Hello and welcome

Nicely done mig ... I can feel the 'need' in them

Awwww, how did I get so lucky? Hello friends

Sending love and strength old friend.

What if there is no right choice ... just a choice.

Make a choice. If it doesn't last long term... Choose again.


In your case, however, it seems like you are just looking to another woman to distract you from the fact that you didn't resolve your feelings for the first one. That is a really unfair thing to do to someone.

Choose happy!

As long as everyone is on the same page and you are clear in your expectations do whatever you want to do. Just be aware...

For women -- oxytocin (bonding agent ) is released during sexual arousal which causes bonding at a hormonal level. Over time, like any conditioned response, your body will produce it whenever you see your lover which can lead to some pretty unhealthy bonding if this is just a casual thing.

Oxytocin does not produce the same kind of chemical bonding for the guy. They are wired differently.

Dammit.....sex without crazy attachment AND they can pee standing up!!!

My days vary. Lately I have been in 'creative mode' which typically means all nighters - going to bed at 6 or 7 am. When I facilitate workshops and classes ... I am up by 7am ... I feel like I live more than one life simultaneously.


When I wake up I always ask 'what amazing adventures await today?' or 'what would it take for today to be even more amazing than yesterday?' or 'What infinite possibilities lie ahead today?'

It sets a nice tone of gratitude and anticipation for the day.


I tend to follow the energy so every morning is different. Some days it is straight to the shower. Other days it is responding to email or making changes to my website before 'getting ready' for the day. Sometimes a morning meditation and others, I record an audio for one of my programs.

A protein shake or eggs some mornings ... other days just water or a cup of tea

As an entrepreneur there is no weekday/weekend ... just one big blissful blur of yummy!

My opinion is just my own interesting point of view. That doesn't make it right, wrong or true.

If someone asks me, I typically answer but always from a place of caring. If they are asking from a place of insecurity, I would generally point them in the direction of remembering the contribution they are.

To live in joyful optimism, caring, gratitude and a space of no judgment.

Thank you wonderful men for your responses

d4tc, TBR, DD, Burgundy, Moe, Goof, Hippy, John - lovely to see you all again

Prints & extreme - nice to 'virtually' meet you -

I am loving your insights.

I've always believed the most irresistible thing about anyone is their ability to be at ease with themselves. Confidence is a part of that but it is more than that. Would you agree?

I also think that a woman's primary need in a relationship is to feel safe and a man's is to be respected. I don't mean that women don't value respect, we do ... just not first.

And ... as Goofball pointed out about belittling killing attraction ... to me that would be a form of disrespect challenging a fundamental need.

What are your thoughts?


I see a lot of women calling their beautiful manly men baby names ... snookums, baby cakes etc... I always call my guy sexy or lover. I want him to know that I value his manliness and that I desire him and that I think of him as a lover first. Does it make a difference what your woman calls you - in terms of attraction, desire, feeling yummy or feeling manly?


In my experience, people pleasing women turn themselves inside out to make other people happy while subjugating their own needs. It is typically a self esteem thing. There is a difference between pleasing your partner or others because it is your desire to do so and doing because you derive your self worth from it.

Extreme - I love what you wrote in #1. In my experience most career women function from a more masculine place. But when they bring that home it is competition in the house. This culture seems to revere the masculine traits while devaluing the feminine ones particularly in business. Part of what I teach women to own their femininity - there is great power and potency in it as there is for men who can sit in their masculinity.

One is not better than the other. And we all possess the both masculine and feminine. I think that a woman who can sit in her femininity gives space for the man to sit fully in his masculine and creates a very harmonious and strong energy in the home. And it allows us to function very differently...and complementary... in business.

I see three kinds of women...the first wants you to take care of her...the second wants to prove she can do everything herself ... and the third knows she can do it herself but is open and receptive to you.

And the men I see typically just want a woman to receive them - they want to know that aren't going to be rejected, they want to know that their partner will receive their contribution and help, and they want to know that they can please their woman.

Would you agree?


Did I mention you guys are awesome? Thanks so much for your very thoughtful responses.

Hello Ladies and Gentleman

Thank you so much for your responses.

Brand can mean many things. Self identity - yes. How do you present yourself? How much thought do you give to the impression you are making, etc.


If you are in a relationship with a man, what is most important to you? Feeling accepted? Feeling safe? Being respected? etc.

And what kills attraction?

Join in the forum conversations. I promise, you won't feel invisible for long!

For as many people who post, oodles more lurk and read. They observe how people are and trust is built when there is some kind of consistency of behaviour. It gives you a chance to let your personality shine ... allowing us all to get to know you. You'll be surprised at difference it can make! I wouldn't be surprised if you start getting attention right away!

Hello Willy,

You've been here for months but this is your first post in the forums. I used to be a regular here and met many amazing men and women. I made many friends and dated a few men ... one for 2 years.

My best advice to you is to join in the conversations. It allows people to see your personality. They get to know you. Then when you send a message, you are not some random stranger. You've already interacted with them in the threads, or they've seen you in the threads. In fact, you will likely notice an increase in people contacting you -- prompted by something you shared in the forum.

For every person that posts there are oodles of Minglers who lurk ... they don't post, you don't know they are there but they read, they observe. When people can see you in the threads, trust is built because they see a consistency of behaviour.

I can't tell you the number of times I was contacted in response to something I posted and I'd never seen nor heard of the person before. Some of my greatest online friendships started that way.

There are a ton of scammers on this site. The mods do a great job of cleaning up the place but scammers build profiles faster than I can take a sip of water. just tonight I had profile visits from 10-12 of them. It makes some women hesitant to respond to random emails ... and fewer still respond to winks and nudges without any other interaction.

This can be a wonderful way to meet people, form connections and potentially find someone special but as with most things in life...what you put into it is what you get out of it.

Also, you have not included very much information about yourself in your profile. It doesn't give a woman much to go on. Maybe let a little of your personality shine in your profile. It is your "first impression". Be confident and put your best foot forward.

Hope that helps! Good luck!

...and welcome to the forums!

Wowee girl!!! That's a big step! Sending best wishes and squeezie hugs! I know you'll do great!

Wow ... where to begin with that ...


If you wanted out of your relationships, why didn't you just get out? It sounds to me like you just wanted to inflict the most amount of pain possible...

My sense is that you just weren't getting what you wanted in your relationship and you were hurt by his accusations. As an individual you have choices always! You could have explained to your partner that the behaviour would not be tolerated ... you could have left if he wasn't stepping up to the plate to provide what you required ... cheating on a guy - especially with his friend is the ultimate in disrespect to him. And if I have learned anything about men from facilitating hundreds of men and women over the years, it is that once they feel disrespected, their interest in you plummets. Tell me I'm wrong guys!

If you just wanted to sleep with the other guy because it was honoring of you, you wouldn't feel a need to brag about it and you would have handled it in a way that was not a dishonoring of the relationship you were in.

I am not in judgment of you at all OP ... this is just my opinion.


As for the question .. no, I have never had revenge sex. Sweet and sensual sex ...yes! Down and dirty sex ... absolutely! Revenge sex? Never!

There has to be attraction and commonality and diversity to for a lasting relationship with someone. Personally, I have found that conventional standards of beauty don't apply. I am connected with who I am connected with and I don't buy into the whole media machine of what has been annointed as 'attractive'.

That being said, I think that I and others (men and women) like me are in the minority....for now ...

No, sex is not required for a relationship ....

....with a friend or family member!


But YES it is necessary in a life partner scenario. Sex is icing for a great relationship ... it is kind of a non-issue. But for couples having trouble... sex is an absolute necessity. In a strained relationship it is the beginning of the end if partners stop connecting in this way

Hey beautiful, all is wonderful! How have you been?

Hello friends old and new... just stopping by to say hello and to wish you the best of spring!

I am the all seeing "I"


Welcome!