. Colorful and energetic.
I like making necklaces and rings.
Also jewelry to wear on the head.

I also design clothing with linen.
It’s such a light and thin fabric and chic. I love making prom clothing.
But also casual soiree summer dresses and skirts.

17 november 2010 you passed away. At the age of 58.
You fought a brave fight against that horrible disease.
So full of hope and willpower. You always told us that you would stlll be there 10 years after your diagnosis.
Yet, one year later you had to give your fight up.
The last months, when you were bound to your weelchair, you still believed you would make it.
I believed you would make it. We believed you would make it. Because we didn’t want to see the reality. We wanted to hold on to the reflection of a cosy Christmas evening under the mistletoe. We still had so much to tell. You still had so much to do in your life. We were supposed to go to Mexico with you once you would be cured. Little did we know that the reality that awaited us between november 2009 and november 2010 was even worse than we had imagined. Every day you gave in a bit of your fighting energy. A bit of your autonomy. And you were still so eager to win it back. After all you had already been through, were did you still find that will, that power to fight back?
The worst that could happen to someone had already happened to you 4.5 years before you passed away. You lost the child that you carried in your womb for more than 9 months, the child that you woke up for at nights, to change his diapers and to feed him his bottle. The child that you saw making his first steps, in tiny little baby shoes that you meticulously chose by yourself. You were always like a mother lion keeping the guard over her welps. You were barely 19 when you gave birth to him. Still, you made the most wonderful mother anyone could ever wish for. I cannot imagine what a pain you must have suffered, burying your own flesh and blood at the measly age of 35 years old. After his passing, you devoted all your time at taking care of his children. You always claimed you saw him in his children. You took up the role of a mother for his orphan children. You were more a mother for us all than a grandmother. You have raised us all. You took care of a sick husband for more than 15 years. You never gave up on him despite all the pain that he caused you. You still felt sadness and emptyness when he passed away. Because he understood the grief of losing your own child, that you lived with. He felt the same, being a father.
At noon, you made sure the table was always neat and packed with delicious simplicities that you prepared by yourself, for when your children and grandchildren came to have lunch.
You were always the first to come and pick us up when school was out, if mom had to work late that day.
We saw you every day and still we were never bored in your presence. It was the center of our day, to spend a few hours at your home. We did that every day, for as long as we have known.
Between all your grief and sorrow and your busy family life, you still found the courage to work full-time.
That ilness made you into a person that you were not. You slept 22 hours a day, you became a very quiet person which was a total contrast with who you usually were.
Remember one thing : in your short 58 years on this earth, you have left a richer life behind than a centenarian. You have left a deep impression on so many people, who still speak daily about you more than 7 years after your passing. Every day when I miss you, I catch myself sneakily smiling because I remember that you are not forgotten yet. That the fact that so many people still take 5 minutes out of their day to commemorate you, day after day, means that the presence and the impression that you left is still alive.
You were the best grandmother, the best mother, the best sister and the best daughter, that someone could ever wish for. You were not even sad when your time was there to fly away, that 17th November 2010, 2 p.m. You would join your husband back and your son who shall stay forever young.
Thanks for all you have given us. You left such a rich heritage behind. Not with money but with something way more precious : your nurturing mother love that you passed on to your children and grandchildren.
I will never forget you. I will never let you go. My heart has captivated your beautiful memory.
And every now and then I hold one of your golden earrings in my hand and your eyes, the shine and smell of your hair and your beautiful modest smile, all come back.

I also want to have an adventure with you but I can’t put myself over the age difference. You could be my dad.

I have lost a lot of people in a few years time one after another and due to their passing I broke down in 2013 at age 17. I had a derealization period for 3 days. Was very scary. Like the world around me felt unreal.
My eye sight also was severely impacted. It subsided after 3 days.
Was a very very scary experience. I cried so much in those days. A psychiatrist concluded that it was my grief for the ones I loved, combined with my gender dysphoria ( it was before I transitioned ) that caused this.
I never want to experience something like that.

Derealization is very common in people.
Could that be what you experienced?
Benzodiapamines helped me during those 3 days.

God is not an objectivity.
It’s a subjectivity.
Religion is not a one-size-fits-all.
Some believe in a god, others don’t. You can’t force your believes on others.
Secularism exists since the 18th century. No reason to find out the wheel again.

My father told me that in the early 90s he once had a weird experience. Something with flashbacks.
He was camping with a trailer on a deserted place in France and when he opened the curtains of the trailer he saw a market full of people in 19th century style. He heard noises and he saw people riding away on horses. It lasted less than a minute and when he closed and re-opened the curtains it was gone.

Ever since he believes in paranormality.
I have an inclination to believe that what he experienced really happened.

I wonder if there would be a way to go back in time ( get a flashback ) about what happened with my mother her brother in April 2006. He died in mysterious circumstances while he was in a divorce with his wife because he discovered she was a lesbian. She threatened him a few weeks before he died. He died under the forks of a forklift.
Crime Scene Investigation could never found proofs that a third party was involved but we have always been convinced that it was not a simple accident.
I wish there was some way to get a flashback and discover what really happened.
It would give us peace of mind.
In this case I believe paranormality would be welcomed.
If I could trigger a flashback in time to know what happened to him, I would.

I wonder how it’s possible that some people are still perfectly well conserved in their graves without being mummificated.

Riding on my pocket bike, sailing, swimming in open sea, making Swarovski juwelry, designing clothes.

I absolutely adore Canada. Canada is such an open minded and liberal country. Especially the Toronto area where multiple layers of society live together in harmony.

Thailand. Ideal place for me.

If you believe in a god, then he exists. If you do not believe in a god, then he doesn’t exist. So it depends who you ask.
This is a question where no Answer is right or wrong. Only what you yourself feel to be true counts here.
An atheist shouldn’t be forced to believe in a god, a theist shouldn’t be forced into not believing into a god.
Religion is personal.
I personally do not believe in a god. I’m happy with loving the people I care for around me. I don’t miss something in my life. And just like I’m not going to force someone into not believing into what they believe, I expect them to not force me to believe in what I do not believe in.

I climb and I fall, sometimes I stand petite in this world, other times tall, but one thing I know is that the Odysee to get to you will have been worth it all.

Raw bee honey

Sex on the beach , T-Spoon