Community > Posts By > ArtGurl

 
ArtGurl's photo
Fri 04/19/13 03:05 AM
Great personality all the way!

ArtGurl's photo
Thu 04/18/13 11:52 PM
Welcome Cody waving

ArtGurl's photo
Thu 04/18/13 11:37 PM


October 27, 2014


If that date is a prediction, That's a looong time.


Yes...well.... had he said an amazing woman to love who would love him back it could be sooner but 'dream girls' take time. :wink:

ArtGurl's photo
Thu 04/18/13 05:55 PM

1) Like Leigh, I never gave much though to my brand when I was younger but we all have one whether we are conscious of it or not. What I find interesting about it is that people can form very rigid ideas about who they have decided we are so if you show up outside the box of their expectation suddenly 'you've changed'. It isn't that we've changed, we are still being us. It is that they had expectations of who we are that were limited to the what they had already decided about you and you are functioning outside of that. Some people will roll with your evolution and some won't. (remember the New Coke fiasco? laugh )

These days I am much more conscious of my 'brand' and my influence.



2. I agree, tire kickers are pretty easy to spot when you own who you are. So many women though derive their self worth from the validation they get from men which makes them quite vulnerable.


3. I am in currently in a relationship so am not looking to attract anyone at all. I do tend to attract both men I would date and men I wouldn't choose to.

4. The qualities I look for are acceptance, confidence, caring, authenticity...


5. I agree with ViaMusica, there are several things that are important but acceptance is first for me.

6. Like Singme -- controlling or violent behaviour kills it for me



If I could speak to my 20-year old self, I would tell her to follow her dreams without fear. I would tell her to stop judging herself and her body. And I would tell her that who she is ... is enough!


ArtGurl's photo
Thu 04/18/13 05:18 PM

Should you lie:

I worked with a portrait artist once who always flattered his subject to the point that his final portrait didn't really resemble the old hag sitting in front of him.

He was very handsome himself. One day a 50 year old woman had a portrait done and it barely resembled her--- and the woman looked twenty years old in the picture.

At first she was very skeptical. She was paying $30.00 for this portrait in pastels.

She asked him, "Do I really look like that?"

He smiled at her and said "To me you do!"

She couldn't resist his charm.




Now that guy knows how to manipulate! They both get what they want and leave feeling good about the exchange! I love it!

ArtGurl's photo
Thu 04/18/13 05:14 PM
May I just say ... you women are amazing! flowerforyou

Thank you so much for your thoughtful responses. I am so grateful for your honesty and vulnerability in sharing these pieces of you.


I know this will get a few eye rolls, but the only specific quality is "us" , how well we mesh....If he "gets" me and I "get" him and we like what we get, as a couple we're going to sizzle...


I didn't roll my eyes at all Leigh. In fact, isn't that really what all of us want...men and women? To just be accepted for who we are, to accept others for who they are...can't you just feel every cell in your body relax in that?

When I facilitate classes, one of the questions I always ask groups is 'how many of you have at least one person in your life that doesn't judge you about anything ever?'

No matter where these classes are in the world the results have been consistent...20-25%. In actuality, I am surprised that it is that high but even so that leaves 75% of the people who feel judged and not acceptable as they are by even 1 person. That is a travesty in my mind.

...but ... I digress ... as I often do ... :smile:


If you could speak to your 20-year-old self knowing all you know now. What would you say to you?

ArtGurl's photo
Thu 04/18/13 04:54 PM
Edited by ArtGurl on Thu 04/18/13 05:21 PM
Thanks John flowerforyou



Mikey!!!!!!! Don't you know? My cup already runneth over with Boobies! laugh You are looking for any opportunity to get spanked! pitchfork


C'mon Mikey ... what made a woman irresistible to you? The way she smiled? The way she made you feel desired? The way she cut the crusts off your bologna sandwich? bigsmile

ArtGurl's photo
Thu 04/18/13 04:13 PM

It isn't just imprinting, and the person does have a lot to do with it. Oxytocin does facilitate bonding in men as well as in women. I used to work in a medical school, and helped type up some of the research results on studies of this nature. I actually saw the research results and raw data.




Cool, tell me more please :smile:

I have had several conversations with friends who are doctors about this but they read the studies, they don't do them. They've said that men bond to the overall situation...the danger, the location and to a much lesser extent to the person. And they've said that the woman primarily bonds to the person.

I'd be interested in what you know about this.

ArtGurl's photo
Thu 04/18/13 04:00 PM


As long as everyone is on the same page and you are clear in your expectations do whatever you want to do. Just be aware...

For women -- oxytocin (bonding agent ) is released during sexual arousal which causes bonding at a hormonal level. Over time, like any conditioned response, your body will produce it whenever you see your lover which can lead to some pretty unhealthy bonding if this is just a casual thing.

Oxytocin does not produce the same kind of chemical bonding for the guy. They are wired differently.

Dammit.....sex without crazy attachment AND they can pee standing up!!! grumble

Actually, oxytocin works in men, too. Perhaps not quite as stongly in (most) men as in (most) women, but it does affect them and lead to bonding.


In men it is imprinting. For example,if their first sexual encounter had an element of danger like getting caught, that is what is imprinted. Later in life they will feel more attached when sex gives them the same feeling. It is more the sex and the circumstances than the person.

Women hormonally bond with the person.

So yes, it affects both but in very different ways. At least that is what the neuroscientists say. As with everything in this cornucopia of humanity, there are always exceptions.

ArtGurl's photo
Thu 04/18/13 03:30 PM
Look around. All the ladies are sexy!

ArtGurl's photo
Thu 04/18/13 03:56 AM
415

ArtGurl's photo
Thu 04/18/13 03:54 AM
My whole life is fun...living in the moment and enjoying what shows up ... the little and the grande things

ArtGurl's photo
Thu 04/18/13 03:47 AM
Nix

ArtGurl's photo
Thu 04/18/13 03:45 AM
Lass

ArtGurl's photo
Thu 04/18/13 03:43 AM
Atom?

ArtGurl's photo
Thu 04/18/13 03:36 AM
October 27, 2014

ArtGurl's photo
Thu 04/18/13 03:23 AM
I have been away for a long time, it is nice to be remembered.

Pleased to 'virtually' meet you lexzy :smile:

ArtGurl's photo
Thu 04/18/13 03:01 AM
Not single

ArtGurl's photo
Thu 04/18/13 03:01 AM

Taken love

But she's 3000 miles away indifferent




awwww I hope you get to see her soon! flowerforyou

ArtGurl's photo
Thu 04/18/13 02:54 AM
Edited by ArtGurl on Thu 04/18/13 02:55 AM
Oh GOD!!!!

pitchfork laugh