lol, believe me, I am very attentive to all aspects of my life and I enjoy the things I like when I can. To know me is to understand my agenda and as my life gets very busy from May to December, My time is very restricted in finding a partner so there is a sense of urgency in doing what I need to do to sort through many "possibles" that before I even say hi, their is already a reason to pursue the ones that are the remainders of the "possibles". By the way my current mustache is a bit more than two weeks as I had to shave it off to have a cancer removed above my upper lip (still slightly noticeable) but I am thankful to be able to get it back.

I agree with this. I also know the difference between pursuing and forcing. If a woman is hesitant to reveal herself to me, whereas I have no problem telling her anything and everything about myself, then I feel she is hiding something or is insecure in building a relationship. There is a pace that is reasonable and there is a pace that is wasting time, and also a pace which can lead to careless actions or reactions if you rush. I try to keep moving at a steady but productive pace. So far it has worked well in finding some very gratifying relationships. But the trade off is the more you find, the greater the chance of heartbreak, and yesterday was one that seemed too unbearable. The upside to that is, it will happen sooner than later

very positive and encouraging response.......thanks

I know too well what I want. I sort through literally 100's of profiles and only a selected few are persued, but even in the select few are even fewer that want to be challenged with questions and efforts of moving forward in a relationship. I will not beat around the bush, as my interest grows so will my pursuit. It does lead to more heartache, but yesterdays heartache was much to bear and drove me deep into depression. Thanks to a helpful mingler (who will remain anonymous) She was able to give me the support and encouragement I needed to rise again and move on.

easy to say when your 38

Agreed, and thanks for you response

I am a fool hearted old man. Women can find their way into it very easily just by being caring and receptive, and I react, many times to haste-fully in handing my heart and soul to her. It was carelessly broken yesterday due to my hasteful, selfish desire, and sent me diving into a very deep and dangerous depression. thanks to a lovely and caring woman, she came along side me to lift my spirit and put my heart and mind on the right track to recover from my despair. I am still hurting, but finding it much more manageable then it was last night.

As I search for that someone, I am often disappointed but that comes with putting forth a true effort to find her. I do move quickly sorting through the profiles to find the probable prospect, as I find someone I will move as slowly as I can bear to but being 62, I really do not have much time to waste. Forgive me my friends for my moment of frailness as I have a foolish and tender heart that has been broken so many times that I no longer guard it as it has calloused over time. It's as if I dare the next woman to break it again, and she most likely will.

I have no family.........keep smiling
I have no one in my life............keep smiling
I have no income............keep smiling
I have no self esteem...........keep smiling
I have no hope................keep smiling
I have no life..................keep smiling


I'm a lover, a dreamer, used to have a good sense of humor, use to be the life of the party (no fun, when it's a party of one), i'm scared to death, literally


Keep smiling..............right

Only God has the answers, I have no clue what they are

here is all I have in my life. I have no family. I have no one to hold me, hug me, kiss me, care for me. I have a home that if some miracle doesn't happen within the next 4 months I will lose it. I've sold off much of what I have just to get to this useless worthless point in my life. I'm not moping, I'm out and out in deep pain. I have nothing

I am in to deep of a hole to recover. All that really doesn't matter anymore. The only thing that can save me is to escape from this isolation and feeling that I have to face everything alone and it's all too overwhelming................I CAN'T DO IT ANYMORE!!!!!!!!'

and as we speak, I found the end to another pursuit. This seems so hopeless, it doesn't matter about time anymore, I simply have none left. Without love, and certainly without hope of love, there is no meaning in life. I'm a downer folks, no body wants a downer.

at age 62, in order to build a relationship and have some quality time to enjoy it, time is of the essence. Considering as many prospects I had hopes for and proved to be non fruitful, I have to commit a large portion of my time to research. I believe there is someone out there for me (hopefully the one I'm pursuing now) but they are just not easy to find. Not trying to hurry so much as I am trying to evaluate a lot of information without consuming too much time.

Well then that too would depend on transparency, is it a combination or key lock

In moving forward in a relationship, what governs the pace in which a relationship advances? I believe it has a lot to do with how transparent each other is being. I don't think there is any set pace, only the rate in which both partners learn about each other. The more you can learn the sooner you can decide if it is a relationship to move forward with or just remain at the current level or not pursue the relationship any further.

I have to think when someone says they are looking for a serious relationship, it would be a given that they don't expect to just meet someone and say "hi, will you marry me?". Of course there needs to be mutual interest and that can only start by talking with the person and getting to know them. What you are looking for is only a statement of how advanced you would like a relationship to grow into.

there are different levels of relationships that people are interested in and depict in their profile

Looking for a friend
looking for a date
Looking for someone to have fun with
looking for a relationship
looking for a serious relationship
Looking for a marriage
etc, etc.

It should be understood by any mature person that any relationship would have to start as friends. Their mutuality will govern how that relationship will develop and grow. I think it is important in the profile to indicate just what your ultimate goal is. The common phrase "looking for friends first, then we'll see where it goes from there" would be a fair way of indicating how you expect a relationship to start and continue. But plainly saying you are looking for a serious (or lasting) relationship is appropriate to ward off those who are just looking for FWB, etc.

The smile attracts me, the personality keeps my interest, the kiss makes me want more

OMG.........its the kiss. It's a total turn on or a total downer

in my mind
I think we all understand that Ego and Self Esteem are 2 different animals. They are antonyms. But no matter if you say Ego or Self Esteem, you're talking about attitude. So forget all the psychological mumbo jumbo (unless of course your psycho) and realize that when someone talks about someone with an Ego, He's not talking about a good attitude. Self Esteem is confirming to yourself (as Panch so correctly stated) your good attitudes. For instance, Golf raises or lowers you're self esteem by playing good or bad respectively. When you're at your peak of your game you are full of self esteem. But when you overplay it into greater than it truly is, then they say "he's developed and Ego".