Never ever did I offer any excuse, in fact have reiterated over and over that cheating is wrong and a violation of trust. My only point is are you going to take one incident and not be forgiving of your partner at the risk of ending what still can be an awesome relationship as it was before the incident if the cheater is truly seeking forgiveness and the victim is capable of forgiving to save the relationship. Yes it is a decision that needs to be made by the couple involved of course. This is only a suggestion to other options that exist and I don't believe that a moment of infidelity should just be contrived as the end all. I'm done with having my words twisted around to mean something I did not say

in order of their ranking of my esteem

My Mother/Loved me no matter what (unconditionally)
Brother/Friend, understanding, compassionate and caring
My Dad/Devoted, loving and nurturing
My 1st Stepfather/Integrity, mild mannerism, taught by example not admonition
My 1st wife/Loving, caring, understanding and devoted. (my bad)
My Friends in CA/supportive, forgiving and devoted

At the point and time when someone cheats in a relationship, they realize (or at least they should) that they are not being committed to that relationship and after it is said and done, could have feelings of remorse and realize they have made a grave "mistake". If they are truly sorry and seeking forgiveness, and I don't mean after they've done this several times, are you able to be forgiving. Like I have said and I'll say it again. You both need to either come to terms with the event and move forward if the relationship is worthy of reconciliation, or decide it is not worthy and end it with hopes of finding another you can trust not to violate their commitment ever, as obviously you are unable to forgive even one time.

"No person except a natural born Citizen, or a Citizen of the United States."

The issue that is raised in this thread regarding this was Obama taking 2 years to provide documentation. It's just not that hard of a process when you know where you were born and where your records are on file in order to get a certified copy of that documentation. The huge difference between Ted Cruz and Obama is he is just now starting his campaign and has already proven his Citizenship that falls within the guidelines. Why was Obama allowed to proceed with a Presidential Campaign without proof or documentation until actually 3 years after starting his campaign.

Lol

I understand your point of developing expectations based on experience. However, I don't believe that you can start a new relationship where trust in that person is governed by violated trust of previous relationships. It would be advisable to go into a new relationship with an understanding that you have certain expectations that cannot be violated under any circumstance. The responsibility of commitment to each other falls on both of you. I'm not saying that your expectations are unreasonable, but I think it will be a hindrance in accepting another person in your life. For instance, if the person you're interested in cheated on a previous partner but fully admits they made a mistake and would never do it again, would you be able to accept that. If you didn't, I think you would be hard pressed to find another partner that you could trust, as most of us who are divorced or single in the later stage of life are either a victim or the perpetrator of unfaithfulness.

or a mother, and sometimes father, which often times is a natural ability. Unconditional love is truly difficult to achieve, but I think it is a valuable element in any lasting relationship.

"We all have certain people in our lives that we hold in highest
regard because of a certain quality, or combination of qualities
that they have. What quality is it about the people in your life
that causes you to hold that person in such high esteem. Be
specific in who those people are such as Spouse, family member,
friend etc. and what qualities they possess.

Example: Brother/Sense of humor, devoted
List as many as you like

I didn't indicate either, it applies to both of you after the fact that one violated the relationship.

agreed

integrity and sense of humor

Congratulations.

lol, leave it to Panch

Having morals/values is all to important for both people to possess. To me, in the rules of unconditional love there is no line. I don't believe you can classify yourself as being a doormat over one event. If the event becomes a repeated problem then yes, you would have reason to question if you should continue in the relationship. You need to weigh what you had against something that happens in the relationship that devalues what you had. "sounds like their spouse didn't do a very good job of it to me" is to assume that you never erred or never will err in your commitment to your spouse. In the perfect world you can assume that you will always be faithful just as your partner did, however, none of us are perfect.

i think the point that I'm trying to make is broadly missed here is that none of us are infallible. We all make mistakes and those mistakes fall into a wide range of critical to insignificant consequence. Yes, cheating is the most often violated rule of a relationship but Love in it's truest form can prevail all circumstances when both can recognize and reconcile over the violation. It's not an easy one, but to draw a line in the sand based on your own level of tolerance and assuming "once a cheater ALWAYS a cheater" or any other preconceived notions, you're not giving your partner the benefit of a doubt and you are placing limits on your love. You are willing to risk all that you had together over a single circumstance even to the point that odds are good you will never find another love like what you have with that partner. Which is easier? To reconcile your differences and continue with a known and valued relationship that you have already established with that partner, or start all over in hopes of finding another that will be equal or better. Hoping that person wont cheat on you or you won't fall into your owns selfishness and cheat on him/her.

Cheating is still a mistake. Making the wrong choices at a point in time in your relationship. If it becomes repeatedly a problem then yes, you have not reconciled the mistake and you can never rebuild your partners trust.

exactly my point. You promise to love each other unconditionally. after you have encountered unfaithfulness and both of you can reconcile your difference over it, forgive but you will never forget, it is easier to stay in the marriage than to divide it and possibly never have a relationship like you had with your now ex. It happens quite often, many regret divorcing because of the difficulty in filling a void that should be damn hard to fill if you both actually loved each other.

I'm not trying to justify anything. Cheating is wrong, it's a mistake and both the man and woman are susceptible to mistakes. But if you've had good loving relationship for say 5 years. Are you willing to throw those 5 years away that you may never find another partner that will give you the love that the one that cheated on you did. If the cheater realizes and is truly sorry that he/she made a mistake and continue in their love (and of course you have to build the trust back up) you can survive unfaithfulness in a marriage.

2ahlan or . can you speak english

ok, here it goes, this is my worst date and I'm glad it happened early in my life. I was 17, she was 14. She told her parents she was going to stay at a friends house and I picked her up in my Volkswagen. On my way to pick her up I had a porche challenge me to a race. I had an 83 ml bore kit in the bug and it moved. I took the challenge and shifted into second to hard and got it stuck. The whole night we drove to get out in the desert and spend the night together............in 2nd gear. It was my first time but she was already sleeping with a Marine. It was a disastrous night and neither of us even got off and we drove back that morning.......in 2nd gear. I don't think we said 2 words the whole way back.