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Headstrong feat. Shelley Harland - Helpless (Aurosonic Progressive Mix)
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Topic:
Friends are like ....
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I got the shovel... oh he's not dead yet? 
Who said he needed to be dead?  
I like the way you think... First I hit the loser with the shovel then you push him in the hole 
Oh my... girls, you are so bad!!! I will take my shovel with me, I can help to dig the hole.
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Topic:
guys vs girls - part 192
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816
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Topic:
guys vs girls - part 192
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815
Night Mikey! 
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Topic:
guys vs girls - part 192
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815
Russian accent is boring. Try Estonian one. |
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Topic:
guys vs girls - part 192
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815
Do you read them loud? |
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Topic:
Love and travel
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I believe if it is to live with/marry someone, then that in its self is the bigger risk, not the matter of whether they live local or the other side of the world, and if you are prepared to do that you must be in love with them, and if I were in love with them, then I would be prepared to relocate anywhere. Thank you! I got my answer. |
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Topic:
guys vs girls - part 192
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815
My posts are cynical. |
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Topic:
guys vs girls - part 192
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815
Nothing much. I just have to stop posting all that kind of stuff. |
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Topic:
guys vs girls - part 192
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815
Good evening Minglers!
Please don't hate me for who I am. |
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Bouncing off a posting in another thread... When approx do you start thinking about the future with the one you're seeing? To start to look down that road? Reason for asking... men often know within 5 mins she's the one he wants to grow old with, yet I've also noticed many men do not want to think about the future too soon? That seems to contradict? So how does that work for you guys? Can you even look down the road, if so, why don't you? And girls, do you think of the future almost right away or can you date someone for yonks without doing that? I know I can't. When I invest in someone, I need to know it's potentially going somewhere. I need to feel it's not "just dating". I don't do 'just dating', I can't. When I'm not interested in a future with a guy I'm not interested in dating him either. It's the way I'm wired, if I don't feel he is a potential match, I simply lose interest on the spot. Plus, I get attached easily so there has to be mutual interest for more than that, otherwise I'll end up getting hurt. Which boils down to: When I date a guy for the 2nd time or more, I am interested in a future with him. Otherwise he wouldn't have made it to round 2 
Suffice it to say that in all the 4 yrs being single no one made it to round 2 but him 
" men often know within 5 mins she's the one he wants to grow old with, yet I've also noticed many men do not want to think about the future too soon? That seems to contradict?" It seems to me, that this common seeming contradiction is a result of how many people express themselves, with a little non-thinking mixed in. What the "instant forever" people are usually REALLY saying, isn't that they want to spend the rest of their REAL lives with you, they are saying that they want what is going on right this second, to last a really long time. I've had to deal with a number of women over the years who did the same thing using different words: their way of putting it, was that they were unsatisfied with being with me in every day life, and that they wanted a return to how they felt when we were just dating. I must agree on that. That dating thing... Two people meeting up, trying to give the best impression of themselves, revealing just the best parts of them, leaving the others blank. Human mind fills quickly those blanks with desired images and voila...the ideal partner to fall in love with - the illusion. They do have feelings, that full-filling euphoria and excitement and great passion. And they really do want to be with this illusion forever. Only problem, the partner they had in their minds isn't quite the same they dated with. But when daily life begins and reality hits, then comes disappointment and the partner to blame...that he/she isn't the same person anymore...that illusion. Take your dates for 1-2 weeks to wild nature to hike and you will find out pretty soon, if you two have any potential for longer future together. That is quite the negative outlook, although I guess for many it goes that way. It going that way or not mostly depends on yourself. If you want to fall in love, are in love with being in love, then yes, that is bound to happen. But if you've grown, done the work (personal growth through which you got wiser and more empowered) you don't go about it that way. And then the outcome can be totally different. We hit if off on the 1st date. And I admit, that is pretty unusual, and overwhelming as well to have those deep feelings right away. You gotta be able to handle that. But it just goes to show that it can happen. As for hiking: Dutch ppl don't hike. We haven't got wild nature either, not really. Small bits and pieces that we call 'woods' or 'forest' and Americans would call a park. The closest to wild nature we got are the motorways, haha. Yes Crystal, this is quite negative outlook. And relationships nowadays have quite negative outlook. I know only 3 couples of my age (40) near to me who have been together from their young age. The rest of moving together, then moving apart, jumping from one relationship to another, getting married, having kids and then getting divorced and dating again and all over again... and then saying that we can handle it as grown and have different outcomes, but still being here and single again (sorry Crystal, I'm not referring to you or anyone else) and looking for next dates. And I'm not different. So, what's wrong with us then? |
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Topic:
Love and travel
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For many people;LOVE is powerful;LOVE move or change several aspects of our lives;LOVE is synonymous of happiness;LOVE is the only reason to exist;LOVE is everything....and more. To find LOVE; are you ready to travel any distance and/or to relocate permanently even in other city or country? I'm curious to read your comments Have a nice day! You have to be careful when they are living very far away. I once started to fall for someone living in another country and they turned out to be a scammer, we exchanged emails for a month before they requested money, it was all very depressing for me. In my opinion you need to keep things friendly but not too friendly, until you are absolutely convinced they are whom they say they are and that takes time to establish. I no longer look for a long distance relationship because it is not an easy option, but if I found someone I really liked online, then I would take the risk in travelling to meet them, probably as a holiday for myself so if it all went wrong I would at least enjoy the holiday. If it all went right, then I would not rule out relocating. Same happened to me Duttoneer only it took longer for me to figure it out. For me, I wouldn't let that experience stop me from any future possibilities. It sucked and hurt, but was a lesson well learned and taught me to be more careful. I have since introduced a new condition, if they live in another country, they have to send me money to prove they are real.
Good idea, I'll do the same...not really, lol. You made a lot of good points so thanks. It's sad when others take advantage of kind hearted and trusting people. But, it's life too and helps us be more mindful.
Just a question, Is there actually big difference between moving together with someone near you or with someone from another country? Seems like it's easier to move together with someone local, because then you have back-up door to walk out. If you have moved to another country and invested all your finances to moving, then you don't have back-up anymore, right? So, you want to be for 100% sure that if you are going to move to the other country, then the relationship is worth it and it's going to last. But with somebody near you requires less certainty and less responsibility, because you can always walk out of this. Is it really about moving then? Or maybe it's about level of commitment you are ready to make? |
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Bouncing off a posting in another thread... When approx do you start thinking about the future with the one you're seeing? To start to look down that road? Reason for asking... men often know within 5 mins she's the one he wants to grow old with, yet I've also noticed many men do not want to think about the future too soon? That seems to contradict? So how does that work for you guys? Can you even look down the road, if so, why don't you? And girls, do you think of the future almost right away or can you date someone for yonks without doing that? I know I can't. When I invest in someone, I need to know it's potentially going somewhere. I need to feel it's not "just dating". I don't do 'just dating', I can't. When I'm not interested in a future with a guy I'm not interested in dating him either. It's the way I'm wired, if I don't feel he is a potential match, I simply lose interest on the spot. Plus, I get attached easily so there has to be mutual interest for more than that, otherwise I'll end up getting hurt. Which boils down to: When I date a guy for the 2nd time or more, I am interested in a future with him. Otherwise he wouldn't have made it to round 2
Suffice it to say that in all the 4 yrs being single no one made it to round 2 but him
" men often know within 5 mins she's the one he wants to grow old with, yet I've also noticed many men do not want to think about the future too soon? That seems to contradict?" It seems to me, that this common seeming contradiction is a result of how many people express themselves, with a little non-thinking mixed in. What the "instant forever" people are usually REALLY saying, isn't that they want to spend the rest of their REAL lives with you, they are saying that they want what is going on right this second, to last a really long time. I've had to deal with a number of women over the years who did the same thing using different words: their way of putting it, was that they were unsatisfied with being with me in every day life, and that they wanted a return to how they felt when we were just dating. I must agree on that. That dating thing... Two people meeting up, trying to give the best impression of themselves, revealing just the best parts of them, leaving the others blank. Human mind fills quickly those blanks with desired images and voila...the ideal partner to fall in love with - the illusion. They do have feelings, that full-filling euphoria and excitement and great passion. And they really do want to be with this illusion forever. Only problem, the partner they had in their minds isn't quite the same they dated with. But when daily life begins and reality hits, then comes disappointment and the partner to blame...that he/she isn't the same person anymore...that illusion. Take your dates for 1-2 weeks to wild nature to hike and you will find out pretty soon, if you two have any potential for longer future together. |
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Ohh... I haven't done that dating thing for some time now. But when I did, I never thought about my dates as a possible future partners, it wasn't a purpose. I usually went out, had fun..or not so much fun, or an interesting evening. I have found few great friends in my life this way, not partnership way.
Going through endless amounts of dates isn't really my way to look for love. Like having couple of dates... finding out that he isn't the right guy... then good bye.. next one please... So, I really can't tell in numbers how many dates I would need. I just don't have experience in this... and not going to gain them either. I don't have such big hopes towards someone I have just met. For me the possibility of common future comes up with someone I love and he loves me back the same way. We both should get to know each-other well enough to be sure that we can go through the roughest times together too, not just good ones. So, I need my time to spend with him, let it grow, before building up dreams and making big decisions. I'm really not interested of another temporary thing, wasting my time, my feelings, my energy and my life just to move together, then acknowledge.. aah, didn't work out... wrong guy... and then split again. The transition time from unstable teenage years is over and now I'm ready to invest only into someone I have faith in and we are both ready for lasting commitment... to the end of our days. I know, there is always a chance it still won't happen, but then I can say... at least I tried my best and didn't settle on less. So, my answer... When I start thinking about the future with someone? How long it takes? Who know's, I'm doing it for the first time...and last... As long it takes, I guess... |
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Less thinking...more acting...oh wait...I forgot, it isn't up to me... Thinking, thinking, thinking... naah! Go to work, woman!!!
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For me it has always been one's ego For me it has been my own ego... mostly.. |
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Topic:
guys vs girls - part 192
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818
Oh, how rude of me.. How was your day? |
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Topic:
How to keep a relationship
Edited by
SipSik
on
Thu 05/11/17 02:24 PM
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I was wondering, I've been in relationships in past but never lasted long. How do you keep a relationship with a girl? Ohh... if we just would know... But I'm going to find out and will let you know if I will succeed. |
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Topic:
guys vs girls - part 192
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816
Thank you Pisces! |
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Topic:
guys vs girls - part 192
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815
I don't know how to tell those things in more softer way. My social skills aren't very good. 
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