And now for some male nonsense...
Run from friends who try to fix you up!
Leave peel out marks in their driveway!
Cause a rush of wind and even the pop of a sonic boom as you make your quick exit!

Do not let them do it. Even if the person turns out to be totally great, your friend will now decide to become your surrogate parent. And if their friendship fails, your friend will expect you to break up!

If the relationship bombs miserably, your friend will be stuck in the middle, which is a sad place to be...unless they like gossip! Then double beware! Unless of course you thrive on teenage drama!

If the relationship explodes in a ball of flames on the 1st date, then your friend may think you are not being kind enough - and that you have to get to know them. In any event, you have still put your friend in the middle of something that you do not want them in the middle of.

On the otherhand, if you do not like this friend and you are trying to get rid of them - nothing like a setup to give you a good excuse to hate them forever :)

Laugh out loud funny!!!!
#11 actually made it as a real card though. Not a hallmark - but I've given that one to a friend before.

Okay - so one more post....
I think willy_cents has a good point.
Maybe I dont get out often enough but it seems that the subject matter in question cannot escape being rendered in so many different ways. I've never heard of the Chocolate Mohammed, nor the Piss Buddah.

Whatever your opinion is of me or the sculptors end product, one cannot escape the question. Why, if you are trying to force a reaction from people, must you use the Jesus?

That makes me think the artists is just trying to get a reaction. Would they have gotten the sponsorship for the display if it was a nude Choloate phpNguitars!?! doubt it.
Thus, reaction. Also, transientmind is correct. Most christians believe He was completely naked on the cross. He is depicted as clothed to present a certain degree of reverence. Those artists were not trying to get a reaction.

Okay - Flame On!

Okay I'm the only detractor here...
Of course I wish you the best of luck in your relationship.
But you're being trained dude! Wake up - she's got you in a "this is love" trance, man! Snap out of it and represent! If you want to do whats right - that means what is right by you that still respects her!

So post a picture of you AND her on the site. And if anyone emails you looking for a relationship, tell em you currently exploring a possible relationship but wish her the best of luck! Don't delete until your LDR gets converted to F2FR...Face 2 Face relationship!

Dude you are springing a little quick! You might spook her away! That or she is just starting the Male Training 101 class! C'mon dude - represent! Help me out here guys, this ain't a bon voyage! This needs to be an intervention!!!!

I think the issue is more that Christian revere Him. Would you like to go see a choclate nudy of your mom? Maybe that's not offensive to you. How about a choclate nudy of your mom doing an animal. After you are doing being mad at me for suggesting it, just consider that people love Him. Not that you have to believe it or accept it. But this chocolate sculpture, to a lot of people is a way of taking something very near and dear to many people and commercialising it without regard to their feelings. That's the bottom line. Why do people feel compelled to hurt the feelings of Christians? That's all it really does, in the end.

That's just my two cents. Not looking to get censured or start a riot. You asked.

I must be slow on the uptake today, but the moment I figured out "Park" I laughed out loud!

I got Diet Sode immediately - and laughed out loud again.

2 laughs. Not bad uk1971!

Oh that was pure evil!
Evil, pure and simple form the 8th dimension!

Hey nancyh123,
PERFECT! I am so going to get that one! That is such a powerful song! Thanks!

Thanks just_mary, exactly what I was hoping to get. You're right, that is a really powerful tune!

Keep'em coming ppl!

I'm having AWESOME luck!
Several awesome ladies have given me the time of day. Have had 1 date, a 2nd planned and another terrific gal and I are planning a 1st date! That is all inside a week!

Another fine gal is long distance, so no real prospect for a personal relationship, but she has been awesome to get to know and IM and email.
So email, post, email and post and when you've done that. Repeat the process. You are bound to trip and stumble into someone you really click with.

Hi All,

I was just listening to Enya's "Only If..." and Sophie B. Hawkins "As I Lay Me Down" and I just cannot get over how positive these two songs are. I mean, regardless of the state of blues you are in, those two songs can lift you up from anywhere!

Of course assuming that you can tolerate those artists...

So it got me wondering, what other "force of nature" songs exist that have that kind of impact on one's mood for the positive? I'd love to add them to my iTunes library.

So what do you have in your library that really can swing you for a 180?

Now, please, I know musical taste can incite riot...if you do not think the two songs I listed above are powerful like I do, then resist the urge to post....please. I'm looking for ideas that are on common ground. Thanks!

The banker is right. No?
Anyone who is admittedly founding their relationship on superficial looks deserves the due diligence an investment banker would make into any long term asset aquisition.

It is a shame she doesn't see herself as someone whose inner beauty grows which each passing year. Those ladies, in the long run, are way hotter anyways!

Nothings up?!? Well it looks like little Haley0586 is waaaay up past her bedtime! All kinds of things are cookin' right now!

I got one guy calling me a Dr. Phil on a "Jeeeeezzzz" thread.
I got another lady accusing me of being Mr. negativity on another thread.
I got an "Ewwwwwwwwww" response to my "The Miracle Of Thanksgiving" joke thread (the response I was going for).

Gosh Haley we are just off the hook here in JSH cyber land! We are totally bomb and I'm even thinking of showing up with my guitar next time!

You...you seem kinda mellow. Laid back girl, eh?

Wow bl8ant, you definitely have an interesting perspective.
Sounds like you are saying that nurjoyce had all the warning she needed. She just either didn't pay attention to it because she is blinded by hope?
Pretended it wasn't there because she is a hopeless romantic?
Saw it, knew it, and wanted to send a guy home with blue balls just for giggles.
What are the other possibilities? I checked out her profile. Of course not seeing the emails is where the sticky lives...but in the end - even if her emails were like "Ooooh baby I want you to grab me and kiss me and nibble my lip till it hurts"...Even I would do a sanity check in person befoore I attempted to execute that manuever....

Wait a minute! bl8ant! Are you the dude she went out with? Did you like bite her lip and tell her that she has to give you some ass grabbin bear hug before she knows if she does or does not want you?

With that kind of logic, every man should suck a **** to be sure that he's not a closet homosexual!

Sorry for the vivid images gang...Sorry bl8ant for accusing you. Just me stirring the pot. Maybe nurjoyce does need to slow it down a bit.

Nurjoyce, reshoot you profile pictures wearing full on cold weather parka and ski pants. See if that helps the quality of your email interests!

I think bl8ant and I got 2 totally different things from your post.

bl8ant, why do you say she should stay out of the dating pool. Sounds like she knows she wants to meet nice people and take it slow. But was caught like a deer in the headlights when this guy started working her like a BBQ rib?

Am I wrong on this one?

The question then boils down to nurjoyce being in the PDA club? The PDN club? Or the PDB club?

While women are divided on what constitutes a Personal Display of Affection, the line is clearly drawn on Personal Display of Nibbling. Women are all for it. Nothing like having a man walking awkwardly beside you through the bookstore as he gently nibbles an earlobe. Quite common in most civilized cultures.

Its the Personal Displays of Biting that is usually found only in some small tribes in the dark reaches of South America. But sometimes found here in North America as thumper95 and the "main filly in his herd" are seen to share bloody knuckles on a quite park bench. Or the romantic "chunk o'flesh from the shoulder" moments during the tenderest parts of Jane Austen movies. Yes, PDNs and PDBs are making their comeback. Gone are the nauseating PDAs with their pathetic butterfly lip kisses and penguin snuggles. Blech! Revolting! I'll take a bun nibbler or an ankle biter over a PDA any day of the week!

Lead the way nurjoyce! Burn your bra too! Go nurjoyce! Go nurjoyce!

I am still on topic aren't I?

Oh wait a sec nurjoyce...I think I see the problem...
On your profile in the section titled "Things I Want From a man", look at the one after self confident...

* who challenges me to be better
* who is self-confident
* who will throw himself on me and try to convince me that I like to be bit and want some sex even though I say NO!
* who helps me through when I am sad
* who listens and actually pays attention


Yeah, that one could be your problem....might want to update your profile. :P

Hey nurjoyce...
Wow kinda freaky!
Did you have much email contact with this guy before you went out? Consider how much you got to know about him prior to meeting him in person. Any red flags you missed?

Still that kind of behavior from him is completely unacceptable. But someone like that has to have a few screws loose upstairs to think a girl wants a guy to be that upfront and assertive....which I think the better word is agressive!

I'd suggest you go back through some of your email communications. And look for those clues. That might help you recognize another like him in the future.

See like thumper95. See how he willingly told you about his nickname vamp? So you might expect him to bite off one of your fingers if you tried to steal some of his popcorn. Those sorts of clues.

Just kidding thumper...but ya really gotta read between the lines sometimes if you're not getting a lot of honest straight forward communication.

But most of all! NEVER EVER! Always stay away from guys who smile in their profile pics! They are far too dangerous for just any girl to attempt to wrangle.....you've all been warned.
:P

NO WAY! I totally disagree.
List correction! List correction!

1. Kidnappers have to watch out for you because by now you can spot a pervert a mile away!
2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be shot first because you are not afraid to tell those idiots what you think of this little hostage game!
3. No one expects you to run--anywhere. Unless I'm running for office which you are not allowed to do if you are under 40!
4. You call peaple at 5am and say get your lazy butt out of bed a see this glorious sunrise!
5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac. They tremble with fear in the presence of one who suffers all things and drinks deeply from the cup of life!
6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
LIKE H*E*L*L! Now you can do it all over again and show it can be done the hard way!
7. Things you buy now won't wear out because now you're like "shoot - just take it off baby!" let's get naked!
8. You can eat supper at 4 pm and finish with a nice dessert of hair pie at 6pm, 7pm, 8pm and final slice at 9pm! Yahooo!
9. If you are under 60 and not hopin' to get busy everyday - you need to seriously re examine your life! Or get that blue pill!
10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans because you now understand what those corporate b*a*s*t*a*r*d*s are trying to get away with!
11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge and you no longer see them as anything more than a mere suggestion. You know where the cops are hiding...
12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room. D*A*M*N STRAIGHT! If you're 40 and can't see the sexy in mah belly, do not expect me to see the sexy in your cellulite!
13. You sing along with elevator music...if the elevator music is Rolling Stones, Beatles, Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, or Van Halen cranked up to 10!!! ROCK ON!
14. Your eyes won't get much worse unless I keep starin at some 20 year old fine piece of rear estate!
15. Real Men don't NEED Viagra. Real Men use it just so they can keep on truckin! We have contests to see if we can keep our erections for more than 4 hours! It is our women whop beg for sexual mercy! And only upon begging do we grant it!
16. Your joints are tellin you whether you should plan on having sex INdoors or OUTdoors.
17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either because we learned a while ago that remembering stuff is about as useless as tits on a bull.
18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size. That's just flat out wrong! There are so many left to annihalate! Hang in there little soldier!
19. You know where every girls G-Spot is. You just choose not to give it to them. They ain't earned it!

Every morning, his wife of 30 years has listened to her husband trumpet in each new day with the longest, loudest and generally most obscene bodily noises ever conceived.

Her consistent response, "One day, you are going to fart your guts out!" was met only with him beaming with pride at his natural ability.

Early one Thanksgiving morning, the wife, while preparing the traditional turkey for the oven, entertains a macabre idea. Like a cat she sneaks up the stairs, to the bedroom, and deposits the turkey gizzards into the underpants of her still sleeping husband.

Later, as the sun arose, the day was met with the husband's regular reveille. Then silence. The wife, downstairs working on the stuffing pauses at the silence. No sound of a "What the heck!?". Not even the sound of a toilet flushing! Nothing but just dead silence.

After about 10 minutes of this lack of response, the wife grew concerned and went over to the stairs to investigate the lack of husband. Startled as she meets him at the top of the stairs in nothing but his underpants and a ghost white complexion, he exclaims, "You were right! All those years I didn't listen to you! And you were right! One day I would fart my guts out! And today it happened!"

The wife had to exert all effort to maintain composure and not burst out laughing, until he husband declared the following:

"But with the help of God and these two fingers I got 'em all back in again!"