Dear Tide,

I am writing to say what an excellent product you have! I've used it
all of my married life, as my Mom always told me it was the best. Now that
I am in my fifties I find it even better!

In fact, about a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse.
My inconsiderate and uncaring husband started to belittle me about how clumsy I was,
and generally started becoming a pain in the neck. One thing led to another and somehow
I ended up with his blood on my new white blouse! I grabbed my bottle of Tide with bleach
alternative, and to my surprise and satisfaction, all of the stains came out
In fact, the stains came out so well the detectives who came by yesterday told me that the
DNA tests on my blouse were negative and then my attorney called and said that I was no
longer considered a suspect in the disappearance of my husband.

What a relief! Going through menopause is bad enough without being a
murder suspect! I thank you, once again, for having a great product.

Well, gotta go, have to write to the Hefty bag people.

(((((Noden))))) Thank you sweetie

A driver is stopped by the police. The driver asks, "What`s the problem officer?"

Officer.... "You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone."
Man.... "No sir, I was going 65."
Wife.... "Oh Harry, you were going 80."
(The man gives his wife a dirty look.)

Officer.... "I`m also giving you a ticket for your broken tail light."
Man... "Broken tail light, didn`t know about that!"
Wife.... "Oh Harry, you`ve known about that for weeks."
(The man gives his wife another dirty look."

Officer.... "I`m also giving you a citation for not wearing your seat belt."
Man.... "Oh, I just took it off when you were walking up to the car."
Wife.... "Oh Harry, you never wear your seat belt."

The man turns to his wife and yells, "Shut the f*ck up!"

Officer.... "Ma`am, does your husband always talk to you like that?"
Wife.... "Only when he`s drunk!"

Sometimes being single has it's advantages

TOP TEN REASONS TRICK-OR-TREATING IS BETTER THAN SEX.


Number 10.

You're guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack.

Number 9.

Once you've done it, you don't have to wait an hour to do it again.

Number 8.

The uglier you look, the more likely you'll get some.

Number 7.

You don't have to make small talk with the person who gave you the treat.

Number 6.

The person giving it to you isn't fantasizing that you are someone else.

Number 5.

If you get a stomach ache, it won't last for 9 months.

Number 4.
If you wear a mask, no one thinks you're kinky.

Number 3.

It doesn't matter if the kids hear you moaning and groaning

Number 2.

The next day you don't have to call the person that gave it to you.


And the ..Number 1 reason trick-or- treating is better than sex.....


Number 1.

If you don't get what you want, you can always go next door!!


Happy Trick or Treating everyone!

(((((Denise))))) (((((Rhonda))))) (((((Mary)))))

Love you all and your always kind words

THOUGHTS.....

If I make a stupid mistake..... am I stupid or human?

If I stumble and fall......... am I clumsy... or in need of a hand?

If I say something wrong....... am I rude, or are you not willing to understand my meaning

If I look different........ am I wierd, or perhaps unique?

If I act out..... am I crazy, or someone enjoying themself

If I'm not beautiful/handsome........ am I not worth a moment of your time to know me better?

If I am a soft heart...... am I less a man?

To often we are caught up in our own fast paced lives to see the "real" of a moment or situation.
We are all looking for something, but if we don't pause to discover, that something may pass us by.

Just my opinion

It's not in the tears, but in the memories..... make them special, make them count

Incredible yes, and blessed by you

There is nothing to lose when you give it all away, as you do for us (((((Jenni)))))..... but ya gotta know girl, yer gonna get a lot back too

(((((Denise))))) My dear sweet friend

Yo buddy!

Thank you for the cool cinema. It was like a long walk thru a moment of time.

A very nice writing indeed

Very good piece my friend

(((((Pam))))) You know I love you girl!

Pennywise
datboi
Thank you very much. I try

(((((Sherri))))) my wonderful sweet friend.... You know I love you girl!

Would have been, could have been, should have been
Reflections, lost to time
Regrets in a lifetime lost with youth
On mountains we had to climb

But years will teach, and we will learn
From lessons which leave a scar
To bring you where you are today
Make you who you are

Regrets of life, of death, of love
They mold the potters clay
Shaping, ever changing
Reborn with each new day

"If I had only..", these four words
Will always bring you down
But if you had, what of today?
Just stop and look around

Would you have the things you do?
Joys that make you smile?
The friend that calls to just say "Hi"
And talk with you a while?

So I will not regret a past
That makes me feel this way
But make tomorrow better
By sculpting it today

Words

People will judge by the words that you say
Many will take you to heart
Others will listen and just never care
This is what sets us apart

Words said in general, some will confuse
Others make notes of parts they can use
Some will take things that you say to a friend
Think they're betrayed, not listen again

Words have a power that's hard to define
In thought last forever, in print wear with time
They can bring a great smile, cause a great pain
If you don't understand, words will explain

You just have to listen, or read, it's a must
Hear with your heart, if you should wish to trust
For truth is in words, it's there for the seeing
But the heart holds their meaning, in listening

When you are away....

I've thought of you much with the passing of day
I've found that I miss you while you are away
I looked to your window, no light shining through
Much like my heart with the absense of you

Your voice in my ear, is a pleasure to me
The smile on your face, the treasure I seek
I'm caught in the pain of not having you there
Bringing me joy, with the wonder you share

There's things I would tell you if you were just here
That lost in your absense, I couldn't make clear
The feelings I have which cut like a knife
Desires I have, for you in my life

I await your return for my heart leaves no choice
Inspires this writing to give it a voice
Hoping your heart will be touched by it's plea
To bring you still closer, and closer, to me

What I Am, Am Not

I am the best friend, the one who has your back
I am the driver, when faculties you lack
I am the explorer, I'll be there as you seek
I am a crying shoulder, to aid you when your weak

I am the constant dreamer, with thoughts to make you smile
I am the open hand for you, to help you walk your mile
I am the smile, to cheer you up when you are feeling down
I am the arms, to hold you, when there's noone else around

I am the wall, to shield you from lifes ill blowing winds
I am the rock, to hold to, until your ship comes in
I am the fan, I'll give you praise to make you feel a star
I am the air, I'll be with you no matter where you are


I am not the cold heart, who turns their back on you
I am not the preacher, who tells you what to do
I am not the lawyer, I'm next to you in jail
I am not a coward, on you I'll never bail

I am not a judge, no need to plead your case with me
I am not a jail cell, I wish you to be free
I am not a rose bush, but I'll bless you with a flower
I am not a clock, but I'll share with you the hours

I am not the wealthy man, but I will always share
I am not a doctor, but I will always care
I am not a detour, but I will help you through
I am not complete, unless I am with you