i wish i was just "getting over" him but he passed away in august anddd it hurts

as valentines day gets closer i miss chris more n more what gives

love blows no ifs ands or buts about it

definatly needed that tonight!

BLUE is better

pink is for fags lol no pink fluffy things

awwwww i feel loved somebody hasta love me right lol

am i the only one? lol

LOL right on

nope i sure dont have him but i wish more than anything i did

no teddy i dont think i could because i cry about it as it is so im gonna say something to him

ty guys sooo much your the best

Finally set free from my smoky cramped prison
My mind wanders back to those dark seemingly hopeless days
In doing so there was one tiny sliver of happiness
More often than not I knew no matter how bad things got
That phone would ring and when it did all else was forgotten
For a few precious moments I was more than just a prisoner in my own home
I was not drowning in sorrow or bleeding inside from the daggers that were thrown in my heart
The thick darkness surrounding every thought finally began to retreat
To you I was not psychotic or different
I was simply me
Unbeknownst to you your friendship is a gift I treasure more than anything
It wasn’t until your absence from my tiny dark smoky world
Did I realize just how much it meant to me
Alone in the silent inky darkness of my cluttered overcrowded bedroom
Warm salty tears crawled down my cheeks, the heaviness returned to my heart
And try as I may the sobs that caught in my throat could not be muted before reaching quivering lips
Secretly I longed to hear your voice, to know that I really was not on the brink of insanity
As my mother so often suggested, may be the case
Deep down I feared that warmth you instilled to my very core may never return
Sitting here today happier than I have ever been
Free as a bird
I know beyond a shadow of a doubt if not for your friendship
I probably wouldn’t have had the courage and the strength
To lie in wait for a sensible way out
You are by far the best friend I have ever had
None of it matters now
But I do love you far more than I ever let on
It remained hidden for fear of losing you
If indeed you ever saw me in such a pathetic state
No was the answer I forced my voice to utter
Never in my life would I have guessed such a tiny word could cause so much pain
No matter how many times it was used
I only want the world for you
And it certainly wasn’t me



Inspired by Joe

it wouldnt be wrong to still tell him?

thanks

ugh leave it to me to get myself into a mess lol you guys im so sad tonight...as most of u know i FINALLY got out of my moms things were beyond sort of hellish really i dont want to go into details but yea while i was there my best friend Joe was my biggest source of comfort besides a few good friends here he asked me out several times and much to my dismay i had to say no because well the state i was in was rather pathetic and embarrassing so i never let my true feelings show finally after the 4th time of forcing myself to reject him he stopped asking and he disappeared for a long while it wasnt until then did i realize just how much he meant to me it was my intention to tell him everything as soon as i got out of my moms and finally the opportunity presented itself i was sooo happy but i discovered he now has a girlfried and for the first time i was jealous of another girl i wanted nothing more than to be his valentine because of my feelings and because by his own admission she doesnt treat him right so pretty much im in love with my best friend and i was forced to turn him down before ugh sorry had to vent im SO sad :(

of course :) no worries i must've just misunderstood what ya said is all we're cool

yea i know but still i feel a little foolish because somebody said somethin about it

lol sorry guys wrong part i wasnt thinking its been awhile since ive been here boy do i feel like an idiot

yea i think your right but hell im not complainin lol im kind of upset that he and gordan are now teamates i HATE gordan