Both. For me, it can be done. I married twice; the first time, for love. The second, for practical reasons. Neither one lasted (obviously!) HA! but they were good in their own different ways while they did last. I'm all for companionship/partnership/frienship, and if you can feel really comfortable and fond of the person, that's the best bet, I think. Romance will always ebb and flow, which is normal, and I can take it, but most can't, I'm finding....

Good question.

I totally believe in "voice chemistry." If you just don't have it with someone, it's like physical chemistry -- what's there just isn't "there." I know that's stopped me from meeting someone in person, even after several emails, etc. If I don't get a good vibe from the voice, I call it off -- seems abrupt, I know, but it's a really visceral thing with me -- if I don't like someone's voice or accent, or if they use incorrect grammar, etc., I'm just not there. I wish you luck, man!

Sun in Pisces
Moon in Scorpio
Taurus Rising

I so totally understand! This happened to me around age 39-40, as well. It's like your body just starts to betray you. Horrible. I was a size 5 for all of my teen years, went up to a 7 until I was 32, when I dropped back down to a 5, and kept it off until 39. I crept up slowly, and now, on good days, I can squeeze into a size 8, but it's mostly a 10, and I'm conscious of it ALL THE TIME. I blame the media for much of this; it's just in our face all the time. I really don't think this would be much of an issue to me if I weren't bombarded every day or hour with the "skinny craze" crossing the globe.

This is absolutely the single most disappointment in my life, as it keeps me from meeting new people because I do not feel as attractive any more, which was NEVER the case; I was always pleased with how I looked. The photos on my profile are two-three years old, except the one of me standing up, which was taken Christmas 2006.

Of course now that I'm older, it's so much harder to take the weight off, plus I have a very sedentary job, and, to just add insult to injury, my physician just confirmed a few months ago that I'm going through early menopause, which of course was just joyous news. I have hot flashes, I'm bloated, the works. And I'm only 43!! It's nice to be free of my period, but my God, this is almost worse! (Sure never thought I'd say something like that!)

I am also feeling particularly sensitive about this right now, because a man in my office (thought to be a friend) told me the other day that if I "would just lose 30 pounds," I'd have men knocking at my door, be a "knockout," etc. Some friend.

I felt like someone had shot me. I was shocked, humiliated, extremely hurt, and I cried when I got off work. I'll probably remember that statement for the rest of my life, but I'm going to try to use it as incentive to lose this weight, though I'm unsure how to go about it because I've never had to diet in my entire life.


I'm now looking forward to being 50! So far, the 40s have really been tough!