Every morning, his wife of 30 years has listened to her husband trumpet in each new day with the longest, loudest and generally most obscene bodily noises ever conceived.

Her consistent response, "One day, you are going to fart your guts out!" was met only with him beaming with pride at his natural ability.

Early one Thanksgiving morning, the wife, while preparing the traditional turkey for the oven, entertains a macabre idea. Like a cat she sneaks up the stairs, to the bedroom, and deposits the turkey gizzards into the underpants of her still sleeping husband.

Later, as the sun arose, the day was met with the husband's regular reveille. Then silence. The wife, downstairs working on the stuffing pauses at the silence. No sound of a "What the heck!?". Not even the sound of a toilet flushing! Nothing but just dead silence.

After about 10 minutes of this lack of response, the wife grew concerned and went over to the stairs to investigate the lack of husband. Startled as she meets him at the top of the stairs in nothing but his underpants and a ghost white complexion, he exclaims, "You were right! All those years I didn't listen to you! And you were right! One day I would fart my guts out! And today it happened!"

The wife had to exert all effort to maintain composure and not burst out laughing, until he husband declared the following:

"But with the help of God and these two fingers I got 'em all back in again!"

Ewwwwwwwwwwww

This reminds me of an episode of South Park .

Cartman discovers that if you shove food up your ass, you sh*t it out your mouth .