Finally set free from my smoky cramped prison
My mind wanders back to those dark seemingly hopeless days
In doing so there was one tiny sliver of happiness
More often than not I knew no matter how bad things got
That phone would ring and when it did all else was forgotten
For a few precious moments I was more than just a prisoner in my own home
I was not drowning in sorrow or bleeding inside from the daggers that were thrown in my heart
The thick darkness surrounding every thought finally began to retreat
To you I was not psychotic or different
I was simply me
Unbeknownst to you your friendship is a gift I treasure more than anything
It wasn’t until your absence from my tiny dark smoky world
Did I realize just how much it meant to me
Alone in the silent inky darkness of my cluttered overcrowded bedroom
Warm salty tears crawled down my cheeks, the heaviness returned to my heart
And try as I may the sobs that caught in my throat could not be muted before reaching quivering lips
Secretly I longed to hear your voice, to know that I really was not on the brink of insanity
As my mother so often suggested, may be the case
Deep down I feared that warmth you instilled to my very core may never return
Sitting here today happier than I have ever been
Free as a bird
I know beyond a shadow of a doubt if not for your friendship
I probably wouldn’t have had the courage and the strength
To lie in wait for a sensible way out
You are by far the best friend I have ever had
None of it matters now
But I do love you far more than I ever let on
It remained hidden for fear of losing you
If indeed you ever saw me in such a pathetic state
No was the answer I forced my voice to utter
Never in my life would I have guessed such a tiny word could cause so much pain
No matter how many times it was used
I only want the world for you
And it certainly wasn’t me



Inspired by Joe

well done

not only do the choices we make sometimes bring loss and pain but, so to do the ones we do not make