1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
3. No one expects you to run--anywhere.
4. People call at 9 pm and ask, Did I wake you????
5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
7. Things you buy now won't wear out.
8. You can eat supper at 4 pm .
9. You can live without sex but not your glasses.
10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.
13. You sing along with elevator music.
14. Your eyes won't get much worse.
15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.
17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because hey can't remember them either.
18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.
19. You can't remember who sent you this list.

oh the joys of getting older

So Im FINISHED

hell i'm already going through that list at 27

I'm doomed!

that's me and it's still fun

Yep. Over 40 is great!! I don't care much for the other alternative.

NO WAY! I totally disagree.
List correction! List correction!

1. Kidnappers have to watch out for you because by now you can spot a pervert a mile away!
2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be shot first because you are not afraid to tell those idiots what you think of this little hostage game!
3. No one expects you to run--anywhere. Unless I'm running for office which you are not allowed to do if you are under 40!
4. You call peaple at 5am and say get your lazy butt out of bed a see this glorious sunrise!
5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac. They tremble with fear in the presence of one who suffers all things and drinks deeply from the cup of life!
6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
LIKE H*E*L*L! Now you can do it all over again and show it can be done the hard way!
7. Things you buy now won't wear out because now you're like "shoot - just take it off baby!" let's get naked!
8. You can eat supper at 4 pm and finish with a nice dessert of hair pie at 6pm, 7pm, 8pm and final slice at 9pm! Yahooo!
9. If you are under 60 and not hopin' to get busy everyday - you need to seriously re examine your life! Or get that blue pill!
10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans because you now understand what those corporate b*a*s*t*a*r*d*s are trying to get away with!
11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge and you no longer see them as anything more than a mere suggestion. You know where the cops are hiding...
12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room. D*A*M*N STRAIGHT! If you're 40 and can't see the sexy in mah belly, do not expect me to see the sexy in your cellulite!
13. You sing along with elevator music...if the elevator music is Rolling Stones, Beatles, Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, or Van Halen cranked up to 10!!! ROCK ON!
14. Your eyes won't get much worse unless I keep starin at some 20 year old fine piece of rear estate!
15. Real Men don't NEED Viagra. Real Men use it just so they can keep on truckin! We have contests to see if we can keep our erections for more than 4 hours! It is our women whop beg for sexual mercy! And only upon begging do we grant it!
16. Your joints are tellin you whether you should plan on having sex INdoors or OUTdoors.
17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either because we learned a while ago that remembering stuff is about as useless as tits on a bull.
18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size. That's just flat out wrong! There are so many left to annihalate! Hang in there little soldier!
19. You know where every girls G-Spot is. You just choose not to give it to them. They ain't earned it!

OHH HELL NO!!! PHP