I had one guy that came over to watch a movie... as I'm flipping thru the channel he takes MY remote out of MY hand, tells me that movie is stupid, and proceeds to change the channel. He farted on me, not once, not twice, but THREE times!! Says " I hope you don't mind I have a gas problem" I was sooooo trying to be polite, I really really was I swear lol til he tried to hump my leg like a dog in heat

How about we tell our hellish date horror stories...

I’ll start with mine:

I pick this girl up who only had headshots on her profile. So I wasn’t sure if she was going to be huge or not. She looked cute in her pics and seemed really nice. She said she LOVED to kiss. So you would think she would be good at it. Well, I’ll just say that I wasn’t attracted to her when I picked her up. But I figured maybe we’d be friends, and even if not, we were going to frightfest at the amusement park. So I was going to have fun. We sat in traffic and she came over and rammed her tongue down my throat. I swear it was like a dog wagging it’s tail in my mouth. It was so bad, I wondered if I’d forgotten how to kiss or something. So we get to the park and I’ve decided I’m not interested in anything already. She we’re talking in line about how some guy she met on the computer asked her what kind of wedding she wanted on her first date. We both agreed that was crazy. So she starts asking me questions about my ex. She says “So you were engaged right?” I say yeah. She asks if I got the ring back. I told her I did. She asked what I did with it. I thought this was kind of weird. She then asked if it was white or yellow gold. I thought it was weird, but I figured, I’m never going to see her again, so I told her. She asked the shape of diamonds, again I told her because I didn’t see any reason to care. She asked if it was a 3 stone or solitaire. I must have looked at her funny, but again, I figured “what do I care if she knows?” THEN SHE ASKED IT… What size was it? I looked at her funny and said “Are you seriously asking me this?” She said “What, I want to know.” So I told her. Her response is funny as hell. “Oh, I would need at least 2 carrots. My friend works at Littman Jewelers and she let me try on a 2 carrot diamond solitaire. It costs more than some people’s cars, but I don’t care, I want one.” WOW. There was no 2nd date. She did have an email to me when I checked it next titled “Super Fun Night.” She liked me and so did her roommate, which is rare because her friends never like any of her dates. What did I think of her? What do I think my friends would think of her? WOW!!

I had one with my imaginary friend that went amazingly bad...started asking me all kind of questions, have you ever done this? Ever been to jail? Ever play romantically with your pillow, or blanket? Really just too personal for me.

I think the worst was halfway thru the date she ask me my credit score................END DATE

NOTE: This is not meant to cast ALL females in this light. We were surprised and happy to learn that this was actually a pretty small subset of the folks we encountered. MOST were actually pleasant, and in no way classifiable in the 'gold-digger' category. We only included the obvious GD types - in order to find out the salary level cut offs.

I ended up going on a date with a girl i met from Yahoo personals shortly after I moved here..... she was trying a little too hard to get me to bring her to my place. I found out why the next day (no, she didn't go back to my place, I ditched her at her car)... it turns out she was homeless.

Dodged that bullet

i havent had a date does that count

I had one guy that came over to watch a movie... as I'm flipping thru the channel he takes MY remote out of MY hand, tells me that movie is stupid, and proceeds to change the channel. He farted on me, not once, not twice, but THREE times!! Says " I hope you don't mind I have a gas problem" I was sooooo trying to be polite, I really really was I swear lol til he tried to hump my leg like a dog in heat

I will only impart such knowledge in an e-mail. These are powerful secrets not to be shared with those who are unworthy

Setting the scene:
Divorced for just about a year, separated a year before divorce. Occupied myself with work, did not date, nor take an interest in such.
Friends and good co-workers I had basically harassed me into talking to a woman who was trying to make herself noticed to me (yeah yeah..typical male..I know...) and take her out.

Pre-Flight:
Talked to her, and made arrangements to go out following my next upcoming business trip. She seemed very happy with such. Coming home from trip, flights were a bit delayed, so I told her this, but also that I expected to be on time for our date. Note - due to work, this means I would get there after about 28 hours without sleep. That becomes important later.

Take-off and cruising:
I did arrive on time - barely - and we went out. Typical dinner, movie date, and she was very pleasant company in all respects. Neither of us was ready for the date to end after the movie - so I took her to a local pier and beach area for a evening walk. (32 hours and counting) which was again - pleasant in all respects, even if I was a bit tired.

Approach for landing:
After our walk, took her back home. She offered me some coffee if I cared to come inside. Well - 33 hours and a 1.5 hour drive to get to my home ? Coffee? Wonderful!! "Yes..thank you!"

Losing altitude AND control:
During coffee - she made it *very* clear that I was welcomed to stay the night - and with her. Now - I am not so puritanical that I would never consider such a thing. She was very pretty and had been very pleasant all evening. But remember - 33 hours, no sleep? Most females will get a bit upset if you are snoring 5 seconds after sex for the first time.

Crash and Burn:
So - I politely decline, and can see she is not very happy. I try to smooth things a bit - and offer that i would love to take her out tomorrow, if she would like. Didn't help - she is more upset.
I explain - certainly not a rejection of any sort - am just very tired. And if she still desires tomorrow after our date, my answer would certainly be different. Worse still - her voice is raising.
I tell her that I feel bad she is upset - but offer her my number, and that either she can call, or I would call as soon as I awoke. No good - she is getting really pissed now, and I haven't a clue why.

So - time to go here - I pick up my coat from the chair - SHE picks up a knife from the counter! Oh friggin joy. I just do the first reaction - take the knife, and do this push-pull routine that ends up with her outside the door, which I lock.
Damminint - now I am in HER house, and she is out there with my ride. And various objects to trash it with. Great.
She runs for the front door - which I lock and realize it is past time to call the calvary. Call sheriffs hoping that it will NOT be one of the fellows I know. BBBUUUZZ..should have figured that by now.
So - two of them show up - she is berserk - after they get her back under control - the two YUKS start harassing me. Seems this is not the first date she had end like this.

Aftermath:
I have to go to court, of course. I talk to judge and he agrees to a mandatory counseling routine, instead of straight jail time. Okay cool.
Couple weeks go by - I am giving neighbor lady a lift and get stopped. Yup. The YUKS - "Oh...just checking to see how you were" For a year after that...any time I had a date..and they seen me - I got pulled over by these grinning idiots. "Just to check on me"